Movies: Summer 2004

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Tue Apr 13, 2004 3:19 pm

Kill Bill 2

Second half, I hear only good things.

Expectations: High
--------------------------
Godsend

DeNiro as a mad scientist/stem cell researcher who clones a boy, begin Frankenstein's Monster mode.

Expectations: Eh.
--------------------------
Laws of Attraction

Two divorce lawyers get married after a night of partying.

Expectations: Chick flick. Next.
---------------------------
Mean Girls

Girl social high school. 'Nuff said.

Expectations: Neither of my teenage female cousins would watch this, and neither will I.
----------------------------
Envy

Jack Black. Ben Stiller. Jack looks to be in his usual energetic form, Stiller looks to be in his usual fucked-up form. Christopher Walken makes an appearence!

Expectations: Sorry Jack, I can only handle so much Stiller.
-----------------------------
Stroke of Genius

Another damn golf movie? Didn't they do this exact same movie with Matty Damon and Will Smith?

Expectations: Fuck, no.
------------------------------
Van Helsing

I don't want this movie to suck. I mean, we've got an interesting plot angle, and monsters including Dracula, the Wolf Man, Frankenstein's Monster and Kate Beckinsale.
CGI looks a bit poor, though.

Expectations: Interested. Probably better in the theatre than at home.
------------------------------
New York Minute

Olsen Twins. Vaguely interested that one is supposed to play a punk rocker, but not enough to actually SEE the film. Tell me when they're Legal and do a spread in Maxim.

Expectations: Not just no, but HELL no.
------------------------------
Troy

Previews seem promising. But Brad Pitt? /And/ Orlando Bloom? <waves hand in air>

Expectations: I'll go see it, but I'm not holding my breath.
-------------------------------
Breakin' All the Rules

Weirdly, this role seems perfect for Jamie Foxx. One of those movies my Aunt would drag me and my grandfather to go see.

Expectations: Wait for it.
---------------------------------
Canadiru

Prison, doctor, riot, NEXT!

Expectations: Go see Shawshank Redemption.
---------------------------------
Cofee and Cigarettes

Short conversations between famous people. I imagine this is what Kevin Smith would like to do if he could sign the famous people and keep the topics off sex and comic books for an hour and a half. Most anticipated scene: Bill Murray talks with RZA and GZA.

Expectations: I might have missed Lost in Translation, dammit, but I won't miss this 'un.
----------------------------------
Shrek 2

Meet the Parents. Oh yeah, Mom, Dad, I'm an Ogre! Aren't storybook princesses supposed to be orphans? I mean, there's a rule somewhere that the parents get knocked off right after they procreate, right? Anywho, looks fun. Not the original, but fun.

Expectations: What the Hell. Like I'll have a date on Friday night.
-----------------------------------
The Clearing

Robbie Redford and William DaFoe. Hotage and hostage-taker.

Expectations: <shrugs> No Spy Game, I'll tell you that.
-----------------------------------
Raising Helen

Model inherits three kids when sister dies.

Expectations: Chick flick. Older-type.
-----------------------------------
The Day After Tomorrow

CGI and Waterworld, with Randy Quaid.

Expectations: No. No no no no no.
-----------------------------------
Soul Plane

I'm tempted. Why is it Tom Arnold always becomes the token white guy in these "black" films? And why don't they give Snoop Dogg a meal? just looking at his lanky form amkes me hungry.

Expectations: Hell, I can't be the ONLY white person in the theatre.
------------------------------------
The Mother

"British" flick. Widowed mother moves to London with grown kids and has an affair with a younger man.

Expectations: Chick flick. Older-married-type.
-------------------------------------
Saved!

Teens, religion, pregnancy, high school. Dogma meets Chasing Amy, or something like that.

Expectations: Not with /my/ money.
--------------------------------------
"Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban"

They really needed to rush these things a bit. FX look good, the original Dumbeldoor is good, but the kids definately look post-puberty already. Damn hormones. Ruin it for the kiddies. Actually, I've been pissed since I learned Ron goes for Hermione.

Expectations: Cousins will drag me to it.
----------------------------------------
"Mindhunters"

FBI agents, training. Silence of the Lambs without the engaging characters. Boy, Val Kilmer's put on some weight.

Expectations: I'm not advocating you just wait for it to come on television or download it on the internet. I'm not.
-----------------------------------------
The Chronicles of Riddick

Sequel to Pitch Black. Vin Diesel. Hell, can't be worse than "A Man Apart," and I need to shut my brain off for a bit anyways.

Expectations: Medium
------------------------------------------
Garfield the Movie

Dreading. CGI looks bad. Bill Murray as voice == teh good.

Expections: Jim Davis is a whore. I'll take one ticket, pelase.
------------------------------------------
The Stepford Wives

Mildly freaky, but can't be any worse than some renditions I've read.

Expectations: Wait for DVD.
------------------------------------------
Napoleon Dynamite

I must not see Napoleon Dynamite. Napolean Dynamite is the little death that brings total obliteration.

Expectations: Sadly, "geeks" will go nuts about somebody that lives "The Way of the Ninja." Even in Idaho.
-------------------------------------------
Around the World in 80 Days

What, again!? Wait...Jackie Chan as Passepartout? Appearences by the Wilsons. Arnold?

Expectations:Fuck it, not even worth seeing on drugs.
-------------------------------------------
The Darkness

Horror flick. Kids. Yeah.

Expectations: None.
--------------------------------------------
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

I'm biased. I hate Ben Stiller.

Expectations: YOU can go see it.
---------------------------------------------
The Intended

Weird creepy family flick. Reminds me a bit of American Gothic.

Expectations: Sure, what the Hell.
---------------------------------------------
The Terminal

Great Premise: the country you were just fleeing no longer exists, your passport is now officially invalid, and you're stuck in a New York Airport. Hee hee hee, welcome to Hell!
Oh, wait, it's a Spielberg. Fuck.

Expectations: Not in the mood for great cinema.
---------------------------------------------
The Door in the Floor

Jeff Bridges, dead sons, affair, fuck.

Expectations: Oh, I don't see why not.
----------------------------------------------
The Notebook

I'm sorry, based on a book by who? Nicholas Sparks?

Expectations: Hell no. Lots of other people will go see it, though.
----------------------------------------------
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

YES! Pulp fiction, an Indiana Jones type feel, and the WHOLE MOVIE was shot agaisnt a blue screen so that the backrounds could be tailored.

Expections: Yesssss
----------------------------------------------
White Chicks

Two black men (the Wayans brothers) dress as the Hilton Sisters.

Expectations: Where's that handy eye-scraper? And my mental floss?
----------------------------------------------
Before Sunset

Nostalgic romance weepy.

Expectations: Hell no, I won't go.
-----------------------------------------------
De-Lovely

The life of Cole Porter as a musical.

Expectations: Kinda cool.
-----------------------------------------------
Two Brothers

Tiger twins life story.

Expectations: DVD
------------------------------------------------
Spider Man 2

Doc Ock!

Expectations: High

Cash · Post by **Cash** » Tue Apr 13, 2004 3:25 pm

Ancient History wrote:Van Helsing

and monsters including Dracula, the Wolf Man, Frankenstein's Monster and Kate Beckinsale.

She sure is a monster. *mrowr*

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Tue Apr 13, 2004 3:28 pm

I just keep waiting for her to take out a whip...

Daki · Post by **Daki** » Tue Apr 13, 2004 3:43 pm

The Chronicles of Riddick

Sequel to Pitch Black. Vin Diesel. Hell, can't be worse than "A Man Apart," and I need to shut my brain off for a bit anyways.

Expectations: Medium

I don't care if it's bad... it's motherfucking RIDDICK!!!

MissTeja · Post by **MissTeja** » Tue Apr 13, 2004 4:45 pm

There's also A Cinderella Story coming out soon alongside Van Helsing and New York Minute. It's a modernized Cinderella story with Hillary Duff and Jennifer Coolidge. Looks teeny-boppish, but possibly funny. I doubt any of y'all are going to see it, but I'll be there because my sister's close friend has one of the major roles in it. Her name is Julie Gonzalo. She also acted in Freaky Friday with Lindsay Lohan, and she's got significant roles in Dodgeball, and John Grisham's Skipping Christmas both due out this year. Go JulieG!

Instant Cash · Post by **Instant Cash** » Tue Apr 13, 2004 5:22 pm

MissTeja wrote:There's also A Cinderella Story coming out soon alongside Van Helsing and New York Minute. It's a modernized Cinderella story with Hillary Duff and Jennifer Coolidge. Looks teeny-boppish, but possibly funny. I doubt any of y'all are going to see it, but I'll be there because my sister's close friend has one of the major roles in it. Her name is Julie Gonzalo. She also acted in Freaky Friday with Lindsay Lohan, and she's got significant roles in Dodgeball, and John Grisham's Skipping Christmas both due out this year. Go JulieG!

You're such a girl.

MooCow · Post by **MooCow** » Tue Apr 13, 2004 5:32 pm

It's a modernized Cinderella story with Hillary Duff

Mmmmm.... Hillary Duff.

Rev · Post by **Rev** » Tue Apr 13, 2004 7:12 pm

Ancient History wrote:Kill Bill 2
Second half, I hear only good things.
Expectations: High

I am already hearing the music in my head!

Dah DAH DAAAAAAH!

The Chronicles of Riddick
Sequel to Pitch Black. Vin Diesel. Hell, can't be worse than "A Man Apart," and I need to shut my brain off for a bit anyways.
Expectations: Medium

Brain off, adrenal gland engaged!

The Stepford Wives
Mildly freaky, but can't be any worse than some renditions I've read.
Expectations: Wait for DVD.

I will see this. Those who are mildly interested but don't want to spend the money might rent the 197x version. It is great.

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
YES! Pulp fiction, an Indiana Jones type feel, and the WHOLE MOVIE was shot agaisnt a blue screen so that the backrounds could be tailored.
Expections: Yesssss

I just hope it doesn't feel like "the rocketeer" or "dick tracey" which are movies I hate.

White Chicks
Two black men (the Wayans brothers) dress as the Hilton Sisters.
Expectations: Where's that handy eye-scraper? And my mental floss?

The trailer had me in a sick facsination with the makup job, but there is absolutely no way I will see this movie ever.

Spider Man 2
Doc Ock!
Expectations: High

Brain off, adrenal gland engaged!

Kitt · Post by **Kitt** » Tue Apr 13, 2004 7:56 pm

Van Helsing - Will not suck. How can I tell? Hmm...Hugh Jackman + Kate Beckinsale... 2 hot people, one movie. Even if the CGI is crap, you can't lose!

New York Minute- Will suck. Lets face it. The Olsen Twins don't want to be called The Olsen Twins anymore. And their 18th birthday is June 8th.

Troy- [voice class = Christopher Lowell] Stop! That's not nice! [/voice]

Shrek 2- It can't suck too bad. Its one of those "What the hell, it can't hurt. And if all else fails, there's always Clorox" things

Harry Potter- Gag me with a spoon.

The Chronicles of Riddick- *drools* I'm sorry, but I'd see it just to see Vin Diesel. That man is BUILT!

Garfield the Movie- The cartoon series was bad enough. Please, no more. One wrecked childhood memory at a time. (Remember Scooby Doo?)

White Chicks- is there no decency left?

De-Lovely - It's been a while since a good musical came out. It can't hurt to see it

Spider Man 2- I dont know, the first one's graphics were majorly crap. I thought Final Fantasy looked more life-like than Spider Man...but if someone else buys my ticket, I'd probably watch it.

DV8 · Post by **DV8** » Tue Apr 13, 2004 8:34 pm

Kitt wrote:Van Helsing - Will not suck. How can I tell? Hmm...Hugh Jackman + Kate Beckinsale... 2 hot people, one movie. Even if the CGI is crap, you can't lose!

Au contraire, I think this movie will most certainly suck. I saw the trailer, and I immediately went looking for a claw-hammer to smash myself in the face. I was praying to God to give me instant cancer right after I gave up the search for the hammer.

Gunny · Post by **Gunny** » Tue Apr 13, 2004 8:53 pm

Godamnit!!! This is the third time today I've snorfed water! Still funny as hell...

MissTeja · Post by **MissTeja** » Tue Apr 13, 2004 9:13 pm

Instant Cash wrote:You're such a girl.

Damn straight!

I'll also be seeing Raising Helen, Dodgeball (JulieG again!), Laws of Attraction, and any other chick-flick that looks worth it. lol Oh, and Harry Potter.

Serious Paul · Post by **Serious Paul** » Tue Apr 13, 2004 9:14 pm

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

JongWK · Post by **JongWK** » Tue Apr 13, 2004 9:24 pm

Ancient History wrote: Canadiru

Prison, doctor, riot, NEXT!

Expectations: Go see Shawshank Redemption.

The critics agree with you.

Ancient History wrote: Around the World in 80 Days

What, again!? Wait...Jackie Chan as Passepartout? Appearences by the Wilsons. Arnold?

Expectations:Fuck it, not even worth seeing on drugs.

Well, if it is half as good as the David Niven/Cantinflas version, it could be worth the ticket.

Ancient History wrote: Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

YES! Pulp fiction, an Indiana Jones type feel, and the WHOLE MOVIE was shot agaisnt a blue screen so that the backrounds could be tailored.

Expections: Yesssss

Please Angelina Jolie, don't ruin this film too...

Ancient History wrote: Spider Man 2

Doc Ock!

Expectations: High

Expectations: Low. Sorry man, but the first one was lame.

What about Catwoman?

Daki · Post by **Daki** » Tue Apr 13, 2004 9:27 pm

What about Catwoman?

There is NO fucking Catwoman movie coming out. As Gunny informed me the other day, the movie that is coming out has NOTHING to do with the comic. NOT ONE THING. DC is actually trying to get their name removed from the movie.

I'm seeing Batman & Robin level of bad here.

MissTeja · Post by **MissTeja** » Tue Apr 13, 2004 9:31 pm

No Catwoman and MacGyver: The Movie got dropped as well. Firefly is still on, though no date set yet.

Brineshrimp · Post by **Brineshrimp** » Tue Apr 13, 2004 9:42 pm

Anyone else awaiting Aliens Vs. Predator?

I am.

Gunny · Post by **Gunny** » Tue Apr 13, 2004 9:51 pm

Mmm... Aliens and Predator in the same movie. *purrs*

Brineshrimp · Post by **Brineshrimp** » Tue Apr 13, 2004 9:54 pm

Due out in Aug.

The only thing that bunches my panties about the movie is it's supposedly set in modern day. Which means no space marine goodness. *sigh*

Cash · Post by **Cash** » Wed Apr 14, 2004 12:18 am

MissTeja wrote:MacGyver: The Movie got dropped as well. Firefly is still on, though no date set yet.

What? No Macgyver: The Movie? I loved the show. *grabs a coil of rope* Ummm, where's the nearest bridge or lamp post?

MooCow · Post by **MooCow** » Wed Apr 14, 2004 12:39 am

MacGyver: The Movie

Thanks god. It probably would have sucked ass. Sequels and movies based on series that are 20 years old /always/ suck. Always.

Salvation122 · Post by **Salvation122** » Wed Apr 14, 2004 12:45 am

Brineshrimp wrote:Anyone else awaiting Aliens Vs. Predator?

I am.

I'm really rather expecting it to suck, from everything I've heard/read about it, but I'll undoubtedly see it opening night as well.

MissTeja · Post by **MissTeja** » Wed Apr 14, 2004 1:33 am

Cash wrote:
MissTeja wrote:MacGyver: The Movie got dropped as well. Firefly is still on, though no date set yet.
What? No Macgyver: The Movie? I loved the show. *grabs a coil of rope* Ummm, where's the nearest bridge or lamp post?

*tosses Cash a piece of bubble gum and an empty gas can* No, man - here! This is all you'll need!

MissTeja · Post by **MissTeja** » Wed Apr 14, 2004 2:01 am

BIG NEWS FOR FIREFLY FANS: I was wrong in my earlier post. "Serenity" is presently scheduled for filming! Due out in 2005. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0379786/ *ridiculous amounts of wootage*

Spiral · Post by **Spiral** » Wed Apr 14, 2004 3:27 am

Daki wrote:
What about Catwoman?
There is NO fucking Catwoman movie coming out. As Gunny informed me the other day, the movie that is coming out has NOTHING to do with the comic. NOT ONE THING. DC is actually trying to get their name removed from the movie.

Yeah, I discovered the same thing when I flipped through some shitty entertainment rag or another. Besides the fact my opinion of Halle Barry had tanked a little more every time she appears on film (she sucked for Storm in X2. SUCKED), I hope DC kicks this film into bloody begging submission.

Spiral · Post by **Spiral** » Wed Apr 14, 2004 4:27 am

The Suckitude that is Catwoman. <- Quicktime vid of a "leaked" trailer--I've also heard that it's actually someone leaking unfinished footage to sabotage the film. If I could judge from the trailer, I'd say this is Halle's Gigli.

More seepage from the litterbox.

Please Angelina Jolie, don't ruin this film too...

There was a time when I would have paid just to lick her boots. Now, she couldn'tpay me to crap on them. That movie looks like nothing but ~120 minutes of Agonie Jolie.

DV8 · Post by **DV8** » Wed Apr 14, 2004 7:57 am

Halle is still delicious to me.

Daki · Post by **Daki** » Wed Apr 14, 2004 1:43 pm

DV8 wrote:Halle is still delicious to me.

Ice Cream is delicious too D. And I won't pay money to go see Ice Cream pretending to be a Catwoman knock-off.

... Unless we're talking Cold Stone ice cream.

Eliahad · Post by **Eliahad** » Wed Apr 14, 2004 3:11 pm

Mmmm, Cold Stone Creamery. *drool*

Gunny · Post by **Gunny** » Wed Apr 14, 2004 6:03 pm

*growls* Requires Quicktime. I can't get Quicktime installed on my machine. Damn thing keeps timing out before getting a particular file or just can't get it.

sinsual · Post by **sinsual** » Wed Apr 14, 2004 6:18 pm

its ok Gunny you aren't missing anything. Sides I am biased, its hard to imagine anyone else pulling off Catwoman the way Michelle Pfeiffer did, though admittedy that is my opinion...

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Wed Apr 14, 2004 6:22 pm

Oh god, I have to go get my executive-killing shotgun down from the attic.

For what it's worth, I really want to see Sky Captain, as there are a number of Max Fleisher Superman references in the City.

Buzzed · Post by **Buzzed** » Wed Apr 14, 2004 10:53 pm

http://www.avp-movie.com/
I'll see this one, who doesn't like to watch things blow up crunch and splat, and hear cool alien noises?

http://www.drimtim.net/art heist.wmv
This one looks low budget.

http://www.irobotmovie.com
Will Smith and killer robots! Sounds fun to me.

Spiral · Post by **Spiral** » Wed Apr 14, 2004 11:27 pm

Troy: The movie that will either bury or breathe life into the career of Brad Pitt.

And I am so looking forward to AvP. I haven't seen a good scifi movie since... Pitch Black? Yeesh.

Reika · Post by **Reika** » Thu Apr 15, 2004 3:11 am

Definitely looking forward to the Chronicles of Riddick and AvP, as well as Shrek 2.

And Punisher is coming out this weekend!

Spiral · Post by **Spiral** » Thu Apr 15, 2004 3:24 am

Reika wrote:And Punisher is coming out this weekend!

Best review snippet I've ever seen is tied to that movie:

"I miss Dolph Lundgren."
-- Kevin N. Laforest, MONTREAL FILM JOURNAL
(via rottentomatoes.com)

ak404 · Post by **ak404** » Thu Apr 15, 2004 5:31 am

What, no Boondock Saints 2? I heard that was coming out this year.

Nexusvoid · Post by **Nexusvoid** » Thu Apr 15, 2004 8:35 am

As is Resident Evil: Apocalypse

Serious Paul · Post by **Serious Paul** » Thu Apr 15, 2004 11:11 am

BD2 I have heard whispers about but haven't put effort intot racking. I should, if it comes out it will be the one movie this year I definitely see on opening night with out question.

And if they fuck it up, me and everyone here re going to Hollywood, to KILL BURN and DESTROY whomever fucked one of the best ideas ever.

Buzzed · Post by **Buzzed** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 2:19 am

This movie screams "Crimpson Skies." But with mechs from Mechwarrior and ornithopters from Dune.

http://www.skycaptain.com/home.html

Spiral · Post by **Spiral** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 2:58 am

OK, I'll admit it, Sky Captain looks like great, campy 1940s sci-fi fun.

Cash · Post by **Cash** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 3:25 am

Which means that it's going to bomb. Will I see it? Hell yeah.

Buzzed · Post by **Buzzed** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 3:27 am

I have a confession to make. I want to see I.Robot.

DV8 · Post by **DV8** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 8:07 am

Me, too.

Brineshrimp · Post by **Brineshrimp** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 5:56 pm

Strangely, I do too.

I actually like Will Smith.

*leaves the room to prepare for his well-deserved flogging*

MooCow · Post by **MooCow** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 6:00 pm

I actually like Will Smith

So do I. He's a decent actor, and he seems like a nice guy. I still watch reruns of "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" occasionally.

AtemHutlrt · Post by **AtemHutlrt** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 7:10 pm

Troy

I'll see everything Wolfgang Peterson makes. Eventually, he's /gotta/ find another decent project, doesn't he?

Coffee and Cigarettes

Jim Jarmusch found his niche. This'll be good.

Garfield the Movie

This was written by Joel Cohen. Please note the H. This caused me much confusion. Trailers show Garfield acting quite contrary to his usual nature; this'll suck.

The Stepford Wives

A while ago, in Pittsburgh, I hung out with a girl who's one of the Wives. I'll see this for that reason. Seriously, is Matthew Broderick any director's first choice for a leading man?

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

This is an important project. See it for the future of truly independent cinema.

The Exorcist IV

I'll see anything Reni Harlin makes, because I'm a dumbass. The politics involving Paul Shrader's role are interesting, but this should be crummy.

Ikarus7 · Post by **Ikarus7** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 7:25 pm

I am a sexual machine now. Raring to go every second of the day. I'm human Viagra. I am Will-agra. -Will Smith

Will Smith rocks! -Will Smith

Decent actor, maybe, but I think he like himself too much

MooCow · Post by **MooCow** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 7:30 pm

Decent actor, maybe, but I think he like himself too much

Well I'm not going to defend him, as I've never met the man. I'd need to see the context of those quotes in order to judge if they are arrogant or not.

Thorn · Post by **Thorn** » Fri Apr 23, 2004 2:40 am

Ikarus7 wrote:Decent actor, maybe, but I think he like himself too much

Dude. Actors. They /all/ like themselves too much. It's the nature of the beast.

Movies: Summer 2004

Movies: Summer 2004

Re: Movies: Summer 2004

Re: Movies: Summer 2004

Re: Movies: Summer 2004