[Book Exserpted] Untitled

[DarkMage]

This is a first draft. Comments questions ect are welcome.

Pam sighed softly as she rolled over…slowly wakening up. She looked at her lover…his young body curled around her…blond hair tussled slightly from their night. She sighed again touching his cheek gently as she slipped out of the bed, grabbing a robe she pulled it around her…tying it. The hall was dark but she knew where she was going, she moved quietly, opening the door to her son’s room. Marcus lay there his small body wrapped in his blankets. She reached down and touched his face…he’d be four in a few short months. She stroked Marcus dark brown hair gently…wondering if John would come to the party like he said he would…she doubted it though. He hardly came around to see their son anymore, he’d always call when it was his weekend and say he was busy. Marcus cried the first few times, but he didn’t anymore.
Pam moved quietly back to her room, her lover was still asleep…she sat down in the darkness looking at him. She ran a finger slowly down his smooth cheek. How long had they know each other now…a year, if not less. She lay back down…remembering when they’d first met, or more the first time they had talked.

****
She looked at the letter in her hands again…and lay her head down on the small sheltered desk in the college’s library. Her shoulder shook, tears running down her face, she sobbed chocking them off so no one would hear her.
Dear Pam, This isn’t working out. It’s just too hard. We don’t see each other anymore. I don’t want to live like this anymore, I can’t stand being around you. You’ve got such a holier then now attitude now ever since you started college. I’ll be around for Marcus don’t worry about that. But we can’t go on like this anymore. I won’t be home tonight when you get there. I’ll have taken my stuff, so don’t worry about that.
How could he say that? He had been the one who wanted her to go to college, “to better your self” he’s said. She started at the letter she had found at the coffee pot this morning. Her tears and snot dribbled on to the line paper, written hastily, he must have written it as he left the door. She had heard him leave…he hadn’t even said good-bye. Marcus had ran up to her pulling on her arm they were late, she grabbed the letter and stuffed it into her pocket. She had gotten the chance to look at it until after her first class…that was probably a good thing now in retrospect.
She felt a hand on her shoulder, Pam turned and saw a young man. “Hi Pam, are you okay?” She snuffled and tried to dry her eyes, but she didn’t have anything. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a handkerchief and hand it to her. She dabbed at her eyes, carefully cleaning her face. He had pulled up a seat next to her. “I…I’m okay, yes.” She sat back, brushing her hair out of her face, she knew her eyes were still puffy though.
“Want to talk about it?”
She looked at him, she was surprised by his straight forwardness, “No I don’t talk to stran---“ she paused, he had know her name, and he looked somewhat familiar.
“You don’t remember me really do you? Sarah introduced us, back on the first day of classes. I do tours on the campus and tutoring. I had helped Sarah last semester with her math.”
She remembered now, one of her good friends from work, before she had quite, was taking classes up here too. Sarah had started a semester before her. They had hooked up the first day so Sarah could show her around, since Pam didn’t have the chance, because of Marcus, to go to any of the orientation days. He sat there looking at her, a genital but concerned smile on his face, trying to set her at easy. For a moment she felt like just letting it all out, but she hardly knew this guy. She looked at the clock, she had to go pick Marcus up at the daycare soon. He turned his head to look at the clock too. “Oh damn; it’s that late?” He turned, his face was a bit worried. “Pam…I’ve got class, but if you need to talk I can stay. It wouldn’t be a problem.” She smiled slightly at his kindness. “No it’s okay. I have to go shortly anyway. I’ll be fine.” He nodded and returned the chair he had taken. After he left she turned and to look at the note again and she noticed the handkerchief. She picked it up, she looking at it if she could remember his name and wanted to return it. It was a soft blue color, and in red stitches she found his initials CKW.

[Ancient History]

I realize this is the format of putting it up on the forums, but spacing would be nice. The letter from the seperated spouse could be done better; I like the tone but the exact wording is fugly.

The rest is okay, although I'm not sure where you're going with it.

[DarkMage]

The word is a bit off because I was trying to betray him as have a lower education level then her...did it come out more as if he was just screwed up?

It's a romance/self discovery story basicly. So it goes through the struggle of dealing with the eventaully pending divorece, and her trying to be in college, and haveing a relationship with a young man.

[Ancient History]

I got the undereducated part, it just seems a tad overdone. He can be undereducated and still write clearly...or not. It's your story.

SPeaking of which, are you going for a Mrs. Robinson here? I sorta grasped it more as she's a little older in years (maybe 27) but far older emotionally than her Mysterious Young Lover (who is, maybe, 21, 22?)

[DarkMage]

I'd say yes, but I've never read the book (if there is one) or saw the movie. I'm just going for a story. I'm takeing parts of personally experinces I've had and fictionalzing them.
I'll give the letter another go, and see what you think.


Letter V 1.5
Dear Pam, I don’t know how to tell you this, but it’s just getting to hard. We don’t see each other anymore. I can’t stand being around you. You’ve got such a holier then now attitude now ever since you started college. Don’t worry about Marcus, I love him and I’ll always be here for him. But it’s not good for him if we’re to just pretend. I won’t be home tonight when you get there, I’ll have taken my stuff, so don’t worry about that.