Mysogeny and Being an Dominant Masochist/Sadist

Ghotty · Post by **Ghotty** » Sat Jul 17, 2004 10:39 pm

I've recently discovered that in truth, i am a sadist and masochist. I'm more masochistic than sadistic, but it's a trueism. Is there anyway to deal with this, or should I just go with the flow.

It's kind of hard to find broads who like to be bitten so hard that it draws blood. I like to be bitten and scratched in return. But it's the bestial primacy that biting entails. My jaws clamped on a girl's neck and throat, and I feel like a real man. Like an alpha in a pack of curs.

But that's what it is. Anyone else found that?

I used to think that I would never be the dominant being in sex. But somehow, my confidence has manifested, and I'm just a beast. What I end up doing could be described as some by rape. But I try not to be a rapist. Sometimes I think it happens. It's not intentional.

This is why I decided to be docile, and let her make the move. This way I'm not culpable. I hope. I try to explai nthat I'm very rough. But they don't believe me, and then it's just...a mess.

I knew she could take it, but I only knew the bitch would break it(yeah!)

JetPlane · Post by **JetPlane** » Sat Jul 17, 2004 10:54 pm

First off, if you rape a girl, you're fucking slime.

There's a difference between doing S&M, and knowing that your partner is comfortable and /enjoys/ it, then forcing sex on anyone.

Personally, I'm a biter. I don't do it to draw blood, but I like marks on my partner. I like watching them blush when someone goes, "Hey buddy, where'd ya get the mark from?"

Find partners interested in what you're interested in. Explain exactly what you want, how you want it and why you want it. That's important when you start to get kinky. Sex is about sharing and trust. Work with that.

You are still /entirely/ blameable if they make a move and you push it too far.

Talk with your partners. Explain in lots of detail. If they say 'stop' and you don't know if she's saying it at the height of the moment or she's stopped enjoying it, /ask/ her.

And rape, whether or not you like it, is always intentional if you don't take the steps to make sure your partner is all right with what you do /at all times./

lordhellion · Post by **lordhellion** » Sun Jul 18, 2004 1:44 am

If it'll help to alleviate your conscience and help you define if your crossing the line, do like dominatrices do: give your partner a "safe" word--something that is very unlikely to come up naturally during sex. (If they're into being the docile one, and wish to role-play that you're doing it against their will, then "stop" won't make a good safe word.)

JetPlane · Post by **JetPlane** » Sun Jul 18, 2004 6:11 am

Oh, word.

Being that I let my partner tie me up for the first time tonight, a safe word to indicate what they do and do not want is definitely a good idea.

Ghotty · Post by **Ghotty** » Sun Jul 18, 2004 4:45 pm

Well, I completely concur with the Rape thing. It's just that I have a hard time telling between what is "willing", and what isn't some times. *shrug*

Oh well. Then again, I'm just a spiteful little man.

Johnny the Bull · Post by **Johnny the Bull** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 12:10 am

Ghotty wrote:Well, I completely concur with the Rape thing. It's just that I have a hard time telling between what is "willing", and what isn't some times. *shrug*

Oh well. Then again, I'm just a spiteful little man.

If you have trouble discerning something that fundamental, err on the side of caution and don't fuck.

Thorn · Post by **Thorn** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 1:37 am

Ghotty wrote:It's just that I have a hard time telling between what is "willing", and what isn't some times. *shrug*

Jesus Christ.

I'm glad that the question of whether or not you're raping women only merits a "shrug" from you.

From that am I to assume it's no big deal to you, then, if you're blithely going along and happen to destroy some girl's life?

What I end up doing could be described as some by rape. But I try not to be a rapist. Sometimes I think it happens. It's not intentional.

And that it's unintentional is supposed to make it okay? "Oh sorry, I accidentally savaged you and left you emotionally scarred for potentially the rest of your life"??

Look pal. I don't know what you expected to get, posting this, but I sure as hell hope it wasn't permission/absolution. Because like most things in life, if you find you can't control yourself, it's generally because you haven't tried hard enough.

I'm a fat cow because I eat too much. It's not that I "can't" control my eating. It's because I don't. The fact that I don't "intend" to be a fat cow doesn't make the calories I consume suddenly evaporate, and the fact that you don't "intend" to rape some girl doesn't change a damn thing if you force yourself on someone who isn't willing.

Go get yourself some goddamn therapy, shitbrick, before you need to get yourself a lawyer. Because while S&M is all fine and dandy, you really /really/ need to be certain you're sharing it with a partner who's actually into that scene. And you especially need to be certain you're not "accidentally" assaulting people.

Here's a rule of thumb I've used, that I think you should consider: if you don't feel able, for whatever reason, to /discuss/ you sexual desires with a partner, then you probably don't have any business trying to actually fulfill them. This is especially true of anything S&M-y, and something you maybe you try implementing before you... before you do something you can't come back from (assuming you haven't already).

[EDIT: Clarified "rule of thumb", clearer language.]

FlameBlade · Post by **FlameBlade** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 1:46 am

What Thorn and Johnny the Bull said...

3278 · Post by **3278** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 2:24 am

Don't listen to them, with their safe words and their willing partners. What kind of sadism brings pleasure to the other party? If she says, "No," then you must be hurting her properly. And who would wish that on a loved one? Love is not blood.

They play with evil like it's a sex toy, as if pain is just another dildo for their collections. They find pleasure in the pain of a loved one; it is they who are sick.

It's important to find the right girl. Someone beautiful; what purpose destruction if it serves only to disfigure the disfigured? Someone kind, and innocent, and popular and happy. Someone with a good home life, who thinks her life charmed. The further from the bottom she is when you start, the greater distance you can bring her down.

You don't want anyone to know. They'll punish you, because what you want is sick in their books. [What they want, of course, because it is popular, is allowable.] So it is best to take her without anyone knowing. I like ether, in her bedroom, while she sleeps. Then she awakens, in a strange and dark place, without her family or friends, alone except for you.

You want a basement, in an unpopulated area. You could gag her, but there is no pleasure in muffled screams; you want to hear them, loud, clear, agonized. You'll need to secure her; I recommend a gynecological examination table, with stirrups. You'll have to add the straps yourself; make sure you use cured leather, wet and dried and stretched, or over time, she will be able to pull herself loose.

With her legs spread and her feet in the air, her body unclothed, her person restrained, you have every bit of power you will need. You can rape her, for weeks if you want. If you impregnate her, all the better; take the foetus from her womb and feed it to her. There's something quite nice about leaving several in jars around her bed, so she always has a reminder of you. You'll want to build a mouthguard, a sort of clamp in reverse that prevents her teeth from closing; she can draw back her lips so as not to truly fellate you, but then you can always just turn around and fuck her throat. She'll gag, and possibly vomit; you must take care if she does to turn her on her side so she will not suffocate.

Knives are fun for play. If she is not hoarse from the screaming, if she is not dried out from the crying, you can force her to exhibit remarkable reactions simply by slowly peeling off her fingernails. Cut small, triangular pieces of skin from her face, her neck, her feet. Cut deeply from the ball of the foot to the heel; remember, in general, those areas in which a given woman is ticklish are also generally erogenous, and sensitive.

You'll have to feed her, or you'll use her up before you can get started. You'll have to heal her, as well, and learn how and when to take time off. While her feet and genitals heal, use the base from a blender on her cheeks, her breasts, her buttocks. Burn her eyes; place lit matches in her nose, her ears. Once she begins to heal, return to those healed areas with more force; they will be tender.

You should be tender, as well. If you are only cruel, she will face her hell and simply close down. You should spend a great deal of time being gentle, kind, giving. Do not let her sway you; your kindness <i>must remain false.[/i] She will beg; that is part of the pleasure. Do not let her sway you. If you bring her pleasure in your rape, if any part of her recieves sensations of lust, she will forever hate herself vastly more than if all she feels is pain. In the beginning, before you've started cutting and burning, you may even be able to draw her body into orgasm. You would not be the first. Later, as you bring her more pain, her body will close to your touch, and this tenderness will be largely useless.

Get a welding torch which uses oxygen and acetylene. Melt her cunt closed when you're done with it. Do not seal it, or she will be unable to menstruate. Do not seal her urethra, or she will be unable to urinate; toxins will build up, and she will become infected. If any part of her genitalia becomes septic, do not hesitate to remove it. Cut her labia out. Pull her clitoris from her with a pair of needle-nosed pliers: you will need a firm grip, or they will simply slide off, which is painful, but nothing compared to a swift tearing-out.

Cut her anus like an asterisk with a double-edged knife. Feed her solid food, and listen to her agonized, embarrassed screams. Never forget that the body has methods of covering pain, but humiliation is entirely mental, and while the brain has magnificent capabilities to hide pain, it also has a kind of memory the body does not.

You must make sure she never forgets you. When you are done with her, but before she has died, cut out her eyes. Jam a meat thermometer far enough in one ear to deafen her, but leave the other; take care not to insert it too far, or she will die. Cut out her tongue. Cut off her fingers, and toes. It will be difficult or impossible for her to describe you, to reliably identify you, if her senses and manipulating digits are gone. Melt her tits off, so she can never have pleasure from them again. Cut her lips out, her nose off, her ears off. Take what was high, and bring it low. Share your pain with her.

Put her back in her bed, just as you found her. Share the pain, with her friends and family. She may commit suicide; you can at least take some pleasure in that, although life in agony is certainly preferable to quiet death. You can follow her for years, leaving her own foetuses for her, a knife at her bedside, a reminder that you will never be gone. Sometimes, it's fun to take them back, but usually, if you've done your work right, they'll be far too used-up to make real sport of again.

Pain is for those you hate. Pleasure is for those you love. Do not ever confuse the two. Love is not blood.

Salvation122 · Post by **Salvation122** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 4:45 am

Jesus Hosanah Christ on a tricycle. "In the dark, they can see me." God.

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 4:49 am

It's not like 3278's post is anything new. He keeps shockers like those close for threads like these. Granted, he's focused the thread on him, which is of course what he's always wanted. In so doing, any advice toward fangboy will be lost.

Salvation122 · Post by **Salvation122** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 4:58 am

I'm aware. It's still graphic and disgusting and unnecessary.

Eva · Post by **Eva** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 10:52 am

Salvation122 wrote:I'm aware. It's still graphic and disgusting and unnecessary.

Yeah, but you knew that about three words in so why did you read all of it?

Eva · Post by **Eva** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 10:59 am

As to the original topic, before this became the Oh, Look, I'm So Evil Show, Barb's right, Ghotty, don't be an idiot and rape some girl. The fact that you're not sure means you're not ready.

However, once you and your looooong-time partner are mature enough to have a responsible SM relationship, it can be very good and way more forfilling for you both than vanilla sex. I cannot emphasize enough that you need to talk to your lover about this. I'm personally not very comfortable with talking about sex and my body, but before anything beyond cuddling happens, it has come up in conversation with my partner. Don't chance it, damage done - however little - takes /years/ to heal.

Subversive Agent · Post by **Subversive Agent** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 11:02 am

Eva wrote:
Salvation122 wrote:I'm aware. It's still graphic and disgusting and unnecessary.
Yeah, but you knew that about three words in so why did you read all of it?

For the same reason why people slow down to look at car accidents

mrmooky · Post by **mrmooky** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 11:08 am

Ghotty wrote:What I end up doing could be described as some by rape.

The important bit is whether it's described by your partner as rape.

Ghotty wrote:I try not to be a rapist. Sometimes I think it happens. It's not intentional.

What do you mean, you *think* it happens? Can't you just ask the girl?

Subversive Agent · Post by **Subversive Agent** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 11:09 am

Well, it's quite simple really. If she starts going "no no no stop" and hitting you in the face with her fists, it's a safe bet she's not having any fun. Short of that, bite away. After asking and talking with her and etc etc etc (insert 45 page length "I am not a sex troglodyte" disclaimer here).

Eva · Post by **Eva** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 11:34 am

Subversive Agent wrote:If she starts going "no no no stop" and hitting you in the face with her fists, it's a safe bet she's not having any fun.

You complete sex troglodyte!

Ahem.

I think you're wrong, guy. Part of the fun is the No no no stop part and I guess if you're into the fist to the face, there could be smiles after that, too.

3278 · Post by **3278** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 12:05 pm

Eva wrote:I think you're wrong, guy. Part of the fun is the No no no stop part and I guess if you're into the fist to the face, there could be smiles after that, too.

But /I'm/ the evil one.

Don't listen to them.

3278 · Post by **3278** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 12:20 pm

Cazmonster wrote:Granted, he's focused the thread on him, which is of course what he's always wanted. In so doing, any advice toward fangboy will be lost.

And this goes for anyone else who wants to speculate as to my motives: Here's a giant bag of dicks. Eat it.

Caz, it's okay for you to give your advice, but mine is attention-mongering. It's okay for you to declare your intent to mulch people with a hammer for the crime of owning some stock, but what I have to say is somehow just too bad.

Ghotty can still read all the rest of the crappy advice here, that says stuff like "punching loved ones in the face is okay if they don't mind." My suggestions don't change that, any more than other people's advice eliminates my own.

I didn't speak up so everyone will focus on me. I spoke up because everyone's advice was useless in my opinion. I said what was in my heart, just like everyone else, and for the same reasons. Instead of speculating that my honesty was to show off - as Eva thinks - or to garner attention - as Caz thinks - why don't you try just shutting up and asking me, hmm?

Twisted Sister · Post by **Twisted Sister** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 1:03 pm

Actually, I thought your writing was awesome. It reminded me a lot of Shaun Hutson.

I was gonna post this in Barb's lerjer, but then I figured, what the hell, if Ghotty is all about broadcasting the fact he isn't sure when a knee in the bollocks and screaming actually means "I love you, please continue and never stop, you big snugglemonster", then nothing anyone says is worth shit.

I think Ghotty gets a whole bunch of ass. I think he gets it everyday, and he leaves them all looking like the inlay to Appetite for Destruction...in his head. Jeez. Alternatively, he just got himself laid, and some girl got all down and dirty and it was good - but I have to ask - people, if you just committed a henious crime, would you wonder onto the binary equivalent of an open-air festival to ponder as to whether what you did was wrong?

Rough sex, good. It doesn't have to be with a loving partner, some times it's even better with a person you barely know - but seriously, if Ghotty seriously doesn't know where the line is, he has other problems that I don't think will be resolved from being called 'slime'.

Subversive Agent · Post by **Subversive Agent** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 2:02 pm

Slime is the 42 of Bulldrek.

Liniah · Post by **Liniah** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 2:03 pm

Twisted Sister · Post by **Twisted Sister** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 2:11 pm

You never wished someone ill, Zin?

Kai · Post by **Kai** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 2:26 pm

Bulldrek in 15 seconds

Read initial post
Read counter-posts/advice/general talk
See long-ass post from someone that has nothing to do with the topic/introduces all sorts of minutae to be nit picked by people not interested in the main topic/offends a lot of people
See reactions
See people take offense at previous reactions
Watch original topic become secondary to offending/explaining/defending/protesting/annoying/agreeing with other people's personal agendas.

Gee. That was fun. And people wonder why discussion on the boards has generally tanked.

Thorn · Post by **Thorn** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 3:31 pm

For the record, Kai is the bestest.

3278 wrote:Caz, it's okay for you to give your advice, but mine is attention-mongering. It's okay for you to declare your intent to mulch people with a hammer for the crime of owning some stock, but what I have to say is somehow just too bad.

Ghotty can still read all the rest of the crappy advice here, that says stuff like "punching loved ones in the face is okay if they don't mind." My suggestions don't change that, any more than other people's advice eliminates my own.

I didn't speak up so everyone will focus on me. I spoke up because everyone's advice was useless in my opinion. I said what was in my heart, just like everyone else, and for the same reasons. Instead of speculating that my honesty was to show off - as Eva thinks - or to garner attention - as Caz thinks - why don't you try just shutting up and asking me, hmm?

Your honesty? So we're to understand that you've actually kidnapped a girl and tortured her in a basement? Or is this a bit of fiction you decided to share with the class (a post, btw, that would have been better suited for the Artistic License forum, but never mind that)?

Regardless, what advice did you give? The part about what punctuation mark to cut someone's anus in the shape of? Was that what Ghotty was supposed to take from your post?

No, 32 - you gave one line of advice, so far as I can tell, at the end of a very long post romanticizing the furthest extreme of the behavior your seem to be criticizing. So, aside from providing wanking material for the truly sick among us, what exactly was the purpose of your bit of fiction there?

Szechuan · Post by **Szechuan** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 3:35 pm

I construed the post as being an admonishment in the form of very sarcastic approval.

Now, please, back to Ghotty?

Dude, if you don't know, ask. Period.

3278 · Post by **3278** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 3:40 pm

Thorn wrote:No, 32 - you gave one line of advice, so far as I can tell, at the end of a very long post romanticizing the furthest extreme of the behavior your seem to be criticizing.

No. <b>No.</b> That is most specifically /not/ what I said, and, in fact, contradicts what I said.

What advice did I give? Not to bring pain to people you like, because I believe that's sick, and disgusting, and can only lead to agony. Plus, I don't think it makes any sense; sadism that brings pleasure is not sadism. I gave the advice I thought was appropriate: how to share pain, with whom, in what ways.

That you do not agree is understandable, and I appreciate your asking for clarification. I know my viewpoint is extreme [although I think it no more extreme than the viewpoint that thousands of historical Catholics should be dismembered], but it is my viewpoint. If you do not agree, do not make it your own viewpoint; campaign against others making it their viewpoint. I will continue to believe what I believe, and enjoy what I enjoy. If Ghotty agrees with me, then I have assisted him. If he does not, at least he understands where to draw the line better than he did before I spoke up.

Subversive Agent · Post by **Subversive Agent** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 4:03 pm

3278 wrote:Pain is for those you hate. Pleasure is for those you love. Do not ever confuse the two. Love is not blood.

Fine, I finally bothered to read 3278's Hannibalesque tell of pain and hate. The relevant part is the last sentence (and the first), which was pretty much ignored by everyone.

Now, I can do a 25 page rant on how nazis are evil, and then finish it with "but in reality, nazis aren't evil, hitler made them do it". And end the rant there. The point is that the 25 pages of "nazi bad" stick, the last sentence doesn't. Hence, your point was missed by most people.

The "run over everyone or stop at every crosswalk sign" logic usually tends to make better drivers though. Just don't get so damn descriptive on our asses next time

Thorn · Post by **Thorn** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 4:26 pm

3278 wrote:What advice did I give? Not to bring pain to people you like, because I believe that's sick, and disgusting, and can only lead to agony.

Ah. See, you're assuming that Ghotty actually likes the people he's fucking. I'm pretty sure that you and I live in the same world, in which we'd advise only having sex with people you like (or better yet, love). However, not everyone does things that way. Plenty of people fuck people they hate. Happens all the time.

And well, fabulous - now you've given Ghotty not only permission to torture people he hates-yet-fucks, but in fact a primer on how to do it really really well.

[although I think it no more extreme than the viewpoint that thousands of historical Catholics should be dismembered]

Hi there. I'm Thorn. If you're referring to something my husband, Cazmonster, has said, then I'd advise you to take it up with him. Because while I understand the resemblance is indeed uncanny, we are in fact different people. Hence the different Bulldrek accounts, different icons, etc. etc.

I will continue to believe what I believe, and enjoy what I enjoy. If Ghotty agrees with me, then I have assisted him. If he does not, at least he understands where to draw the line better than he did before I spoke up.

Does he? Frankly, 32, /I'm/ confused about what exactly it is you enjoy and what you don't enjoy. Are you advocating the depraved torture of people, so long as you hate them? Or are you anti-torture as a general rule? And really - if I'm confused as to what you enjoy (and thus, what exact behavior it is you're advocating), then how can a guy who may or may not be clear on what "No" means understand it clearly?

3278 · Post by **3278** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 4:50 pm

Thorn wrote:And well, fabulous - now you've given Ghotty not only permission to torture people he hates-yet-fucks, but in fact a primer on how to do it really really well.

Yes. Such was my intent.

Thorn wrote:Hi there. I'm Thorn. If you're referring to something my husband, Cazmonster, has said, then I'd advise you to take it up with him.

I know. I suppose my point was that I don't see you - that is to say, Thorn - taking it up with him.

Thorn wrote:Frankly, 32, /I'm/ confused about what exactly it is you enjoy and what you don't enjoy.

What I enjoy is immaterial to the matter at hand. What Ghotty enjoys is the subject of conversation. If he is confused as to what I enjoy, I suppose he could ask me, but I doubt I would tell him, since that would be creepy and a little gross.

Thorn · Post by **Thorn** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 6:31 pm

3278 wrote:
Thorn wrote:And well, fabulous - now you've given Ghotty not only permission to torture people he hates-yet-fucks, but in fact a primer on how to do it really really well.
Yes. Such was my intent.

siiigh. Yes, I was quite sure it was.....

3278 wrote:
Thorn wrote:Hi there. I'm Thorn. If you're referring to something my husband, Cazmonster, has said, then I'd advise you to take it up with him.
I know. I suppose my point was that I don't see you - that is to say, Thorn - taking it up with him.

1. I didn't realize it was my responsibility to read everything my husband posts to make sure it's "okay". I must have missed that in the Terms of Use: "Each user is solely accountable for whatever they post - except for Caz, who needs to clear his posts through his wife."

Hell, I don't even /know/ what post you're referring to. Caz fantasizes about wholesale violence against historical figures quite a bit. It soothes him. The big difference here though is that until someone comes up with time travel, nobody can go enact Caz's fantasies. Enacting your "fantasy" doesn't require assistance from any science-fiction devices.

2. Fuck off. Or at least stop trying to piss me off by implying I'm a spineless little wussy. Just because I don't think most of the arguments around here are worth my time anymore doesn't mean I've forgotten how.

3. Fuck off some more. You don't like people to bring your daughter onto the boards, I'd appreciate the same respect being shown to my marriage. Thank you.

3278 wrote:
Thorn wrote:Frankly, 32, /I'm/ confused about what exactly it is you enjoy and what you don't enjoy.
What I enjoy is immaterial to the matter at hand.

Well, it was, until you made it material. (i.e. "I will continue to believe what I believe, and enjoy what I enjoy. If Ghotty agrees with me, then I have assisted him. If he does not, at least he understands where to draw the line better than he did before I spoke up.")

Further, you didn't answer my question. I honestly do think I know you well enough to know your answer, but it's not clear by what you've written, and for Ghotty's sake, I'd really appreciate it if you'd clarify, so:

Thorn wrote:Are you advocating the depraved torture of people, so long as you hate them? Or are you anti-torture as a general rule?

I realize I may be foolish in taking all this so seriously. I'm comfortable with that. I'd rather be a fool who tried to help save a kid from his own damn self (if that's what he needs) than just shrug and let it go, only to later be all, "Huh. I suppose we should have seen that coming."

Anyway, this is going to be it for me. Earl, I know you've got more stamina to play the last-word game than I do, so I'm not even going to try to keep up with you. I haven't got the time or the energy for it. If your advice/fiction/whatever-you-want-to-call-it turns out to be the thing that keeps Ghotty from harming people, great. Fantastic. Bravo.

Ghotty · Post by **Ghotty** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 8:06 pm

double post.

Ghotty · Post by **Ghotty** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 8:06 pm

Ok, back to me. Maybe I didn't make myself clear, maybe you don't understand. So let me go ahead.

Rape: Rape is the act of sex without permission. Can we live with that? I mean, we can agree.

Ok, so what's permission. This would seem very easy: "you can fuck me", or something like that. However, that ussually doesn't happen. Ussually, you move from small-talk and conversation, to intimate touching and kissing(and for some of us, biting and scratching). Now, if the situation is right (enough booze, partners think each other look good, etc) you may move into the actual intercourse.

However, at anypoint, the shift from intimate to fucking, form small-talk to intimate, may happen at a speed that most people will be completely surprised by(I have been, everytime). And sometimes, i nthe heat, or the passion, or lust, whatever the fuck, you may miss those subtle clues.

Now, if your a gentle lover(I'm not), then I suppouse you could easily tell resistance. But for me, the act frequently looks like I'm struggling with the girl. And you know, sometimes it's hard for me to tell. Now, you can say: "quit and ask". Escept that can really ruin the mood.

Don't take this to mean that I just run my dick up some unsuspecting girl's dirtbox without her saying so much as "hello". No. I ussually make the comment that:
1) I'm rough. Fair warning.
2) Are you serious about this?
3) Second warning: I'm rough.

And you know, I'm not about to get three copies of permission from a girl who'se been acting loose to me, and then I warn her, and she continues. She get's a sample of how rough I am, and continues. Well, then guess what: In my mind, you've given permission.

Oh. Wait, sorry, that's not gonna fly, huh? I told you, I'm a bitter man. Then again, I'm also a Mysogynist. Well, only part of the time.

There's a number of women who I admire, and I dare say: "love".

For every one of those, there's atleast 50 others who make me physically sick. Their behavior, their two-face nature.

Call me a bigot. That's fine. Your perogative. Just like it's my perogative to despise women who lead men around by their dicks, who emasculate a man and leave him feeling like a massive failure. Women who use their children to crack the marrow out of a man's bones.

Now, don't get me wrong. I despise men who fail their duties as well. But I don't fuck men, so it's all very well.

That's the problem see. I don't want absolution. I don't want permission. I want to discuss my mental problem with people who won't be biased. I'm very poor and can't afford to go see a pyschiatrist. My friends share many of my biases, or think i'm fucking insane.

My family doesn't understand, and is biased.

So I turn to a community in which I feel safe to talk about this. After all, It's anonomyous. Mostly. But of course, the people here(which would be the community I came to talk about this in) are probably the most fucked up people I have ever met.

Which is probably why I felt like expressing myself here, and not at hustler.com's forum, or some sexed forum. It's because I feel like a part of this community. Because I recognize myself as a fundamentally flawed, hatefull, horrible person. And then I shrug.

I can't help that. I was born this way, and my upbringing, my life as an adult, all of it has sculpted my opinions.

So go ahead call me slime. That's really productive.

Now, to end this: Three-Two is a sick sick sick man. I want you to have my baby. Heh.

Gunny · Post by **Gunny** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 8:37 pm

My Thoughts on the Whole Matter (not to be confused with what I think Ghotty or 32 are thinking).

I'm into rough sex. The kind of sex I fantasize about having isn't rape because it's consentual. It's really rough and involves domination, bestial human nature, resistance (token or actual) on my part and probably some pain. It's brutal, it's hard and it's savage. Most importantly, it's fun and it's what I want (not all the time, mind you). Sometimes it doesn't start out that way. Sometimes it starts out as something tender and sensual, then escalates into brutal sex. It's the release of all moral and pre-concieved boundaries. It's all about the physical and carnal pleasure*.

Having said all that, I want to say that I think I might have an understanding of what Ghotty is trying to say, but since I'm not a resident in his brain... I can't. So I'm not going to. Instead, I'm going to say that I've also found that I enjoy the kind of behavior he's talking about. But how do you know these things until the act happens? Sure, you can sit down with your partner and talk about these things, but sometimes words just fail to explain things. Should I not try to let my partner know what I'm into? No. Letting my partner know what I'm into, in depth (not just vague statements "I like it rough."), makes it far more pleasureable for me that way. Hmm. I could go on and on at lengths about this.

When I read 32's initial reply, I started laughing. Towards the end, I stopped laughing. I wasn't laughing at the shock value or simple descriptive nature of the reply. I'm a sick fuck and thought it was funny. It stopped being funny to me when some of his words started to shift my perspective. Then the last line kinda sealed the deal. I went back and re-read the post. This is what someone would do to someone they don't love. This is what I would do to someone I don't love. This is what I would do to someone I could give two shits less about. Blood != Love, in that post. It may or may not be how 32 views things, but I saw a message in it and the message I recieved is 'Pain to those you don't love.'

I don't agree with it, but that's how my brain, my heart, the life I've lived up until this very moment translated those words. I reflected on my self, my core and that's how I came up with the message in the post. I didn't find it by trying to translate it into what I thought 32 was saying. I found it by looking at myself**.

*Note: these are MY beliefs about MY sex life. Not yours, not his, not hers. MINE. Please do not get confused with the idea that I'm making generalizations.

**Note: yay for being introspective!!!

Daki · Post by **Daki** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 8:48 pm

(The post until I can sit down and digest this and come up with a valid response. Really, only one person will probably find this funny and no, I will no explain it.)

Smurf.

Gunny · Post by **Gunny** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 9:01 pm

Okay, since you want armchair shrinks... oh, I'm not gentle with my armchair-ing either.

Now, if your a gentle lover(I'm not), then I suppouse you could easily tell resistance. But for me, the act frequently looks like I'm struggling with the girl. And you know, sometimes it's hard for me to tell. Now, you can say: "quit and ask". Escept that can really ruin the mood.

No excuse. Learn to tell the difference or keep your dick in your pants.

And you know, I'm not about to get three copies of permission from a girl who'se been acting loose to me, and then I warn her, and she continues. She get's a sample of how rough I am, and continues.

Define "continues" for me. Do you mean continues flirting or continues to suck off your cock? Flirting != Agreement to have sex. It's very important that you can tell the difference, otherwise you will need a lawyer in your future. Should she agree to hop in the sack with you (and in the process of doing such) after you've told her that you're rough... well, that IS permission.

For every one of those, there's atleast 50 others who make me physically sick. Their behavior, their two-face nature.

Call me a bigot. That's fine. Your perogative. Just like it's my perogative to despise women who lead men around by their dicks, who emasculate a man and leave him feeling like a massive failure. Women who use their children to crack the marrow out of a man's bones.

Pfft. I'm a woman and I tend to generally view most women as two-faced. In general, I don't like other women. I don't like the competitive nature, the acid behavior or the weak nature that a lot of women display (physical/mental/emotional). Are all women this way? Nope. Are all men sexist pigs? For the most part, yes. There are a few that aren't though. *shrug* So... was there a point to this or just your way of trying to help us get some view into your brain and how you view the world?

You want to talk about your mental problems... talk. So far you're pretty fucking normal to me. Your sexual needs aren't scary or odd. At least not to me. I'm listening...

Gunny · Post by **Gunny** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 9:03 pm

Daki wrote:(The post until I can sit down and digest this and come up with a valid response. Really, only one person will probably find this funny and no, I will no explain it.)

Smurf.

Oi. I'm in on the joke too you know...

crone · Post by **crone** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 10:11 pm

Ghotty, some might like the idea of rough sex, but not the reality. Or they might like it less rough than you do. Because of the nature of the game, you have to be very careful about setting it up. If you're looking for advice on how to do that, then you've gotten some here.

The part where you seem to be saying "I rape people sometimes, but they are bitches who deserve it" is really worrying, and I don't know what to say. It seems like you are talking about date rape. There are a lot of people who don't think there is anything wrong with it, and you will probably get away with it in court. The only thing I can think of is talk to the women you have (maybe) raped, and talk to women who will talk about being raped and put yourself in their shoes. Then see if it still seems like an OK thing to do. Ponder this: it's not OK to hurt people just because you don't like them.

You don't have to be a rapist to be into rough sex. If you're into S&M that's one thing. It's pretty hard to change your sexual preferences. That doesn't excuse rape, because the idea is to do it in a controlled, consensual way.

Baud · Post by **Baud** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 11:15 pm

I want to discuss my mental problem with people who won't be biased.

It's the biasing in these posts that we provide as people that help you through the problem that you present. everyone is biased, everyone. the anonymity of these boards prevents judging. besides, who doesn't like a good punch to the ribs right before climax?

3278 · Post by **3278** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 11:49 pm

Thorn wrote:If your advice/fiction/whatever-you-want-to-call-it turns out to be the thing that keeps Ghotty from harming people, great. Fantastic. Bravo.

I think you're misapprehending my purpose. If Ghotty wakes up tomorrow and shoves 200 women through a meat processor, I will be very, very happy. Your post, your opinions, they come with this built-in assumption - which is quite logical for you - that people want to do good, to not harm. I don't come with that assumption. People always assume I do, because they [mostly] do; this is why people are unlikely to understand the seriousness of my comments, and to misinterpret them as boasting or shock or sarcasm. I've been serious since I stepped into the thread.

It's okay if you don't understand, or don't believe me. If Ghotty does, then he'll get what I think he needs. If he doesn't, then I doubt any harm will come to him; it's not as if he's going to butcher people solely on my recommendation.

Johnny the Bull · Post by **Johnny the Bull** » Tue Jul 20, 2004 12:31 am

3278 wrote: I've been serious since I stepped into the thread.

Dude, if that's true, someone has (in my opinion) skull-fucked you in your sleep. Some of the above is, to me, beyond fucked. Thats the only way I can account for some of the things you've said.

If there's a big joke that I have completely missed, disregard my caustic comments.

Serious Paul · Post by **Serious Paul** » Tue Jul 20, 2004 12:35 am

I admit it, I admit it. I skull fucked him in the library with a pipe wrench. I'd have gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for you kids and that damned dog!

Johnny the Bull · Post by **Johnny the Bull** » Tue Jul 20, 2004 12:37 am

Serious Paul wrote:I admit it, I admit it. I skull fucked him in the library with a pipe wrench. I'd have gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for you kids and that damned dog!

I must admit, the mask you wore that made you look like the old groundskeeper Ollie threw us. If it wasn't for the stoner feeling your face in a drugged up haze, we would have never found the truth.

crone · Post by **crone** » Tue Jul 20, 2004 1:17 am

3278 wrote: If Ghotty wakes up tomorrow and shoves 200 women through a meat processor, I will be very, very happy.

Why will you be happy? I could understand if you didn't care, but why would you be happy?

The other thing I have been wondering about, is it only women you want to treat like this? When you write about it, it always seems to be about women.

3278 · Post by **3278** » Tue Jul 20, 2004 1:23 am

crone wrote:Why will you be happy? I could understand if you didn't care, but why would you be happy?

I'm a sadist. I like the pain of others. I'm not saying it's right, or healthy, or anything of the sort. It's how I feel, and possibly how Ghotty feels.

crone wrote:The other thing I have been wondering about, is it only women you want to treat like this? When you write about it, it always seems to be about women.

Isn't it strange? I dislike males so much I cannot even focus hurt on them. I disregard them. My life revolves around the female gender.

Look, we can sit here and talk about what makes me tick all day, and I'm not saying I would dislike that, but it's not what this thread is for, and despite what some people think, it's not why I came here. Why I am who I am is a matter too complicated for me to dish out a couple of answers at a time. I'm afraid that knowing me very well is the only way any of this is going to make sense, and I doubt many of you have the time or geographical proximity to do so, even if you had the desire. In other words, enough about me: let's talk about sadism.

DarkMage · Post by **DarkMage** » Tue Jul 20, 2004 1:53 am

I'd like to throw something out here...I'm a Dom, I enjoy rough sex, and sometimes me and my partner may go beyond the convetional relams of the rough sex, but not all that often. In fact some of the most passiont love we've made was peaceful and non-violent but still rooted in my being sexual Dominate. When I said switch postions we switched, when I said I wanted to do something else...we did that.
Just because you're a Sexual Dominate does not mean you're a sexual sadist.

Oh also where does everyone keep coming up with the

What I end up doing could be described as some by rape. But I try not to be a rapist. Sometimes I think it happens. It's not intentional.

Did someone actually post that and I missed it?

crone · Post by **crone** » Tue Jul 20, 2004 2:00 am

3278 wrote:I'm a sadist. I like the pain of others.

I'll keep that in mind.

JetPlane · Post by **JetPlane** » Tue Jul 20, 2004 4:26 am

DarkMage wrote:
What I end up doing could be described as some by rape. But I try not to be a rapist. Sometimes I think it happens. It's not intentional.
Did someone actually post that and I missed it?

Uh...Ghotty did, in his very first post.

DV8 · Post by **DV8** » Tue Jul 20, 2004 7:28 am

Daki wrote:(The post until I can sit down and digest this and come up with a valid response. Really, only one person will probably find this funny and no, I will no explain it.)

Smurf.

"Oh, alright..."

*puts the beltsander down*

Mysogeny and Being an Dominant Masochist/Sadist

Mysogeny and Being an Dominant Masochist/Sadist

Re: Mysogeny and Being an Dominant Masochist/Sadist