[Fiction] Just Another LJ story moment

[Kai]

I forgot to cross-post, so here it is. I'm noticing a bizarre trend in that my sociopathic, violent, and just disturbing stories are always written when I'm having a good day :7

_

An entire fabrication from a one line answer as to why I never comment on JetPlane's poetry in Artistic License! God I need help sometimes....

Poetry and I, we've never really gotten along. I suspect its mostly because poets irritate the hell out of me with their excessive melodrama over things like transit lines, but I'm sure there's much more I hate about it. I hate a lot of things. Dr. Megrove used to say I had a self-defeatist attitude that bordered on violent sociopathy, but he's gotten much better since I shot him in the chest. I would feel much better if I could put a bullet between the eyes of this raving loon too I suspect, but I just know they'd make me buy the damned dress if got blood on it. And I don't think I could live with myself if I had to see a Victorian gown in my wardrobe everyday.

So instead, here I sit it in a Victorian garden in a Victorian dress, sipping, sipping damnit, god forbid you actually want to drink it normally, Victorian tea and listening to some retarded man with a lisp go on about his lost love in a wailing moan. Christ, I can see why if she had to put up with this, I'd have cut his throat to put him out of everyone's misery, but throwing herself off a cliff was probably a good plan too. The intent to sigh was there, but its fucking hard to breathe when you've been shackled into a corset that makes your waist 18 inches, no matter what it started at. Of course all the VNs were engineered to be 18 inches at the waist naturally, it was only the rest of us guests suffering. And the VN males. Their ideas of pretty might be within their own caste, but 18 inch waists do not the kind of cleavage make that I was sporting in this thing. It was a small sense of satisfaction when I'd see one stare and then excuse himself to go whack off.

The 'poet' had apparently finished spilling his guts, disappointingly not literally, as the polite but not too enthusiastic clapping had begun. Finally. And there was the whole reason I had subjected myself to the dress and the tea, and the general company of Nobles. She was beautiful, long golden tresses, a pale blue gown, a heavenly smile. She waved at me, and I waved back, smiling as I imagining the expression that would be on her perfect face as keris rounds ripped through her skull. Her Royal Highness of Antellia, Grace Rose Westeria was a right royal spoiled bitch and had 'requested' my partner as her escort for her visit to Arcadia. And I had no intention of letting her make off with him as the latest in her collection of toys. We'd been partners for almost 3 months and he hadn't died yet, I was starting to be impressed with him. I would have to ask him his name if he kept it up.

Like I said, I don't get along with poetry, but I'm pretty sure the stuff Miss Royal Ass was saying was pretty damn awful given the feigned expressions of enjoyment on the faces around me. Dr. Megrove also used to tell me petty thoughts and pleasure at the expensive of others was not acceptable behavior, but then again he didn't think shooting people was very acceptable and we saw how far that got him. So I enjoyed myself as Grace rattled on for a solid half hour before declaring she 'simply must depart'. Damn right she did, we had a contract based on a schedule, she deviates, and we dump her. Well technically we aren't responsible for her safety, but hell, how less responsible can you be than a couple thousand miles away?

All in all I was impressed that she managed to offend no one, giving us a staged sigh as we escorted her towards the exchange corridor. Of course people followed, sucking up to one of the richest Nobles in the Aurora sphere, hampering any actual speed. Princess that, your highness this, I filtered it all out until one quiet voice asked "A word, Miss Aspen. Simply nod if you will allow it, neither of us wants attention I should think."

He was impeccably dressed, young, but older than he seemed on first glance. Something about him placed him outside of the Victorian Nobles, but he had done well covering it considering I hadn't even noticed him until now. And that name, how the fuck did he know that name... I had no choice but to nod. One of the few benefits of this godforsaken dress was that I had 8 needle-slim ceramio-keris daggers on me that no one could see. “You have two minutes before I kill you.”

"Prince Daric Aster publicly mourned the death of one of his family in the Ceylon Sphere Wars, and the galaxy grieved with him. I doubt many if any at all knew she was his firstborn. Miralle sits the heir’s seat to Aster, his second child. His human child.” There was no squelch. The keris resonance sang in my blood, and there was a dagger through his throat, but there was no fucking squelch of blood and flesh and he was still breathing. Shit, no, he was laughing.

“We had not thought to look for citizens ten years established when you 'died', Miss Aspen, your cunning does your mother proud.” I hit him. I swear I put my fist through his face and felt his godamn jaw shatter under my fist, but lying at my feet was that damn poet, and my dagger? 30 feet away in a fucking tree. This was insane. Not ‘functionally insane’ which was Dr. Therin’s name for me before I threw him out a window, which, incidentally there’s a word for that, defenestration, looked much more concise on the death certificate, but actual real insane. Not only had whoever he was not died, twice!, but he didn’t really exist either. This has just so not fucking been my day.

[JetPlane]

It's entirely amusing and I enjoy it. So much, I'm now curious as to what one line answer could have sparked this and how could a topic of conversation on whether or not you comment on my poetry just spring up?

[Kai]

The conversation consisted of:

"I thought you pushed for Artistic License."
"I did."
"You don't seem to comment much though."
"Well, no, I'm a horrible grammer editor type person and there hasn't been any art or music lately."
"What about the poetry?"
"Poetry and I have never gotten along, once we got away from things that rhyme or have a certain number of syllables, I got totally lost."

[JetPlane]

lol. It's a pity I'm the only one to post much poetry.