One Year

MissTeja · Post by **MissTeja** » Tue Apr 13, 2004 9:05 pm

I'm putting this out there in hopes of maybe getting some ideas. I have friend/classmate named Dee, with Lou Gehrig's disease. She has, estimated, less than a year before she passes away. Her family is struggling to make ends meet, as their insurance doesn't cover most of their medical expenses. She's lived a full life, has two beautiful sons and a loving husband, and has got to accomplish some of her goals. However, she's obviously really upset lately and stressed out from their financial situation and all the things she is trying to do before the disease inhabilitates, and eventually kills her. If you're interested, our local newspaper did a hard-reality based article on her battle, which you can read here, if you wish: http://www.mlive.com/search/index.ssf?/ ... anews?NECN

Now, I like to help people, especially a friend in need and I don't think I've ever had a friend in as much need as she is right now. So, I'm asking for ideas - can any of you think of anything I can do for her family. I do not have enough contacts in this area to try to put on a benefit of any sort, plus I will be moving soon. Yet, I just am gut-wrenched because I want to do /something/ to help this family and my mind is a blank palette when it comes to ideas. So, any suggestions are greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Thorn · Post by **Thorn** » Wed Apr 14, 2004 2:29 am

It won't help their financial situation, I'm afraid, but one thing that I usually try to do to help people out, even in minor ways, is to make a few meals for them. You can put together a few casseroles in those foil bake-pans, get them all set up and partially cooked, if appropriate, then freeze them and write down some simple re-heating directions for them. As things get harder for them, the ability to walk in the door and put dinner on the table without really thinking or working at it is something simple but helpful.

Using the same idea, you could also make up a big batch of chili or stew, put it in disposable tupperware-type containers or double-bag it in ziploc bags, and again freeze it and write down re-heating instructions for each thing.

It's not huge, but it's something anybody can do, and while it won't make the big worries go away, it'll make dealing with the mundane everyday stuff a little easier for them, at least for a day or two.

MissTeja · Post by **MissTeja** » Wed Apr 14, 2004 4:27 am

That's a very nice idea, Thorn. Thank you. I like that it's subtle, too. I don't want praise for my aid, just to help her family out in such an unimaginably horrific time.

I talked to my sister tonight and she made some excellent suggestions as well. I am going to get in contact with Public Relations at Disney and some other major resort-type companies and see if any would be interested in helping out. Often, those companies are willing to give free vacations to terminally ill people, as much for the benefit of the recipient as themselves, for it's excellent PR. I'm also going to go speak to some local photography studios tommorrow, hopefully, and see if any would be willing to offer a family portrait.

I'm still up for any new ideas anyone has though. Thanks.

crone · Post by **crone** » Wed Apr 14, 2004 5:17 am

Those are good ideas.

If you get on with kids, you could take hers down to the park and play with them, or to a swimming pool. She could come and watch, or have some time for herself. If you could babysit in the evenings, she and her husband could spend some time together.

If they are doing renovations, you may be able to help there, too.

Cain · Post by **Cain** » Wed Apr 14, 2004 6:14 am

I don't know what resources are in your area, but sometimes you can find places to help out for low cost. Catholic Community Services is the only national organization of this type that I'm familiar with.

Failing that, though-- come by every so often and help them with major cleaning projects. Do laundry, clean the kitchen, do the basic chores that wear on everyone. Even just once a week will be a major help, and your friend can save her energy for her kids. Given the situation, I wouldn't offer to watch the kids too often-- based on the article, it sounds like she wants to spend as much time with them as possible. But everyone loves it if they don't have to do dishes or scrub the bathtub.

The Eclipse · Post by **The Eclipse** » Wed Apr 14, 2004 7:01 am

I agree with Cain, If she has only a year to live, every moment she has left is critical. Better that she be able to spend it with her kids than doing the dishes, vaccuming the carpets, etc.

crone · Post by **crone** » Wed Apr 14, 2004 7:21 am

never mind