[KAMB3E] OOC: Bumpkinville

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Tue Jun 03, 2003 8:34 pm

All right all you little fuzzbags! King Torg (ALL HAIL KING TORG, KING OF ALL KOBOLDS!!!) has decided he'd like to have a grand old party, one that will be rememebered until the Housing Complex (Kobold-infested dungeon) is purged of all Kobold life. That means you and your little kobold buddies had better trot out to the nearest shopping center (The Sleepy Village of Bumpkinville) and get to finding ingredients (stealing babies)

So - make up your kobold, by rolling 2d6 four times and slotting them into these stats.

Brawn - Is how big, mean, tough and strong your Kobold is. When you want to break something, lift something, hurt something, or otherwise act mas macho you roll against Brawn. Brawn determines how hard your Kobold is to kill, called HITS, and how well they hig, called TOHIT.

Ego - Is the intelligence (used here as a relative term), knowledge and self-control (again, relatively speaking) of a Kobold. It determines how well you do at mental feats like casting magick spells, hiding, lighting farm animals on fire, or speaking with humans.

extraneous - Is a useless stat, for things like being a cleric of the Big Red God Vor, or constructing a killer deck of mimic bits for the next big tournament! When doing something that has no bearing on killing stuff, getting hurt, or blowing things up, roll against extraneous. extraneous determines your MOVEMENT.

Reflexes - Is how quick, athletic and dextreous your Kobold is. When you want to climb walls, jump, dodge, hit stuff, or run away, you roll against Reflexes. Reflexes determie how good you are at not getting hit, called COMBAT DICE.

Skills:
Kobolds are only so smart, and can only do four other things aside from killing things and eating them. Each attribute gives you one skill.

Brawn:
BASH - You break stuff good.
DUELIST - DANGER - You can reroll a failled attack
LIFT - You can carry an extra item for a little while.
SWIMMING - You can swim!
WRASSLE - You can wrestle stuff to the ground and subdue it. You can also chomp on small critters, up to an including Kobolds for 3 Damage.

Ego:
HIDE - You can hide from stuff, for baby stealin'.
LACKEY - DANGER - You can cast Kobold Magick.
TRACK - You hunt down stuff for the killin'
TRAPS - You can disarm, and set traps.
SPEAK HUMAN - You can speak and understand one word of human for every point of Ego.

Also, I neglected to say so before, but Kobolds have only the most rudimentary Speak Human skills. Every time you speak a full sentence of Human, you're cheating. And Cheating Kobolds get the big red angry lightningbolt in the baby-hole.

Human speech sounds like "Bob Bob, Bobbidy Bob bob Bob!" to kobold ears.
Kobold speech sounds like high pitched barking.

extraneous
BARD - You can lie your damn fool face off, and people believe you.
COOK - You can cook food and serve it up Hot!
COWER - DANGER - You can add an extra CD if you cower away from danger in an unkoboldy way.
TRADE - DANGER - You can get better stuff when you get stuff!
SPELUNK - You can do all the nifty stuff those blasted adventurers do, like climb rope, pound stakes, and generally mess up a good warren.

Reflexes
ATHLETE - Running, jumping, climbing, you were always first in Hide and Eat.
FAST - You can move extra squares.
THROW - You can throw stuff and make it hurt. Difficulty is the target's DC+ distance
SNEAK - You can move about unseen and unheard
STEAL - You make light with property laws.

The difficulty for all skills is based on your attribute, unless the Mayor tells you different.
All DANGER skills do not roll. Instead, you get a Horrible Death Check.

Edges and Bogies
All of you can:
+ Bark like a Kobold (Barking your fool head off will make a test a little easier. But you've really got to sell it.)
+ Kobold Senses (In spite of having no noses, you can taste the air so well you can identify any living thing within fifteen feet. Also, being brought up in the claustrophobic darkness of the Warrens for generations have given you the ability to see in complete darkness.)

But all of you are:
- Totally Fearless (You have no regard for your own lives, except for winding up in a cookpot.)
- Tasty Like Chicken (If you take two or more HITS in one attack, hungry animals and monsters within fifteen feet may decide to come take a bite out of you.)

You each get an additional Edge and Bogie - roll 2d6 for each.

You each get a weapon, a piece of armor and an item, all scrounged from the Bazar (a large pile of stolen garbage near the center of the Kobold Warren) And being Kobolds, and none too bright, you can only hold two things, one in your left paw and one in your right. Anything else is cheating and draws the ire of orbiting cows.

HOUSE RULES
Chicken Fat Rule - If a Kobold eats a Chicken, the Kobold regains One HIT, the Chicken must be alive.
Kobold Fat Rule - If a Kobold eats a another Kobold, the Kobold regains Two HITS, the Kobold must be alive.
Baby Fat Rule - If a Kobold eats a baby, the Kobold regains 1d6 HITS, the baby must be alive.
KOBOLDS ATE MY BABY Rule - If a Kobold eats a baby, and a human is present, the Mayor may scream at the top of his lungs "KOBOLDS ATE MY BABY!" and then roll 3 times on the Random Human Chart.
KOBOLD DRINKING SONG Rule - If all of the living kobolds sing a kobold drinking song, they can force a Mayor Reroll, but only once per game. And all kobolds must get up and sing or it doesn't work.
KOBOLD SOLILLOQUY Rule - If a Kobold dies, the player can stand and recount the heroic deeds of his dead fuzzhead, then make up a new Kobold.
AND ME BOSS Rule - I had to go looking for this one, it's not a House Rule in 1st ed. Any time you and other kobolds kill something, the kobold that started the attack gets to hand out the victory points, even if he takes them all.
BABY NEGILGENCE - If you do something stupid with a baby, there's a 50% the baby will suffer BABY HORRIBLE DEATH.
TMI Rule - If you leave the game, the Mayor may do stupid and inane things with your Kobold, but he cannot kill your Kobold while you are away.
YOU KILLED MY FATHER Rule - should a kobold die, and his Solliloquy progeny engage and kill the killer, he earns double Victory Points.

KOBOLD HORRIBLE DEATH

Many things lead to horrible death checks, failing skills, doing magic, irking the mayor, being a coward, using DANGER skills and the like.

Horrible Death checks lead to horrible death. Simple, neh?

Victory Points
Victory Points are like Karma.

You can spend them instantly to eat up Kobold Horrible Death Checks. But any change in your Kobold Horrible Death Status, I will make a Kobold Horrible Death Test.

You can spend them as needed to subtract one die from any test, or add a die to an opponent's test.

You can spend them any time you return to the Kobold Caves
Burn 2 VP to reroll weapon or armor chart
Burn 2 VP to roll on Gear Chart
Burn 2 VP to get a roll on Magick Spell Chart, or 4 VP to select one (need Lackey skill)
Burn 1 VP at church of VOR with VORLELUJAH! to gain 1 hit. Burn 3 VP to gain 1d6 HITS.
Burn 6 VP and get you an extra skill
Burn your current attribute of VP's will get you +1 to that attribute -
Burn 12 VP's get you an Outfit, like a character class, only koboldy.

Outfits I will address in my next post, there's no sense in plagarizing more than I have to.

Let me know if you have any questions or suggestions.

FlameBlade · Post by **FlameBlade** » Tue Jun 03, 2003 9:38 pm

ALL HAIL KING TORG, KING OF ALL KOBOLDS!

Is this PB3 or IRC?

Nonetheless, I shall set up my new kobold shortly!

As for weapon/armor/item, we roll, or you roll, Caz?

(fast question: which do you prefer, KAMB or KAMB3e?)

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Tue Jun 03, 2003 9:55 pm

ALL HAIL KING TORG, KING OF ALL KOBOLDS!

This game will be PB3, with possible excerpts run in IRC, should the mood strike me.

You can make all of your own rolls, I trust you.

Oh - and the gear rolls are:

Armor - 2d6
Weapon - 2d6
Gear - 4d6

We're going to be using KAMB3E with a few older tables, thus the 4d6 item table.

FlameBlade · Post by **FlameBlade** » Tue Jun 03, 2003 10:50 pm

Slark the Kobold at attention! ALL HAIL KING TORG, KING OF ALL KOBOLDS!

Brawn: 10
Ego: 8
extraneous: 4
Reflex: 8

Edge! 5
BOGIE! 5

Armor! 10
Weapon! 8
Gears! 15

Slark slithers off to Search for Skills!

WRASSLE!
HIDE!
COOK!
ATHLETE!

Slark comes back up, all happy that somehow, some food he ate made him understand those strange things called Skills. Must be those black puddings of former kobolds!

Now Slark is ready to do Koboldy deeds....which is...steal babies and deliver them to KING TORG! ALL HAIL KING TORG, KING OF ALL KOBOLDS! and of course,cook and eat food!

Eliahad · Post by **Eliahad** » Tue Jun 03, 2003 10:56 pm

Oh great and wise Torg ALL HAIL KING TORG! KING OF ALL KOBOLDS! It is I the highly and most pitious Snotspeare who awaits your most hardhanded and glorious decision. Having somehow escaped firey death I request your permision, ye lowest and rankest of all kobolds, to partake of this expedition where there will be much gathering of foodstuffs to satisfy yon stout tum.

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Wed Jun 04, 2003 12:59 am

King Torg, a kobold of few words (as his gob is usually jam-packed with rotissery of rust monster), slops a kobold rune on each of you in gravy. The rune reads "Approved!"

ALL HAIL KING TORG! KING OF ALL KOBOLDS!

((Eli, you will have to go pick out skills of course.))

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Wed Jun 04, 2003 4:57 pm

Slark - your dice have granted you the following details about yourself.

Edge + Animal Chum + For some reason, animals and you get along well. They will not attack you, unless you attack them first.

Bogie - Animal Foe - Animals hate you, and will either attempt to flee or attack you.

Vor is upset by this, hands Slark a KOBOLD HORRIBLE DEATH CHECK, and the Bogie - Adventuraphobic.

Bogie - Adventuraphobic - While you’re as fearless as any other Kobold, there’s something about Adventurers that turns your knees to water. Every time you encounter an Adventurer, make a 4D6 Ego check or gain –Foul Smelling and the COWER skill for d6 turns.

Armour: Discarded Kids Clothes - 1 AH and at least you ain't nekkid.
Weapon: Small Sword - 2 DAM and no, it doesn't look cool.
Gear: Spice Sack - You are armed with a full set of Kobold Herbs and Spices. When used to COOK a meal, the resultant dish will give the kobold eater D6 HITS.

FlameBlade · Post by **FlameBlade** » Wed Jun 04, 2003 5:15 pm

Now Slark trying to figure out what happens if Slark approach an animal...

Too confusing. Hurt Koboldy head.

*Slark Goes off to beat the dicebot to pieces*

At least I got spice sack, which will go well with the cook skills.

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Wed Jun 04, 2003 5:17 pm

Dude, Vor totally fixed that little problem. Now you're an animal chum, but adventuraphobic.

FlameBlade · Post by **FlameBlade** » Wed Jun 04, 2003 5:18 pm

Ah yes...now that makes senses Slark happy.

ALL HAIL KING TORG, KING OF ALL KOBOLDS, and ALL HAIL GOD VOR, GOD OF ALL KOBOLDS!

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Wed Jun 04, 2003 6:52 pm

Eli - I just checked and Snotspeare's stats suck, even for a kobold. Go ahead and reroll those, and roll for Gear as well.

2d6 Weapon
2d6 Armor
4d6 Gear

Eliahad · Post by **Eliahad** » Wed Jun 04, 2003 7:34 pm

Yes Almighty High Toilet Hog Torg! All Hail King Torg! King of all Kobolds! Snotspeare petitions Vor by ligthing three of his fellow bardic kobolds on fire and eating them with a side of pickled peat deep fat fried in fuzzy fat. Pleased at his aliteration he scatters the bones about and reads off their numbers. (Which takes him a good deal of time, for while he is good at pontificating, he's horrible at the 'readin' and the writin'' as Urk said the other day)

Brawn - 4
Ego - 11
extraneous - 12
Reflex - 3

(Caz, if I'm honest, that's what I rolled. If I want to be dishonest, put a 7 in reflex instead.

)

Weapon - 9
Armor - 10
Gear - 12

And lo, Snotspeare, doth finding more exburance in the tricking of his parents, and the talking down to those kobolds that were more...specially gifted than he. Didst survive by pawning off chores on other kobolds and betting them that the word "arfgabang" (translated to "Gullible" in human) was written on the ceilings of their closets and then relieving them of their baked gazebo tongue (a delicacy). When escaping the wrath of those very same "arfgabang" kobolds he would take to the water where he would swim with the most ungraceful of motions, yet still better than the persuers who spent more time bashing things and wrassling with other kobolds. Yes, Snotspeare was a swimming, sneaking, hiding little Bard, yes he was.

Swimming!
Hiding!
Bard!
Sneaking!

Trait - (Whatever the friend on my shoulder one is actually called...though I guess I have a soap sprite at the moment

)

Bogie - Humpawump...or rather, humpaturnip...or rather, I'm horny all the time

All hail King Torg! King of all Kobolds!

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Wed Jun 04, 2003 8:51 pm

Snotspeare is also nattily attired in Discarded Kid's Clothes, giving him 1 Armour Hit. He found a SPATULA (1 DAM, Bonus die to COOKING), and a flask of oil (Can light up to three fires in spite of no useful fuel).

You'd better hide with all your might, or wind up Human Chow...

The thingy on your shoulder is a +Psychic Chum+ and you get a +2 to Ego rolls.

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Thu Jun 05, 2003 2:35 pm

There have to be more people that want to eat baby and get killed in horrible, inexplicable ways... Common folks! It'll be a hoot and a holler!

FlameBlade · Post by **FlameBlade** » Sat Jun 07, 2003 3:10 pm

Do you want me to send some kobolds streaking naked through Bulldrek threads? Oh wait...that will be for random acts of KAMBNESS...be right back...

FlameBlade · Post by **FlameBlade** » Sat Jun 07, 2003 3:22 pm

Done for now

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Sat Jun 07, 2003 3:39 pm

Take thee thy Victory Point for a Random Act of KAMBNESS!

Yeah, we could use at least one or two more kobolds, as they make this more fun.

Beady · Post by **Beady** » Sat Jun 07, 2003 5:15 pm

Thunk not shoore 'bout this KAMB thingy, but willing to shoot anyway.

Brawn 7
Ego 7
extraneous 9
Reflexes 7

(( Lousy dicebot

))

Edge 6
Bogie 10

Armor 11
Weapon 8
Gears 12

Thunk think little kobold brain pop with all this exershun...

Skills:

Bash
Track
Spelunk
Steal

See Thunk.
See baby.
See Thunk steal baby.
Steal Thunk! Steal!

Thunk ready to find baby, steal baby, an cook baby. All for...ALL HAIL KING TORG! KING OF ALL KOBOLDS!...King Torg.

Ghotty · Post by **Ghotty** » Sun Jun 08, 2003 12:16 am

Wartspittle Gufflegax, Kobold warbasher.

brawn 10
Ego 8
Extraneous 7
Reflex 8

Duelist! I, Wartspittle Guffelgax am great warrior! I Smak'em real good!
Track! I look'um for babies to put in pot to make yumyumeatumups!
Spelunk! I look'um in dark hole for stuff to make'umdead!
Athlete! Sometimes Wartspittle not great warrior, and make run run fast fast!

Edges! 5!
Bogies! 10!

Armor! 9
Weapon! 6
Item! 18!

Wartspittle Gufflegax say ALL HAIL KING TORG! KING OF ALL KOBOLDS!

FlameBlade · Post by **FlameBlade** » Sun Jun 08, 2003 12:26 am

I covered a lot of stuff ghotty needs to know to play this game.

Another Random Acts of KAMBNESS? *bats eye* After all...I got two players...from adversting in IRC and in Bulldrek...

Beady · Post by **Beady** » Sun Jun 08, 2003 1:09 am

Okay, Ghotty was the first. Who's the other? I saw the topic on the forum.

FlameBlade · Post by **FlameBlade** » Sun Jun 08, 2003 1:34 am

Ok, one player...I merely assumed that you saw the topic in IRC...

wait! I use ME BOSS RULE! I TAKE CREDIT FOR BRINGING YOU IN HERE, BEADY!

Beady · Post by **Beady** » Sun Jun 08, 2003 2:25 am

Damn. Well, as soon as Caz can gimme my stats and stuff, I can go wreak some koboldy havok.

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Mon Jun 09, 2003 12:12 am

Flame - you earn one more Victory Point for the second player. To earn a third in this manner, you will have to bring me two new kobolds!

Same Rule applies to everybody. 1 player - 1 VP, 2 players - 2 VP, 4 players - 3 VP.

Ghotty, Beady, I'll gear you up tomorrow Morning. My work machine has the gear references.

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Mon Jun 09, 2003 1:16 pm

Thunk not shoore 'bout this KAMB thingy, but willing to shoot anyway.

Edge 6 +Troll Blood+ By taking one turn and licking your wounds, you regenerate 2 HITS. You can only do this after being hurt and we won’t say anything about Great Aunt Gladys.

Bogie 10 -Pyrozoomania- You have an unnatural attraction to lighting food critters aflame. You must make a 3D6 Ego check when encountering a critter or try to light it on fire. You can carry either Oil or a Tinderbox for free.

Armor 11 Big Metal Shield 12 Armor Hits and counts as one item.
Weapon 8 - Small Sword - too bad it doesn't look cool.
Gears 12 Flask of Oil - lucky you! Because of your pyrozoomania, you don't catch a Horrible Death Check for holding three items. And it's good for starting up to 3 fires where there’s no other fuel.

You've been approved, well more to the point, you've been shoved out of the Housing Warren and told to find a fresh baby or wind up spitted and roasted.

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Mon Jun 09, 2003 1:50 pm

Wartspittle Gufflegax, Kobold warbasher.

Edges! 5! +Animal Chum+ For some reason, animals and you get along well. They will not attack you, unless you attack them first.
Bogies! 10! – Pyrozoomania – You have an unnatural attraction to lighting food critters aflame. You must make a 3D6 Ego check when encountering a critter or try to light it on fire. You can carry either Oil or a Tinderbox for free.

Okay, now that's just weird. VOR must have had something funny for breakfast that morning. Animals like you, and you like setting them on fire.

Armor! 9 A T Shirt - Metalorka Rules! But you only get 2 Armor Hits.
Weapon! 6 A knife - you tell yourself it's a dagger, and that keeps you warm at night.
Item! 18! - Doctor Zum'z Lip Balm MAGICK The concoction inside this little tube will heal chapped lips, and 6 HITS, one HIT per time. As a MAGICK item, you will get a Kobold Horrible Death Check every time you use it.

You're approved, now get out there and FIND THEM BABIES!

Beady · Post by **Beady** » Mon Jun 09, 2003 6:57 pm

ALL HAIL KING TORG, KING OF ALL KOBOLDS!!!

mmm...does a baby count as an item to carry?

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Mon Jun 09, 2003 7:28 pm

Yes indeed, babies do count as items. So you can either ditch a piece of equipment and hope you can get it back, or take a HORRIBLE DEATH CHECK for every turn you hold three ITEMS. The one good thing is that you can move up to 2 map spaces per turn given your Speed of 2.

Beady · Post by **Beady** » Mon Jun 09, 2003 8:33 pm

'Nother thing. How often is counted as a 'turn'? Daily, anytime we visit the forum, or just after you as GM update?

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Mon Jun 09, 2003 8:47 pm

A turn is for all intents and purposes, my update of your actions. Eli's stuck humping Farmer Manly for at most three updates of his character. Of course, I may start some general updates just to keep everything in line.

Beady · Post by **Beady** » Mon Jun 09, 2003 8:53 pm

Okey dokie. And I do hope he's using protection. You never know what kinds of diseases you can get from a farmer's knee.

One other thing, do humans count as "food critters"?

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Mon Jun 09, 2003 9:07 pm

No, humans, except for babies, are not food critters. They tend to be unpleasant on the palate and generally difficult to hunt and kill.

FlameBlade · Post by **FlameBlade** » Wed Jun 11, 2003 8:41 pm

Now I'm back in picture....

last four days...were fucking long for me. I'll post tomorrow when I'm more relaxed.

ak404 · Post by **ak404** » Thu Jun 12, 2003 8:59 am

Hey, this sounds fun. Got room for one more?

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Thu Jun 12, 2003 2:11 pm

Sure! Go ahead and make up a Kobold, just roll 2d6 4 times and assign it to your B E e R stats, then roll 2d6 for an Edge, 2d6 for a Bogie, 2d6 for a weapon, 2d6 for armor and 4d6 for gear and you'll be on your way!

ak404 · Post by **ak404** » Sun Jun 15, 2003 6:27 am

Whoops. Might have to pass, since my chances of being unemployed for the summer have just gone down. Not by much, but the chances've gone down.

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Sun Jun 15, 2003 3:05 pm

Nothin' wrong with that. Good luck on the job front.

I had to make some stuff up here today, not that it's happened yet or nothin'.

A torch, will do 2 HITS of damage.
Being on fire does D6 HITS of damage.
Buildings lit on fire will continue to burn and take 2D6 HITS of damage unless a double is rolled, when they go out. A building section is destroyed after it takes 36 HITS of fire damage.

FlameBlade · Post by **FlameBlade** » Mon Jun 16, 2003 12:06 am

Caz: That makes sense. Mucho sense.

FlameBlade · Post by **FlameBlade** » Mon Jun 16, 2003 6:57 pm

Caz: You never covered outfit, but...say...

I'm going to grab Kobold Veteran outfit, burning 12 death checks, and spend 2 more victory points on burning off Death checks. Now I'm down to zero VP by my count, and zero Death Check. Oh yeah...time for me to force others to give me good stuff...