1. They almost always have their own car.
2. Insecurities after giving birth make even your lamest compliments sound like gold.
3. Their tits get huge, man.
4. They’re used to having to tell someone how to do something, over and over and over.
5. Never any problems with snuggling or staying the night. Even if you wanted to you couldn’t stay because they have to get Tina to soccer practice and Jimmy to ballet and pick up groceries and stop by the cleaners and...
6. That line about “Just swallow it, it’s good for you”? Moms made that up.
7. You no longer have to worry about how you measure up. Something bigger around than your leg came out of there. After that, size comparisons are pretty pointless.
8. I mentioned the tits, right?
9. They know, more than anybody, the vital importance of birth control.
10. They’re used to people who want to put everything in their mouths.
11. They’re good and getting struggling people out of their clothes and into bed.
12. They’re happy to lie back and let someone else drive for awhile.
13. When they find something good – a new salon, a great bargain, you – they immediately tell their friends and pass the word.
14. There’s absolutely nothing you can create or produce that’s worse than what they’ve already had to clean up.
15. They love being able to discipline someone who thanks them for it.
16. They may ask for cunnilingus, but learn how to give a good backrub and you have a slave for life.
17. They’re so happy to be lying down for longer than five minutes, you can pretty much do whatever you want.
18. They’ll wash anything you can fit into the sink.
19. Opening your pants brings instant gratitude. Finally, a meal she didn’t have to cook!
20. Tits, tits, tits.
Why mothers make better lovers -- No, not your mother
Why mothers make better lovers -- No, not your mother
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
"Society without religion is like a psychopath without a gun"
"Society without religion is like a psychopath without a gun"
-
Johnny the Bull
- Bulldrek Pimp
- Posts: 930
- Joined: Tue Oct 07, 2003 5:16 am
- Location: Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates
- Contact:
Hahhahahahahahahahahhahahahaha...
Ah, to be a motherfucker
Just once upon a time
Send the kids to beddy bye,
And sing to them a rhyme.
Then off you whisk, to your bed,
Where waiting woman lies.
Ah, to be a motherfucker
Just once upon a time.
She'll lavish you with praises
And take all you can give.
She'll moan like a whore,
Then ask for more.
'Tis good as original sin.
Do not fret for dire spots,
Nor binding marriage knots.
Heed ye not the lunar blood,
She knows the aftermath of that flood.
All your stark deprav'd dreams,
Are to her sweet lovelight's beams.
For she has no troubles by the score...
What are you, but one more?
Ah, to be a motherfucker.
One more time.
Ah, to be a motherfucker
Just once upon a time
Send the kids to beddy bye,
And sing to them a rhyme.
Then off you whisk, to your bed,
Where waiting woman lies.
Ah, to be a motherfucker
Just once upon a time.
She'll lavish you with praises
And take all you can give.
She'll moan like a whore,
Then ask for more.
'Tis good as original sin.
Do not fret for dire spots,
Nor binding marriage knots.
Heed ye not the lunar blood,
She knows the aftermath of that flood.
All your stark deprav'd dreams,
Are to her sweet lovelight's beams.
For she has no troubles by the score...
What are you, but one more?
Ah, to be a motherfucker.
One more time.