What are the most ass-kickin-est movie quotes?
My top 5 (ish):
1. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. --Inigo Montoya The Princess Bride
2. Jimmie: Now let me ask you a question, Jules. When you drove in here, did you notice a sign out in front that said, "Dead nigger storage"?
Jules: Jimmie...
Jimmie: Answer the question. Did you see a sign out in front of my house that said "Dead nigger storage"?
Jules: Naw man, I didn't.
Jimmie: You know why you didn't see that sign?
Jules: Why?
Jimmie: 'Cause storin' dead niggers ain't my fuckin' business.
--Pulp Fiction
3. Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right in the eye and says, "Give me your best shot. I can take it." --Jack Burton Big Trouble in Little China
4. And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by from this day until the ending of the world but we in it shall be remembered. We few, we happy few, we band of brothers. For he today who sheds his blood with me shall be my brother. Be he ne'er so vile, this day shall gentle his condition, and gentlemen in England now abed shall think themselves acursed they were not here, and hold their manhoods cheap whilst any speaks, that fought with us upon St. Crispin's day! --King Henry Henry V
5. I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all the French beaches I'd never see. I wanted to breathe smoke. --Narrator Fight Club
Movie Quotes that Kick Ass
-
Bethyaga
- Knight of the Crimson Assfro
- Posts: 2777
- Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2002 10:39 pm
- Location: Nebraska, USA
- Contact:
Movie Quotes that Kick Ass
_Whoever invented that brush that goes next to the toilet is an idiot, cuz that thing hurts.
-
MissTeja
- Wuffle Grand Master
- Posts: 1959
- Joined: Fri Nov 22, 2002 3:25 am
- Location: Grand Rapids
- Contact:
It's hard to make a Top 5 list because though I'm a movie buff, there are still a ton of good ones I have yet to see. I've listed 5 of the best ones I know of so far, though:
I.N.P.O.:
"I killed him. He's decomposing in my locker." -Stand and Deliver
"The point is ladies and gentlemen that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of it's forms - greed for life, for money, knowledge - has marked the upward surge of mankind and greed - you mark my words - will not only save Teldar Paper but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA. Thank you." -Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) - Wall Street
"Janie, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus." -Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey) -American Beauty
These two are a tad long; more monologue like, but they're great scenes:
Ms. Sanchez: Let's be honest here. $20 million dollars is more money then these people have ever dreamed of.
Erin Brockovich: Oh see, now that pisses me off. First of all, since the demur we have more than 400 plaintiffs and... let's be honest, we all know there are more out there. They may not be the most sophisticated people but they do know how to divide and $20 million isn't *shit* when you split it between them. Second of all, these people don't dream about being rich. They dream about being able to watch their kids swim in a pool without worrying that they'll have to have a hysterectomy at the age of *twenty*. Like Rosa Diaz, a client of ours. Or have their spine deteriorate, like Stan Blume, *another* client of ours. So before you come back here with another lame ass offer, I want you to think real hard about what your spine is worth Mr. Walker. Or what you might expect someone to pay you for your uterus Ms. Sanchez. Then you take out your calculator and you multiply that number by a hundred. Anything less than that is a waste of our time.
[Ms. Sanchez picks up a glass of water]
Erin Brockovich: By the way, we had that water brought in especially for you folks. Came from a well in Hinkley.
Ms. Sanchez: I think this meeting is over.
Ed Masry: Damn right it is.
-Erin Brockovich
"Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.? That's a tough one, but I'll give it a shot. Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. So I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never had a problem with get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Send in the marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a shit. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number was called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some guy from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes home to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile my buddy from Southie realizes the only reason he was over there was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And of course the oil companies used the skirmish to scare up oil prices so they could turn a quick buck. A cute little ancillary benefit for them but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And naturally they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's got to walk to the job interviews, which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he's starvin' 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what do I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. Why not just shoot my buddy, take his job and give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president." -Will (Matt Damon), Good Will Hunting
I.N.P.O.:
"I killed him. He's decomposing in my locker." -Stand and Deliver
"The point is ladies and gentlemen that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of it's forms - greed for life, for money, knowledge - has marked the upward surge of mankind and greed - you mark my words - will not only save Teldar Paper but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA. Thank you." -Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) - Wall Street
"Janie, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus." -Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey) -American Beauty
These two are a tad long; more monologue like, but they're great scenes:
Ms. Sanchez: Let's be honest here. $20 million dollars is more money then these people have ever dreamed of.
Erin Brockovich: Oh see, now that pisses me off. First of all, since the demur we have more than 400 plaintiffs and... let's be honest, we all know there are more out there. They may not be the most sophisticated people but they do know how to divide and $20 million isn't *shit* when you split it between them. Second of all, these people don't dream about being rich. They dream about being able to watch their kids swim in a pool without worrying that they'll have to have a hysterectomy at the age of *twenty*. Like Rosa Diaz, a client of ours. Or have their spine deteriorate, like Stan Blume, *another* client of ours. So before you come back here with another lame ass offer, I want you to think real hard about what your spine is worth Mr. Walker. Or what you might expect someone to pay you for your uterus Ms. Sanchez. Then you take out your calculator and you multiply that number by a hundred. Anything less than that is a waste of our time.
[Ms. Sanchez picks up a glass of water]
Erin Brockovich: By the way, we had that water brought in especially for you folks. Came from a well in Hinkley.
Ms. Sanchez: I think this meeting is over.
Ed Masry: Damn right it is.
-Erin Brockovich
"Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.? That's a tough one, but I'll give it a shot. Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. So I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never had a problem with get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Send in the marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a shit. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number was called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some guy from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes home to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile my buddy from Southie realizes the only reason he was over there was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And of course the oil companies used the skirmish to scare up oil prices so they could turn a quick buck. A cute little ancillary benefit for them but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And naturally they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's got to walk to the job interviews, which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he's starvin' 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what do I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. Why not just shoot my buddy, take his job and give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president." -Will (Matt Damon), Good Will Hunting
To the entire world, you may be one single person, but to one person, you may be the entire world.
-
Salvation122
- Grand Marshall of the Imperium
- Posts: 3776
- Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2002 7:20 pm
- Location: Memphis, TN
Long and in no particular order:
- Who are you carrying all those bricks for anyway? God? Is that it...God? Well I tell ya, let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man... instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does he do, I swear for his own amusement, his own private, cosmic, gag-reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, but don't swallow. And while you're jumping from one foot to the next, what is he doing? He's laughing his sick fucking ass off. He's a tight ass, He's a sadist. HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD! Worship that? Never.
-John Milton, The Devil's Advocate - Jules:What does Marsellus Wallace look like?
Brett: What?
Jules: What country you from?
Brett: What?
Jules: "What" ain't no country I ever heard of. They speak English in what?
Brett: What?
Jules: ENGLISH, motherfucker, do you speak it!
Brett: What?
Jules: Say what again. Say what again, I dare you, I double-dare you, motherfucker, say what one more goddamn time.
Brett: Okay, okay!
Jules: Describe what Marsellus Wallace looks like.
Brett: He's black...
Jules: Go on.
Brett: He's bald...
Jules: Does he look like a bitch?
Brett: What?
*Gunshot.*
Jules: Does he look like a bitch!
Brett: NO!
Jules: Then why'd you try to fuck him like a bitch? Yes you did, Brett! Yes you did! and Marsellus Wallace does not like to be fucked by anyone except Missus Wallace.
-Jules and Brett, Pulp Fiction. - Apology accepted, Captain Needa.
-Darth Vader, The Empire Strikes Back - Donny: Why do you wear that stupid rabbit suit?
Frank: Why do you wear that stupid man suit?
-Donny and Frank, Donnie Darko - Just this one. Please, God, you can have all the other ones. Just let me remember this.
-Joel, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (paraphrased.)
Last edited by Salvation122 on Wed Mar 31, 2004 2:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
1.
Dick Durkin: We need to get bigger guns. BIG FUCKING GUNS!
Split Second
2.
Timothy Busfield (Dick Gordon): National Security Agency.
Robert Redford (Martin Bishop): Oh, you're the guys I hear breathing on the other end of my phone.
Timothy Busfield (Gordon): No, that's the F.B.I. We're not chartered for domestic surveillance.
Robert Redford (Martin): Oh, I see. You just overthrow governments and set up friendly dictators.
Timothy Busfield (Gordon): No, that's the C.I.A. We protect our government's communications, we try and break the other fellow's codes. We're the good guys, Marty.
Robert Redford (Martin): Gee, I can't tell you what a relief that is, Dick.
Sneakers
3.
Uncle: "Hand is quicker than the eye! But should have been watching the foot."
Jackie Chan Adventures So its not a movie, its still a good quote
4.
Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand?! Honestly!
Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.
Brian: What?! Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!
Followers: He is! He is the Messiah!
Brian: Now, fuck off!
[silence]
Arthur: How shall we fuck off, O Lord?
Life of Brian
Erm...brain isn't cooperating for a 5th.
Dick Durkin: We need to get bigger guns. BIG FUCKING GUNS!
Split Second
2.
Timothy Busfield (Dick Gordon): National Security Agency.
Robert Redford (Martin Bishop): Oh, you're the guys I hear breathing on the other end of my phone.
Timothy Busfield (Gordon): No, that's the F.B.I. We're not chartered for domestic surveillance.
Robert Redford (Martin): Oh, I see. You just overthrow governments and set up friendly dictators.
Timothy Busfield (Gordon): No, that's the C.I.A. We protect our government's communications, we try and break the other fellow's codes. We're the good guys, Marty.
Robert Redford (Martin): Gee, I can't tell you what a relief that is, Dick.
Sneakers
3.
Uncle: "Hand is quicker than the eye! But should have been watching the foot."
Jackie Chan Adventures So its not a movie, its still a good quote
4.
Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand?! Honestly!
Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.
Brian: What?! Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!
Followers: He is! He is the Messiah!
Brian: Now, fuck off!
[silence]
Arthur: How shall we fuck off, O Lord?
Life of Brian
Erm...brain isn't cooperating for a 5th.
10:41 Kai: Ohayou minna
10:42 Adam: ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER!
10:44 Kai: Fuck off, how's that? ;P
10:45 Adam: Much better.
-
The Eclipse
- Knight of the Imperium
- Posts: 3240
- Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2002 5:22 am
- Location: Salem, Oregon
"Are you ready to be fucked, man!?" -- Jesus, The Big Leboewski
"Go back to your paper routes, ya mighty duck fucks!" - Jay, Dogma
"Luckily, right at that moment, an unconcious Argentinian fell through my roof" Ewan McGregor, Moulin Rouge
"Go back to your paper routes, ya mighty duck fucks!" - Jay, Dogma
"Luckily, right at that moment, an unconcious Argentinian fell through my roof" Ewan McGregor, Moulin Rouge
-----------------------------------------------------------------
'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
'You must be', said the Cat, 'or you wouldn't have come here.'
MooCow is a carrier of Mad Cow Disease
'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
'You must be', said the Cat, 'or you wouldn't have come here.'
MooCow is a carrier of Mad Cow Disease
-
Ln(e)
- Tasty Human
- Posts: 78
- Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2003 9:58 pm
- Location: Not yet home, but the Iron Ring is MINE!
"Good, Bad, I'm the guy with the gun"
Ashe - Army of Darkness
"Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, and why we died. All that matters is that today, two stood against many. Valor pleases you, so grant me this one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, the HELL with you!"
Conan - Conan the Barbarian
Ashe - Army of Darkness
"Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, and why we died. All that matters is that today, two stood against many. Valor pleases you, so grant me this one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, the HELL with you!"
Conan - Conan the Barbarian
_____________________________________________
NHL? NHL? Denial is good. Very good.
NHL? NHL? Denial is good. Very good.
It is just 'Ash' as far as I know.Ln(e) wrote:"Good, Bad, I'm the guy with the gun"
Ashe - Army of Darkness
That movie also have a small army of other great quotes such as;
Ash: Hail to the king, baby!
Ash: I got news for you, pal. You ain't leading but two things right now: Jack and Shit. And, Jack left town.
Ash: Give me some sugar, baby.
Ash: Yo, she-bitch. Let's go.
Ash: First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me. Blow.
Ash: Klaatu verrata n... Necktie... Nickel... It's an "N" word, it's definitely an "N" word!
Sheila: But what of all those sweet words you spoke in private?
Ash: Oh that's just what we call pillow talk, baby, that's all.
Sheila: I may be bad...but I feel gooood.
Sheila: You found me beautiful once...
Ash: Honey, you got reeeal ugly!
To pick a few from other movies, I am somewhat partial to the one MissTeja had from Good Will Hunting. I like that one.
Jessica Rabbit (Who Framed Roger Rabbit): I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way.
Indy: That belongs oin a museum.
Panama Hat: So do you!
(Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade)
Vietnamese hooker (Full Metal Jacket): Well baby... me so horney... me so horney... me love you, long time... you party?
Cronauer (Good Morning Vietnam): You're in more dire need of a blow job than any white man in history!
Ferris (Ferris Bueller's day off): It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.
Harry (Sudden Impact): Go ahead, make my day
WOPR (Wargames): How about a nice game of chess?
"Look I know you're new here and don't really understand how things work so I'll explain this all for you. *pause* You. Have. No. Brain."
- Kevin Spacey "Swimming With Sharks"
<b>*BLAM*BLAM*BLAM*BLAM*BLAM*BLAM*BLAM*BLAM* *Bodies dropping all over the room*</b> ((In japanese)) I understand "fucking jap"!
- Takeshi Kitano "Brother"
Texas Creek: Where's Wyatte?
Doc: He's down by the water, walking on water. *cough*cough*
Texas Creek: Doc, what the hell are you doing out here?
Doc: Whyatte Earp is my friend.
Texas Creek: Friend? Hell, I got lots of friends.
Doc: I don't.
- Tombstone
Sparrow: "You burned all the rum?"
"Yes, the rum is gone."
Sparrow: "Why is the rum gone?"
- Pirates of the Carribean
"You see my new boots? Genuine eel skin leather."
[i]"They're fish boots?"[/i]
"Shut the fuck up and drive the car."
- Dennis Leary "Suicide Kings"
(and from the same movie)
"I have a rule... if you want to touch my dick, you have to give me a drink."
- Christopher Walken
- Kevin Spacey "Swimming With Sharks"
<b>*BLAM*BLAM*BLAM*BLAM*BLAM*BLAM*BLAM*BLAM* *Bodies dropping all over the room*</b> ((In japanese)) I understand "fucking jap"!
- Takeshi Kitano "Brother"
Texas Creek: Where's Wyatte?
Doc: He's down by the water, walking on water. *cough*cough*
Texas Creek: Doc, what the hell are you doing out here?
Doc: Whyatte Earp is my friend.
Texas Creek: Friend? Hell, I got lots of friends.
Doc: I don't.
- Tombstone
Sparrow: "You burned all the rum?"
"Yes, the rum is gone."
Sparrow: "Why is the rum gone?"
- Pirates of the Carribean
"You see my new boots? Genuine eel skin leather."
[i]"They're fish boots?"[/i]
"Shut the fuck up and drive the car."
- Dennis Leary "Suicide Kings"
(and from the same movie)
"I have a rule... if you want to touch my dick, you have to give me a drink."
- Christopher Walken
-
Thunderchild
- Bulldrekker
- Posts: 233
- Joined: Tue Oct 07, 2003 8:08 am
- Location: A blighted waste
- Contact:
1. Rob from High Fidelity:
Should I bolt every time I get that feeling in my gut when I meet someone new? Well, I've been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains.
2. Snatch:
Turkish: Fuck me, hold tight. What's that?
Tommy: It's me belt, Turkish.
Turkish: No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?
Tommy: It's for protection.
Turkish: Protection from what? "Zee Germans"?
3. Full Metal Jacket:
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: How tall are you, private?
Private Cowboy: Sir, five-foot-nine, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked shit that high.
4. Chasing Amy
Banky Edwards: What's a "Nubian"?
Hooper: Shut the fuck up!
5.
far too many to frigging well count deserve this spot.
Should I bolt every time I get that feeling in my gut when I meet someone new? Well, I've been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains.
2. Snatch:
Turkish: Fuck me, hold tight. What's that?
Tommy: It's me belt, Turkish.
Turkish: No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?
Tommy: It's for protection.
Turkish: Protection from what? "Zee Germans"?
3. Full Metal Jacket:
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: How tall are you, private?
Private Cowboy: Sir, five-foot-nine, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked shit that high.
4. Chasing Amy
Banky Edwards: What's a "Nubian"?
Hooper: Shut the fuck up!
5.
far too many to frigging well count deserve this spot.
Or, better yet, "John Milton, The Devil's Advocate"Salvation122 wrote:
- Who are you carrying all those bricks for anyway? God? Is that it...God? Well I tell ya, let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man... instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does he do, I swear for his own amusement, his own private, cosmic, gag-reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, but don't swallow. And while you're jumping from one foot to the next, what is he doing? He's laughing his sick fucking ass off. He's a tight ass, He's a sadist. HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD! Worship that? Never.
-Tony Montana, Scarface
Pitch Black
Riddick: I absolutely believe in God... and I absolutely hate the fucker.
Halloween
Dr. Sam Loomis: I met him, fifteen years ago. I was told there was nothing left. No reason, no conscience, no understanding; even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, good or evil, right or wrong. I met this six-year-old child, with this blind, pale, emotionless face and, the blackest eyes... the DEVIL'S eyes! I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up for I realized what was living behind that boy's eyes was purely and simply... EVIL!
Aliens
Apone:All right, people, what are you waiting for? Breakfast in bed? Another glorious day in the corps! A day in the Marine Corps is like a day on the farm. Every meal's a banquet! Every paycheck a fortune! Every formation a parade! I LOVE the corps!
Dune
Paul:I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when my fear is gone I will turn and face fears path, and only I will remain.
Star Trek: First Contact
Worf:Perhaps today IS a good day to die!
Riddick: I absolutely believe in God... and I absolutely hate the fucker.
Halloween
Dr. Sam Loomis: I met him, fifteen years ago. I was told there was nothing left. No reason, no conscience, no understanding; even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, good or evil, right or wrong. I met this six-year-old child, with this blind, pale, emotionless face and, the blackest eyes... the DEVIL'S eyes! I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up for I realized what was living behind that boy's eyes was purely and simply... EVIL!
Aliens
Apone:All right, people, what are you waiting for? Breakfast in bed? Another glorious day in the corps! A day in the Marine Corps is like a day on the farm. Every meal's a banquet! Every paycheck a fortune! Every formation a parade! I LOVE the corps!
Dune
Paul:I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when my fear is gone I will turn and face fears path, and only I will remain.
Star Trek: First Contact
Worf:Perhaps today IS a good day to die!
-
Salvation122
- Grand Marshall of the Imperium
- Posts: 3776
- Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2002 7:20 pm
- Location: Memphis, TN
I need to get my movies straightened out, but here's a preliminary list, in no particular order:
1. "Our friend T-bird won't be joining us this evening on account of a slight case of death."
- Top Dollar (Michael Winslow), The Crow. There's a lot of quotes I like here, but this one comes out on top.
2. "And the Lord spoke, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.""
- Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Not a lot of quotes that you can commit to your life's philosophy, but great fun nonetheless.
3. "All fellow members of the Roman senate hear me. Shall we continue to build palace after palace for the rich? Or shall we aspire to a more noble purpose and build decent housing for the poor? How does the senate vote?"
"FUCK THE POOR!"
- History of the World, Part 1.
4. "Fucking, what the fucking fuck! Who the fuck fucked this fucking...how did you two fucking fucks...Fuck?!"
"Well, it certainly illustrates the diversity of the word."
- Boondock Saints.
5. (Lemme look this one up...)
1. "Our friend T-bird won't be joining us this evening on account of a slight case of death."
- Top Dollar (Michael Winslow), The Crow. There's a lot of quotes I like here, but this one comes out on top.
2. "And the Lord spoke, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.""
- Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Not a lot of quotes that you can commit to your life's philosophy, but great fun nonetheless.
3. "All fellow members of the Roman senate hear me. Shall we continue to build palace after palace for the rich? Or shall we aspire to a more noble purpose and build decent housing for the poor? How does the senate vote?"
"FUCK THE POOR!"
- History of the World, Part 1.
4. "Fucking, what the fucking fuck! Who the fuck fucked this fucking...how did you two fucking fucks...Fuck?!"
"Well, it certainly illustrates the diversity of the word."
- Boondock Saints.
5. (Lemme look this one up...)
"There is surely nothing other than the single purpose of the present moment. A man's whole life is a succession of moment after moment. If one fully understands the present moment, there will be nothing else to do, and nothing left to pursue." - Yamamoto Tsunetomo
Another great quote from that movie:DV8 wrote:Or, better yet, "John Milton, The Devil's Advocate"Salvation122 wrote:
- Who are you carrying all those bricks for anyway? God? Is that it...God? Well I tell ya, let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man... instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does he do, I swear for his own amusement, his own private, cosmic, gag-reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, but don't swallow. And while you're jumping from one foot to the next, what is he doing? He's laughing his sick fucking ass off. He's a tight ass, He's a sadist. HE'S AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD! Worship that? Never.
-Tony Montana, Scarface
"Oh! I have so many names..."
[i]"Satan?"[/i]
"Call me dad."
-
JohnnyRico
- Wuffle Student
- Posts: 1254
- Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2002 1:11 pm
- Location: Hell on Earth, in the Greatest state of the Union
- Contact:
A Russian gangster comes into the bar]
Murphy MacManus: So you're Chekov, huh? Well, this here's McCoy. Find a Spock, we got us an away team.
[Picking out weapons and gear]
Connor Mac Manus: You know what we need? Some rope.
Murphy MacManus: What are you, insane?
Connor Mac Manus: No, I'm serious. Charlie Bronson's always got a rope. In the movies, they've always got rope and they always end up using it.
Murphy MacManus: That's stupid. Name one fucking thing you're gonna need a rope for.
Connor Mac Manus: It's not what they need it for, they just always need it.
Murphy MacManus: What's this "they" shit? This isn't a movie.
[Murphy picks up a huge commando knife]
Connor Mac Manus: Oh, is that right, Rambo?
Murphy MacManus: All right, get your stupid fucking rope.
Yakavetta: The 90's are killing me. I shouldn't have done that. You're not supposed to tell a guy you're gonna kill him no more. I got to tiptoe through the tulips with these assholes. Taking all the fun out of the job.
[After Rocco accidentally turns a cat into a splatter on the wall]
Murphy: I can't believe that just fucking happened!
Rocco: Is it dead?
Rocco: Shut your fat ass Rayve! I can't go and buy a pack of smokes without running into nine guys you fucked!
((All above quotes came from Boondock Saints.))
Murphy MacManus: So you're Chekov, huh? Well, this here's McCoy. Find a Spock, we got us an away team.
[Picking out weapons and gear]
Connor Mac Manus: You know what we need? Some rope.
Murphy MacManus: What are you, insane?
Connor Mac Manus: No, I'm serious. Charlie Bronson's always got a rope. In the movies, they've always got rope and they always end up using it.
Murphy MacManus: That's stupid. Name one fucking thing you're gonna need a rope for.
Connor Mac Manus: It's not what they need it for, they just always need it.
Murphy MacManus: What's this "they" shit? This isn't a movie.
[Murphy picks up a huge commando knife]
Connor Mac Manus: Oh, is that right, Rambo?
Murphy MacManus: All right, get your stupid fucking rope.
Yakavetta: The 90's are killing me. I shouldn't have done that. You're not supposed to tell a guy you're gonna kill him no more. I got to tiptoe through the tulips with these assholes. Taking all the fun out of the job.
[After Rocco accidentally turns a cat into a splatter on the wall]
Murphy: I can't believe that just fucking happened!
Rocco: Is it dead?
Rocco: Shut your fat ass Rayve! I can't go and buy a pack of smokes without running into nine guys you fucked!
((All above quotes came from Boondock Saints.))
"I have a conundrum for you. A riddle if you will. What's the difference between you, and malard with a cold? I don't remember how it ends, but your mothers a whore." -"Sean Connery" Celebrity Jeopardy- SNL
-
laughing Monkey
- Bulldrek Junkie
- Posts: 520
- Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2003 10:13 pm
- Location: LITH, IL
- Contact:
1. Tyler Durden: You are not your job. You are not the money in your bank account. You are not the car you drive. You are not how much money is in your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. -Fight Club
2. Renton: Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit crushing game shows, stuffing junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself. Choose a future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? - Trainspotting
3. Carlos: What, were they psychos, or...?
Seth: Did they look like psychos? Is that what they looked like? They were vampires. Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them, I don't give a fuck how crazy they are. - From Dusk till Dawn
4. Doc: You know what they say: People in glass houses sink sh... sh... sh... ships.
Rocco: I got to buy you a proverb book or something, because this mix 'n' match shit's got to go.
Doc: What?
Connor MacManus: Well, a penny saved is worth two in the bush, is'nt it?
Murphy MacManus: And don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen.
- Boondock Saints
5. Rocco: Fucking... What the fuck. Who the fuck fucked this fucking... How did you two fucking fucks... FUCK.
Connor MacManus: Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.
-Boondock Saints
2. Renton: Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit crushing game shows, stuffing junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself. Choose a future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? - Trainspotting
3. Carlos: What, were they psychos, or...?
Seth: Did they look like psychos? Is that what they looked like? They were vampires. Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them, I don't give a fuck how crazy they are. - From Dusk till Dawn
4. Doc: You know what they say: People in glass houses sink sh... sh... sh... ships.
Rocco: I got to buy you a proverb book or something, because this mix 'n' match shit's got to go.
Doc: What?
Connor MacManus: Well, a penny saved is worth two in the bush, is'nt it?
Murphy MacManus: And don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen.
- Boondock Saints
5. Rocco: Fucking... What the fuck. Who the fuck fucked this fucking... How did you two fucking fucks... FUCK.
Connor MacManus: Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.
-Boondock Saints
_ The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?</hr>
-
MissTeja
- Wuffle Grand Master
- Posts: 1959
- Joined: Fri Nov 22, 2002 3:25 am
- Location: Grand Rapids
- Contact:
"Remember this: the people you're trying to step on, we're everyone you depend on. We're the people who do your laundry and cook your food and serve your dinner. We make your bed. We guard you while you're asleep. We drive the ambulances. We direct your call. We are cooks and taxi drivers and we know everything about you. We process your insurance claims and credit card charges. We control every part of your life. We are the middle children of history, raised by television to believe that someday we'll be millionaires and movie stars and rock stars, but we won't. And we're just learning this fact. So don't fuck with us." -Fight Club
To the entire world, you may be one single person, but to one person, you may be the entire world.
"...phased plasma particle accelerator; fry half a city with this puppy, We've got nukes, we've got knives, sharp sticks, sonic electronic ball breakers..."
~Hudson (Aliens)
~Hudson (Aliens)
--
Steve- "...well, you've either had wayyyy too much, or not nearly enough"
[Vralkie]- "There's only one that we can do anything about, so here goes..."
Steve- "...well, you've either had wayyyy too much, or not nearly enough"
[Vralkie]- "There's only one that we can do anything about, so here goes..."
-
Cazmonster
- No-Life Loser
- Posts: 11964
- Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2002 7:28 am
- Contact:
"Contemplate this on the tree of woe... crucify him." Thulsa Doom Conan the Barbarian
"So let it be written, so let it be done." Rameses The Ten Commandments
"If we have to give these bastards our lives, we give them hell before we do!" Mifune Matrix Revolutions
"So let it be written, so let it be done." Rameses The Ten Commandments
"If we have to give these bastards our lives, we give them hell before we do!" Mifune Matrix Revolutions
<a href="http://heftywrenches.wordpress.com">Agent Zero Speaks!</a>
-
lordhellion
- Wuffle Grand Master
- Posts: 1861
- Joined: Mon Nov 04, 2002 11:11 pm
- Location: An underpass on I-5
- Contact:
Tombstone
-You ever seen anything like that?
-Hell, I never even heard of anything like that.
Cannibal: The Musical
We are...Indians! See! We have tee-pees!
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
-Can I take something out for you?
-No, no. I'm just shopping for my wife...God rest her soul.
-Oh, I so sorry!
-Oh, no. She's not dead. We're divorced...she's history. An obviously she doesn't wear underwear, and there's still plenty of shopping days left until aldultry, adulthood, that is to say--Christmas. Yule. Yule log. Not a log, I don't have a log, at least not in the sense that you thought I said I did.
And possibly the greatest movie quote of all time (although over-referneced, I grant you)
Die Hard
Yippie-ki-yi-yay, motherfucker.
-You ever seen anything like that?
-Hell, I never even heard of anything like that.
Cannibal: The Musical
We are...Indians! See! We have tee-pees!
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
-Can I take something out for you?
-No, no. I'm just shopping for my wife...God rest her soul.
-Oh, I so sorry!
-Oh, no. She's not dead. We're divorced...she's history. An obviously she doesn't wear underwear, and there's still plenty of shopping days left until aldultry, adulthood, that is to say--Christmas. Yule. Yule log. Not a log, I don't have a log, at least not in the sense that you thought I said I did.
And possibly the greatest movie quote of all time (although over-referneced, I grant you)
Die Hard
Yippie-ki-yi-yay, motherfucker.
_No one was ever put in a history book for being a great conformist.
-
Matt McS
- Wuffle Initiate
- Posts: 1030
- Joined: Mon Feb 03, 2003 4:10 pm
- Location: Riverside, New Jersey
"I've got an impression for you... CAW CAW BANG FUCK I'M DEAD!!!"
- Top Dollar, The Crow
Ganger: "I can't tell you. They'll kill me!"
Porter: "What do you think I'm going to do? Worry about me now."
- Payback
- Top Dollar, The Crow
Ganger: "I can't tell you. They'll kill me!"
Porter: "What do you think I'm going to do? Worry about me now."
- Payback
"If masturbating was supposed to be cute, pink bunnies would do it in meadows and they'd ejaculate rainbows and flower petals." - Aubrey
-
Bishop
- Grand Marshall of the Imperium
- Posts: 3661
- Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2002 7:54 pm
- Location: Sheridan, Michigan.
"Infidel defilers. They shall all drown in lakes of blood. Now they will know why they are afraid of the dark. Now they will know why they fear the night." ~Thulsa Doom, Conan the Barbarian.
"500 fights, that's the number I figured when I was a kid. 500 street fights and you could consider yourself a legitimate tough guy. You need them for experience. To develop leather skin. So I got started. Of course along the way you stop thinking about being tough and all that. It stops being the point. You get past the silliness of it all. But then, after, you realize that's what you are." Taylor Reese, Knockaround Guys.
*after cutting a seemingly invincible alien to pieces in hand to hand combat with a knife*
"Didn't know who he was fuckin' with". Riddick, Pitch Black.
I know I know I know this is long, but I couldnt' narrow it to just one. So Deal.
Various Characters, "The Ref".
[Gus on the phone with a bartender.]
Gus: Look, just see if there's a Murray there.
Bartender: [To the patrons.] Is there a Murray here?
[Into the phone.]
Bartender: I don't think so.
Gus: See if there's a waste of fucking life named Murray, try that.
Bartender: [To the patrons.] Is there a fucking waste of life named Murray here?
Murray: Gussy? Yeah that's me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Caroline: How can we both be in the marriage and I'm miserable and you're content?
Lloyd: Luck?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gus: From now on, the only person who gets to yell is me. Why? Because I have a gun. People with guns get to do whatever they want. Married people without guns - for instance - you - DO NOT get to yell. Why? NO GUNS! No guns, no yelling. See? Simple little equation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lloyd: You know, you and my wife have a lot in common. You both think you have some right to life working out the way you want it to, and when it doesn't, you get to act the way you want. The only trouble with that is someone has to be responsible. I'd love to run around and take classes and play with my inner-self! I'd love the freedom to be some pissed-off criminal with no responsibilities, except I don't have the time! But you don't see me with a gun. And you don't see me sleeping with someone else. You think my life turned out the way I wanted because I live in this house? You think every morning I wake up, look in the mirror and say "Gee I'm glad I'm me and not some 19-year-old billionaire rockstar with the body of an athelete and a 24-hour erection!" No I don't! So just excuse the shit out of me!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Caroline: I had this dream...
Lloyd: Do we have to do dreams?
Caroline: I'm in this restaurant, and the waiter brings me my entree. It was a salad. It was Lloyd's head on a plate of spinach with his penis sticking out of his ear. And I said, "I didn't order this." And the waiter said, "Oh you must try it, it's a delicacy. But don't eat the penis, it's just garnish."
Dr. Wong: Lloyd, what do you think about the dream?
Lloyd: I think she should stop telling it at dinner parties to all our friends.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gus: You know what this family needs? A mute.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rose: You're a "Wong"?
Gus: Well, my mother was Irish.
Rose: And your father?
Gus: Wasn't.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lloyd: You know what I'm going to get you next Christmas, Mom? A big wooden cross, so that every time you feel unappreciated for your sacrifices, you can climb on up and nail yourself to it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gus: You know what, lady? I'd like to tie you to the back of a fucking truck.
Rose: You don't have the balls.
[Gus leaps up from his chair toward Rose and is intercepted by Lloyd]
Lloyd: Don't do it; it's not worth it.
Gus: I fucking hate her, Lloyd!
Lloyd: I know, I know.
Gus: What is the matter with you? I thought Mothers were sweet and nice a-a-and Patient. Your husband ain't dead, lady. He's hiding.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gus: Connecticut is the fifth ring of hell.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gus: I hijacked my fucking parents.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lloyd: Caroline, the day you see anything through to the end, I'll stick my own dick in my ear.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lloyd: I suppose you'll use this drama as a reason to have another affair. I feel sorry for the next delivery man that comes to this house!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
John Chasseur: Mom, the TV's broken. What are we gonna do all night?
Connie Chasseur: Celebrate the birth of Christ!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gus: I have a gun, it's loaded, shut up.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Lloyd, after being interrupted by his family, is whalloping the Christmas tree with a fireplace poker.]
Lloyd: Excuse me! Excuse me! EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME!
[stunned silence by all]
Lloyd: If you don't mind, the "corpse" *STILL* has the floor!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gus: Look kid... what I do, running around, stealing stuff, may sound great when you're fourteen years old, but it sucks just a little bit when you're thirty-five. No house. No family. I got a partner who's fifty... he still can't understand why they took "Happy Days" off the air.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rose: Sounds too sweet!
Caroline: Then don't eat it! (Throws pie down on the table)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gus: Sit down Connie.
Connie Chasseur: Excuse me, but I am not one of your patients.
Gus: You're gonna be somebody's patient if you don't get your ass back down in that chair.
John Chasseur: Wow!
Gus: I swear to God, you hit that kid one more time and I will stik that pig's head right up your ass!
Connie Chasseur: Gary, are you gonna let him talk to me like that?
Gary Chasseur: Well, he is a doctor.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gus: The Army? What am I, Oswald, here?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Caroline: You're the one who suffocated him with limitations. Our son's a very sensative, creative...
Lloyd: Juvenile delinquent.
Caroline: ...boy. He has the kind of imagination...
Lloyd: That the mafia gives scholarships for.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lloyd: Caroline? Why don't you eat something?
Caroline: [Drunk] Loyd? Why don't you eat me?
Connie Chasseur: Kids, go to into the den. This not a conversation for children.
Rose Chasseur: It is not an apprioprate conversation for adults either.
Gus: Where are you going?
Rose Chasseur: To the living room. To leave you to your quilting. I be there to open presents. If my plans change I will contact you.
Lloyd: Why don't we all go into the living room, we'll have our drink and deserts in there.
Caroline: [To Loyd] Phoney Bastard!
Gus: Caroline, shut up.
Connie Chasseur: Let's all go to the den...
Gus: Sit down Connie sit.
Connie Chasseur: Excuse me, I am not one of you patients.
Gus: You'll be someones patient if you don't sit your as in that chair.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gus: Caroline and Loyd, will get the coffee and deserts then we'll be opening presents.
Connie Chasseur: We can't open presents til midnight.
Gus: Why not?
Connie Chasseur: Because it's not Christmas until midnight!
Gus: We'll be changing the rules, a little bit. We are opening the presents now. Not later, now. Why? We're adults, and we can open our presents. WHENEVER WE WANT!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lloyd: Coffee, Mom?
Rose Chasseur: Is it real coffee? Or some Scandinavian Christmas potion?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Caroline: He sounded upset.
Gus: He should be. He's going to die a horrible fucking death.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lloyd: What's your name?
Gus: Fuck you, that's my name.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Murray: Gus?
Gus: What?
Murray: When are we gonna open presents?
Gus: Presents? Is that what you said? Presents? We'll open them when we get there. No, in fact, I'll save you the trouble. Your present is a giant fucking can. And you're gonna crawl in it. Then I'm gonna get 2 pounds of gunpowder and I'm gonna shoot you right out of Jersey! And then I'm gonna drive to Jersey, and pick up all the parts of your body and put them in a plastic bag. Then I'm gonna drive to my house with you in the bag and toss you into the fireplace. I'm gonna get my glass of whiskey and watch the Charlie Brown special with your ashes burning and warming MY HOUSE! AGH!
Murray: Gus?
Gus: What?
Murray: What's that smell?
Gus: Shut up.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Lt. Huff smells a mask]
Lt. Huff: It's urine.
Lt. Steve Milford: Oh thank God. Phil thought it might be semen.
Lt. Huff: Phil needs to talk to a therapist.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lloyd: She's my mother.
Gus: She's a fucking Bitch, Lloyd.
Lloyd: You're not supposed to take sides.
Caroline: No, no, no, thank you so much Gus. Finally somebody else sees.
Gus: You'd have to be blind not to see.
Like I said before, sorry.
"500 fights, that's the number I figured when I was a kid. 500 street fights and you could consider yourself a legitimate tough guy. You need them for experience. To develop leather skin. So I got started. Of course along the way you stop thinking about being tough and all that. It stops being the point. You get past the silliness of it all. But then, after, you realize that's what you are." Taylor Reese, Knockaround Guys.
*after cutting a seemingly invincible alien to pieces in hand to hand combat with a knife*
"Didn't know who he was fuckin' with". Riddick, Pitch Black.
I know I know I know this is long, but I couldnt' narrow it to just one. So Deal.
Various Characters, "The Ref".
[Gus on the phone with a bartender.]
Gus: Look, just see if there's a Murray there.
Bartender: [To the patrons.] Is there a Murray here?
[Into the phone.]
Bartender: I don't think so.
Gus: See if there's a waste of fucking life named Murray, try that.
Bartender: [To the patrons.] Is there a fucking waste of life named Murray here?
Murray: Gussy? Yeah that's me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Caroline: How can we both be in the marriage and I'm miserable and you're content?
Lloyd: Luck?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gus: From now on, the only person who gets to yell is me. Why? Because I have a gun. People with guns get to do whatever they want. Married people without guns - for instance - you - DO NOT get to yell. Why? NO GUNS! No guns, no yelling. See? Simple little equation.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lloyd: You know, you and my wife have a lot in common. You both think you have some right to life working out the way you want it to, and when it doesn't, you get to act the way you want. The only trouble with that is someone has to be responsible. I'd love to run around and take classes and play with my inner-self! I'd love the freedom to be some pissed-off criminal with no responsibilities, except I don't have the time! But you don't see me with a gun. And you don't see me sleeping with someone else. You think my life turned out the way I wanted because I live in this house? You think every morning I wake up, look in the mirror and say "Gee I'm glad I'm me and not some 19-year-old billionaire rockstar with the body of an athelete and a 24-hour erection!" No I don't! So just excuse the shit out of me!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Caroline: I had this dream...
Lloyd: Do we have to do dreams?
Caroline: I'm in this restaurant, and the waiter brings me my entree. It was a salad. It was Lloyd's head on a plate of spinach with his penis sticking out of his ear. And I said, "I didn't order this." And the waiter said, "Oh you must try it, it's a delicacy. But don't eat the penis, it's just garnish."
Dr. Wong: Lloyd, what do you think about the dream?
Lloyd: I think she should stop telling it at dinner parties to all our friends.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gus: You know what this family needs? A mute.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rose: You're a "Wong"?
Gus: Well, my mother was Irish.
Rose: And your father?
Gus: Wasn't.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lloyd: You know what I'm going to get you next Christmas, Mom? A big wooden cross, so that every time you feel unappreciated for your sacrifices, you can climb on up and nail yourself to it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gus: You know what, lady? I'd like to tie you to the back of a fucking truck.
Rose: You don't have the balls.
[Gus leaps up from his chair toward Rose and is intercepted by Lloyd]
Lloyd: Don't do it; it's not worth it.
Gus: I fucking hate her, Lloyd!
Lloyd: I know, I know.
Gus: What is the matter with you? I thought Mothers were sweet and nice a-a-and Patient. Your husband ain't dead, lady. He's hiding.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gus: Connecticut is the fifth ring of hell.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gus: I hijacked my fucking parents.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lloyd: Caroline, the day you see anything through to the end, I'll stick my own dick in my ear.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lloyd: I suppose you'll use this drama as a reason to have another affair. I feel sorry for the next delivery man that comes to this house!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
John Chasseur: Mom, the TV's broken. What are we gonna do all night?
Connie Chasseur: Celebrate the birth of Christ!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gus: I have a gun, it's loaded, shut up.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Lloyd, after being interrupted by his family, is whalloping the Christmas tree with a fireplace poker.]
Lloyd: Excuse me! Excuse me! EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME!
[stunned silence by all]
Lloyd: If you don't mind, the "corpse" *STILL* has the floor!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gus: Look kid... what I do, running around, stealing stuff, may sound great when you're fourteen years old, but it sucks just a little bit when you're thirty-five. No house. No family. I got a partner who's fifty... he still can't understand why they took "Happy Days" off the air.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rose: Sounds too sweet!
Caroline: Then don't eat it! (Throws pie down on the table)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gus: Sit down Connie.
Connie Chasseur: Excuse me, but I am not one of your patients.
Gus: You're gonna be somebody's patient if you don't get your ass back down in that chair.
John Chasseur: Wow!
Gus: I swear to God, you hit that kid one more time and I will stik that pig's head right up your ass!
Connie Chasseur: Gary, are you gonna let him talk to me like that?
Gary Chasseur: Well, he is a doctor.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gus: The Army? What am I, Oswald, here?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Caroline: You're the one who suffocated him with limitations. Our son's a very sensative, creative...
Lloyd: Juvenile delinquent.
Caroline: ...boy. He has the kind of imagination...
Lloyd: That the mafia gives scholarships for.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lloyd: Caroline? Why don't you eat something?
Caroline: [Drunk] Loyd? Why don't you eat me?
Connie Chasseur: Kids, go to into the den. This not a conversation for children.
Rose Chasseur: It is not an apprioprate conversation for adults either.
Gus: Where are you going?
Rose Chasseur: To the living room. To leave you to your quilting. I be there to open presents. If my plans change I will contact you.
Lloyd: Why don't we all go into the living room, we'll have our drink and deserts in there.
Caroline: [To Loyd] Phoney Bastard!
Gus: Caroline, shut up.
Connie Chasseur: Let's all go to the den...
Gus: Sit down Connie sit.
Connie Chasseur: Excuse me, I am not one of you patients.
Gus: You'll be someones patient if you don't sit your as in that chair.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gus: Caroline and Loyd, will get the coffee and deserts then we'll be opening presents.
Connie Chasseur: We can't open presents til midnight.
Gus: Why not?
Connie Chasseur: Because it's not Christmas until midnight!
Gus: We'll be changing the rules, a little bit. We are opening the presents now. Not later, now. Why? We're adults, and we can open our presents. WHENEVER WE WANT!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lloyd: Coffee, Mom?
Rose Chasseur: Is it real coffee? Or some Scandinavian Christmas potion?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Caroline: He sounded upset.
Gus: He should be. He's going to die a horrible fucking death.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lloyd: What's your name?
Gus: Fuck you, that's my name.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Murray: Gus?
Gus: What?
Murray: When are we gonna open presents?
Gus: Presents? Is that what you said? Presents? We'll open them when we get there. No, in fact, I'll save you the trouble. Your present is a giant fucking can. And you're gonna crawl in it. Then I'm gonna get 2 pounds of gunpowder and I'm gonna shoot you right out of Jersey! And then I'm gonna drive to Jersey, and pick up all the parts of your body and put them in a plastic bag. Then I'm gonna drive to my house with you in the bag and toss you into the fireplace. I'm gonna get my glass of whiskey and watch the Charlie Brown special with your ashes burning and warming MY HOUSE! AGH!
Murray: Gus?
Gus: What?
Murray: What's that smell?
Gus: Shut up.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Lt. Huff smells a mask]
Lt. Huff: It's urine.
Lt. Steve Milford: Oh thank God. Phil thought it might be semen.
Lt. Huff: Phil needs to talk to a therapist.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lloyd: She's my mother.
Gus: She's a fucking Bitch, Lloyd.
Lloyd: You're not supposed to take sides.
Caroline: No, no, no, thank you so much Gus. Finally somebody else sees.
Gus: You'd have to be blind not to see.
Like I said before, sorry.
Last edited by Bishop on Wed Mar 31, 2004 6:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Pax Romana, Motherfucker.
Breaker of unbreakable things.
Breaker of unbreakable things.
-
lordhellion
- Wuffle Grand Master
- Posts: 1861
- Joined: Mon Nov 04, 2002 11:11 pm
- Location: An underpass on I-5
- Contact:
From Orgazmo:
Lisa: I hope you're happy in the life you've chosen.
Joe Young: Don't quote Dickens in my apartment!
[Joe Young has just zapped Maxxx Orbison several times with the Orgazmorator.]
Ben Chapelski: Dude! He's never gonna wanna have another orgasm again!
Joe Young: One more time for Jesus.
[Joe is introduced to the young actresses he'll be co-starring with.]
Joe Young: Oh... I, I can't say that.
Maxxx Orbison: Say what?
Joe Young: What are they called?
Maxxx Orbison: The Assfuck Twins.
Joe Young: I can't say that. Can we call them something else?
Maxxx Orbison: But they're the Assfuck Twins.
Joe Young: Well I know, but um, couldn't I call them the Naughty Twins or something?
Maxxx Orbison: No, you *couldn't* just call them the Naughty Twins. They're the Assfuck Twins. Why would you call them The Naughty Twins when they get fucked in the ass all the time?
Joe Young: Well, that's pretty naughty.
Lisa: I hope you're happy in the life you've chosen.
Joe Young: Don't quote Dickens in my apartment!
[Joe Young has just zapped Maxxx Orbison several times with the Orgazmorator.]
Ben Chapelski: Dude! He's never gonna wanna have another orgasm again!
Joe Young: One more time for Jesus.
[Joe is introduced to the young actresses he'll be co-starring with.]
Joe Young: Oh... I, I can't say that.
Maxxx Orbison: Say what?
Joe Young: What are they called?
Maxxx Orbison: The Assfuck Twins.
Joe Young: I can't say that. Can we call them something else?
Maxxx Orbison: But they're the Assfuck Twins.
Joe Young: Well I know, but um, couldn't I call them the Naughty Twins or something?
Maxxx Orbison: No, you *couldn't* just call them the Naughty Twins. They're the Assfuck Twins. Why would you call them The Naughty Twins when they get fucked in the ass all the time?
Joe Young: Well, that's pretty naughty.
<hr>The lesson here is that dreams inevitably lead to hideous implosions.
-
Bethyaga
- Knight of the Crimson Assfro
- Posts: 2777
- Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2002 10:39 pm
- Location: Nebraska, USA
- Contact:
Over-referenced doesn't bug me. Hell, one that almost made my list is one of the most over-used and well known quotes of all time:And possibly the greatest movie quote of all time (although over-referneced, I grant you)
Scarlett Rhett, Rhett... Rhett, if you go, where shall I go? What shall I do?
Rhett Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
--Gone with the Wind
That's some cold ass shit. Mad props to Gable.
_Whoever invented that brush that goes next to the toilet is an idiot, cuz that thing hurts.
From Storytelling "Fiction" (one of the most screwed up and disturbing scenes I've ever seen)
Mr. Scott: "Say 'Niggah, fuck me hard.'"
Vi: "I can't."
MS: "Say 'Ni.'"
Vi: "...ni."
MS: "Say 'gah.'"
Vi: "... ger."
MS: "Say Niggah."
Vi: "Nig-ger."
MS: "Say 'Niggah, fuck me hard.'"
Vi: "Nig-ger, fuck me... hard."
MS: "Again."
Vi: *repeats*
*Repeats over and over again for 30-60 seconds.*
It's even more disturbing when you actually see it on film.
I'd recommend Storytelling, but I want to borrow it from my friend again, first.
Mr. Scott: "Say 'Niggah, fuck me hard.'"
Vi: "I can't."
MS: "Say 'Ni.'"
Vi: "...ni."
MS: "Say 'gah.'"
Vi: "... ger."
MS: "Say Niggah."
Vi: "Nig-ger."
MS: "Say 'Niggah, fuck me hard.'"
Vi: "Nig-ger, fuck me... hard."
MS: "Again."
Vi: *repeats*
*Repeats over and over again for 30-60 seconds.*
It's even more disturbing when you actually see it on film.
I'd recommend Storytelling, but I want to borrow it from my friend again, first.
-
MissTeja
- Wuffle Grand Master
- Posts: 1959
- Joined: Fri Nov 22, 2002 3:25 am
- Location: Grand Rapids
- Contact:
Vada: I was born jaundiced. Once I sat on a toilet seat at a truck stop and caught hemorrhoids. And I've learned to live with this chicken bone that's been lodged in my throat for the past three years. So I knew Dad would be devastated when he learned of my latest affliction.
[to father]
Vada: Dad, I don't want to upset you, but my left breast is developing at a significantly faster rate that my right. It can only mean one thing. Cancer. I'm dying.
Harry: Okay, Sweetie, hand me the mayonnaise out of the fridge.
-My Girl, 1991
And another from My Girl, though one of those quotes you have to have seen the film to really get it's effect:
Vada: His face hurts, and where is his glasses? He can't see without his glasses! Put his glasses on!
*sniffle*
[to father]
Vada: Dad, I don't want to upset you, but my left breast is developing at a significantly faster rate that my right. It can only mean one thing. Cancer. I'm dying.
Harry: Okay, Sweetie, hand me the mayonnaise out of the fridge.
-My Girl, 1991
And another from My Girl, though one of those quotes you have to have seen the film to really get it's effect:
Vada: His face hurts, and where is his glasses? He can't see without his glasses! Put his glasses on!
*sniffle*
To the entire world, you may be one single person, but to one person, you may be the entire world.
-
Thorn
- Wuffle Student
- Posts: 1390
- Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2002 11:10 pm
- Location: The Cave, Cheeseland, USA
"That's no moon, that's a space station!" (as referenced in <i>Twister</i> from <i>Star Wars: A New Hope</i>)
"Ohh, what's really going to bake your noodle later on is, would you still have broken it if I hadn't said anything?"
......
"Do you know what that says? It's Latin. It means know thyself. I wanna tell you a little secret, being the one is just like being in love. No one can tell you when you're in love, you just know it, through and through, balls to bones." - The Oracle, <i>The Matrix</i>
"Excuse much. Rude or anything?" - <i>Buffy the Vampire Slayer</i>
Oh argh. There are so many more, I just can't think of them right now.
"Ohh, what's really going to bake your noodle later on is, would you still have broken it if I hadn't said anything?"
......
"Do you know what that says? It's Latin. It means know thyself. I wanna tell you a little secret, being the one is just like being in love. No one can tell you when you're in love, you just know it, through and through, balls to bones." - The Oracle, <i>The Matrix</i>
"Excuse much. Rude or anything?" - <i>Buffy the Vampire Slayer</i>
Oh argh. There are so many more, I just can't think of them right now.
_<font color=red size=2>Just wait until I finish knitting this row.</font>
-
sinsual
- Bondsman of the Crimson Assfro
- Posts: 2192
- Joined: Thu Jun 20, 2002 7:14 am
- Location: Down the rabbit hole...
- Contact:
Aliens
Newt: "The come out at night....mostly"
Hudson: "GAME OVER MAN! GAME OVER!"
Tombstone
Doc: "I'll be your huckleberry..."
Twister
Dr. Melissa Reeves: "I gotta go Julia we got COWS...?"
Dr. Melissa Reeves: "She didn't marry your penis.... Okay, she didn't marry only your penis."
Rabbit: "God, Meg, you've got a lot of beef. Where did you get all this beef?"
Meg Greene: "Did you see my cows out front?"
Rabbit: "No."
Meg Greene: "Oh!"
Dusty: "You slaughter your own cows, Meg, nice."
Aunt Meg: "All right, all right, I'll go. But I'm driving myself."
Rabbit: "Meg, honey, your car's in a tree around the corner."
Aunt Meg: "Ohhhhh!"
D.C Cab
Dell: "Why are women are so uptight? They've got half the money and all the pussy"
Eddie Izzard parting quote...
Eddie: Thank you for flying Church of England, cake or death?
fixed name on quote
Newt: "The come out at night....mostly"
Hudson: "GAME OVER MAN! GAME OVER!"
Tombstone
Doc: "I'll be your huckleberry..."
Twister
Dr. Melissa Reeves: "I gotta go Julia we got COWS...?"
Dr. Melissa Reeves: "She didn't marry your penis.... Okay, she didn't marry only your penis."
Rabbit: "God, Meg, you've got a lot of beef. Where did you get all this beef?"
Meg Greene: "Did you see my cows out front?"
Rabbit: "No."
Meg Greene: "Oh!"
Dusty: "You slaughter your own cows, Meg, nice."
Aunt Meg: "All right, all right, I'll go. But I'm driving myself."
Rabbit: "Meg, honey, your car's in a tree around the corner."
Aunt Meg: "Ohhhhh!"
D.C Cab
Dell: "Why are women are so uptight? They've got half the money and all the pussy"
Eddie Izzard parting quote...
Eddie: Thank you for flying Church of England, cake or death?
fixed name on quote
Last edited by sinsual on Sat Apr 03, 2004 10:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
www.evieshope.com
No infant should have Eye Cancer...
No infant should have Eye Cancer...
-
Rapid Fire
- Tasty Human
- Posts: 37
- Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2002 6:04 am
Movie quotes
"Death is a primitive concept. I prefer to think of them as battling evil...in another dimension!" - Grig, The Last Starfighter
"Can you fly, motherfucker? CAN YOU FLY?!?!?" - Valentine, Tremors
"From Hell's heart, I stab at thee. For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee." - Khan, Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan
"You have ten seconds to comply." - ED-209, Robocop
"I just want you to know that even though you tried to terminate me, revenge is not a idea we promote on my planet."
"Oh...that's good."
"But we're not ON my planet, ARE we?" - Buzz Lightyear and Sheriff Woody, Toy Story
"Can you fly, motherfucker? CAN YOU FLY?!?!?" - Valentine, Tremors
"From Hell's heart, I stab at thee. For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee." - Khan, Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan
"You have ten seconds to comply." - ED-209, Robocop
"I just want you to know that even though you tried to terminate me, revenge is not a idea we promote on my planet."
"Oh...that's good."
"But we're not ON my planet, ARE we?" - Buzz Lightyear and Sheriff Woody, Toy Story
"Good, bad. I'm the guy with the gun." - Ash, Army Of Darkness
-
Bethyaga
- Knight of the Crimson Assfro
- Posts: 2777
- Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2002 10:39 pm
- Location: Nebraska, USA
- Contact:
Bitches, leave! Clarence Boddiker (Kurtwood Smith) RoboCop
Chris Knight (Val Kilmer): Have you ever seen a body like this before in your life?
David Decker (Ed Lauter): She happens to be my daughter.
Chris Knight: Oh. Then I guess you have.
Real Genius
Mitch (Gabriel Jarret): The weirdest thing just happened to me.
Chris Knight: Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid, with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?
Mitch: No...
Chris Knight: Why, am I the only one who has that dream?
Real Genius
Chris Knight: So, if there's anything I can do for you, or, more to the point, to you, you just let me know.
Susan (Deborah Foreman): Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?
Chris Knight: Not right now.
Susan: A girl's gotta have her standards.
Real Genius
No... wire... hangers! What's wire hangers doing in this closet when I told you: no wire hangers EVER? I work and work 'till I'm half-dead, and I hear people saying, "She's getting old." And what do I get? A daughter... who cares as much about the beautiful dresses I give her... as she cares about me! What's wire hangers doing in this closet? Answer me! I buy you beautiful dresses, and you treat them like they were some dishrag. You do! Three hundred dollar dress on a wire hanger! We'll see how many you've got if they're hidden somewhere. We'll see... we'll see. Get out of that bed! All of this is coming out! Out! Out! Out! Out! Out! Out! You've got any more? We're gonna see how many wire hangers you've got in your closet. Wire hangers, why? Why? Christina, get out of that bed! Get out of that bed! You live in the most beautiful house in Brentwood and you don't care if your clothes are stretched out from wire hangers. And your room looks like some two-dollar-a-week furnished room in some two-bit back street town in Okalahoma! Get up! Get up! Clean up this mess!
Joan Crawford (Faye Dunaway) Mommie Dearest
Chris Knight (Val Kilmer): Have you ever seen a body like this before in your life?
David Decker (Ed Lauter): She happens to be my daughter.
Chris Knight: Oh. Then I guess you have.
Real Genius
Mitch (Gabriel Jarret): The weirdest thing just happened to me.
Chris Knight: Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid, with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?
Mitch: No...
Chris Knight: Why, am I the only one who has that dream?
Real Genius
Chris Knight: So, if there's anything I can do for you, or, more to the point, to you, you just let me know.
Susan (Deborah Foreman): Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?
Chris Knight: Not right now.
Susan: A girl's gotta have her standards.
Real Genius
No... wire... hangers! What's wire hangers doing in this closet when I told you: no wire hangers EVER? I work and work 'till I'm half-dead, and I hear people saying, "She's getting old." And what do I get? A daughter... who cares as much about the beautiful dresses I give her... as she cares about me! What's wire hangers doing in this closet? Answer me! I buy you beautiful dresses, and you treat them like they were some dishrag. You do! Three hundred dollar dress on a wire hanger! We'll see how many you've got if they're hidden somewhere. We'll see... we'll see. Get out of that bed! All of this is coming out! Out! Out! Out! Out! Out! Out! You've got any more? We're gonna see how many wire hangers you've got in your closet. Wire hangers, why? Why? Christina, get out of that bed! Get out of that bed! You live in the most beautiful house in Brentwood and you don't care if your clothes are stretched out from wire hangers. And your room looks like some two-dollar-a-week furnished room in some two-bit back street town in Okalahoma! Get up! Get up! Clean up this mess!
Joan Crawford (Faye Dunaway) Mommie Dearest
_Whoever invented that brush that goes next to the toilet is an idiot, cuz that thing hurts.
Bethyaga wrote:Chris Knight (Val Kilmer): Have you ever seen a body like this before in your life?
David Decker (Ed Lauter): She happens to be my daughter.
Chris Knight: Oh. Then I guess you have.
Real Genius
<font color=#5c7898>A high I.Q. is like a jeep. You'll still get stuck; you'll just be farther from help when you do.
</font>
</font>
You know what's really weird for me? When I'm watching a movie, a certain phrase comes up, and I end up juxtopositioning it with the exact same phrase and absolutely inapprorpriate response from another movie.
For example, I'm watching Dune (the movie, not the mini-series) and I'm at the part where the Reverend Mother pulls out "the box" to test Paul Atreides. And he asks, "What's in the box?"
My brain flashes the Reverend Mother with Gedde Watanabe's voice renacting the response from the "Wheel of Fish" scene from UHF:
"Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Stupid! You so stupid!"
Yeah, I'm a bit nuts.
For example, I'm watching Dune (the movie, not the mini-series) and I'm at the part where the Reverend Mother pulls out "the box" to test Paul Atreides. And he asks, "What's in the box?"
My brain flashes the Reverend Mother with Gedde Watanabe's voice renacting the response from the "Wheel of Fish" scene from UHF:
"Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Stupid! You so stupid!"
Yeah, I'm a bit nuts.
"There is surely nothing other than the single purpose of the present moment. A man's whole life is a succession of moment after moment. If one fully understands the present moment, there will be nothing else to do, and nothing left to pursue." - Yamamoto Tsunetomo
-
Thunderchild
- Bulldrekker
- Posts: 233
- Joined: Tue Oct 07, 2003 8:08 am
- Location: A blighted waste
- Contact:
I would like to put in my favortite futurama quotes... but i think that Nobody is interested in reading the entire scrips of seasons 1 - 5 so i thought i would limit it to just one per character.
FRY -
It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for the winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. And also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?
BENDER -
[while sleeping] Hey, sexy mama... Wanna kill all humans?
ok, 2 for bender cause i couldnt decide
Bender: [singing] Fry crack corn, and I don't care / Leela crack corn, I still don't care / Bender crack corn, and he is great / Take that, you stupid corn!
HERMES -
"MY MANWICH!"
LEELA -
Leela: Zapp?
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Leela, I didn't know where else to turn. You're the only woman who's ever loved me.
Leela: I never loved you.
Captain Zapp Brannigan: I mean physically.
Leela: What do you want?
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Just let me work for a little food. Perhaps I could paint a fence, or service you sexually, or mop the floor.
Leela: You don't know how to do ANY of those things.
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Kif might.
FARNSWORTH -
"What? After I spent MONTHS slaving over a hot monkey brain? "
ZOIDBERG -
Dr. Zoidberg: Now open that mouth and lets have a look at that brain.
[Fry opens his mouth]
Dr. Zoidberg: No, not that mouth, the other mouth.
Fry: I only have one mouth.
Dr. Zoidberg: Really...
Fry: Uh... could I see a HUMAN doctor?
Dr. Zoidberg: Now listen young lady, I know everything there is about humans.
FRY -
It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for the winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. And also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?
BENDER -
[while sleeping] Hey, sexy mama... Wanna kill all humans?
ok, 2 for bender cause i couldnt decide
Bender: [singing] Fry crack corn, and I don't care / Leela crack corn, I still don't care / Bender crack corn, and he is great / Take that, you stupid corn!
HERMES -
"MY MANWICH!"
LEELA -
Leela: Zapp?
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Leela, I didn't know where else to turn. You're the only woman who's ever loved me.
Leela: I never loved you.
Captain Zapp Brannigan: I mean physically.
Leela: What do you want?
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Just let me work for a little food. Perhaps I could paint a fence, or service you sexually, or mop the floor.
Leela: You don't know how to do ANY of those things.
Captain Zapp Brannigan: Kif might.
FARNSWORTH -
"What? After I spent MONTHS slaving over a hot monkey brain? "
ZOIDBERG -
Dr. Zoidberg: Now open that mouth and lets have a look at that brain.
[Fry opens his mouth]
Dr. Zoidberg: No, not that mouth, the other mouth.
Fry: I only have one mouth.
Dr. Zoidberg: Really...
Fry: Uh... could I see a HUMAN doctor?
Dr. Zoidberg: Now listen young lady, I know everything there is about humans.
-
Sock_Monkey
- Bulldrek Pusher
- Posts: 761
- Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2002 7:59 pm
- Location: Under your bed.
You tell 'em I'm coming Ike! And Hell's coming with me! - Wyatt Earp (Kurt Russell)
--Tombstone
Few people understand the psycology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop heart. Make the bastard chase you! He will follow. - Raoul Duke (Johnny Depp)
--Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
We can't stop here! This is bat country! - Raoul Duke (Johnny Depp)
--Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
People, we've got a blind date with destiny.... And it looks like she's ordered the lobster! - The Shoveler (William H. Macy)
--Mystery Men
I swear fealty to the courage in your veins, so strong it is, that its source must be Uther Pendragon. I doubt you no more. Sir Uryens (Kieth Buckley)
--Excalibur
Commander tear this ship apart until you've found those plans and bring me the passengers I want them alive! - Darth Vader (Voiced by James Earl Jones)
--Star Wars
You mean there's more to life then being really, really, really, ridiculously good looking? - Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller)
--Zoolander
I see your shwartz is as big as mine. Now that you have it do you know how to use it? - Dark Helmet (Rick Moranis)
--Space Balls
Bob Mackenzie (Rick Moranis): Did you see her looking at me?
Doug Mackenzie (Dave Thomas): Yeah, cuz she thought you were some kind of freak. Now lets go!
--Strange Brew
You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash your piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you and shove it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'till it goes click. - Jesus (John Turturro)
--The Big Lebowski
Robert Dupea (Jack Nicholson): So you don't serve toast?
Waitress (Lorna Thayer): No.
Dupea:But the club house sandwich comes on toasted bread right?
Waitress: Yes.
Dupea: Well then I I would like to order a club house sandwich, but I want you to hold the mayo, hold the lettuce, hold the tomato, hold the cheese and hold the ham. You got that?
Waitress: Yes.
Dupea: Now here's what else I want you to do. I want you to hold the chicken.
Waitress: You want me to hold the chicken?!
Dupea: Yeah. I want you to hold it between your legs.
--Five Easy Pieces
This town needs an enema! -The Joker (Jack Nichlson)
--Batman
Sell crazy somewhere else lady, We're all stocked up here! -Melvin Udall (Jack Nicholson)
--As Good As It Gets
--Tombstone
Few people understand the psycology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop heart. Make the bastard chase you! He will follow. - Raoul Duke (Johnny Depp)
--Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
We can't stop here! This is bat country! - Raoul Duke (Johnny Depp)
--Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
People, we've got a blind date with destiny.... And it looks like she's ordered the lobster! - The Shoveler (William H. Macy)
--Mystery Men
I swear fealty to the courage in your veins, so strong it is, that its source must be Uther Pendragon. I doubt you no more. Sir Uryens (Kieth Buckley)
--Excalibur
Commander tear this ship apart until you've found those plans and bring me the passengers I want them alive! - Darth Vader (Voiced by James Earl Jones)
--Star Wars
You mean there's more to life then being really, really, really, ridiculously good looking? - Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller)
--Zoolander
I see your shwartz is as big as mine. Now that you have it do you know how to use it? - Dark Helmet (Rick Moranis)
--Space Balls
Bob Mackenzie (Rick Moranis): Did you see her looking at me?
Doug Mackenzie (Dave Thomas): Yeah, cuz she thought you were some kind of freak. Now lets go!
--Strange Brew
You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash your piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you and shove it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'till it goes click. - Jesus (John Turturro)
--The Big Lebowski
Robert Dupea (Jack Nicholson): So you don't serve toast?
Waitress (Lorna Thayer): No.
Dupea:But the club house sandwich comes on toasted bread right?
Waitress: Yes.
Dupea: Well then I I would like to order a club house sandwich, but I want you to hold the mayo, hold the lettuce, hold the tomato, hold the cheese and hold the ham. You got that?
Waitress: Yes.
Dupea: Now here's what else I want you to do. I want you to hold the chicken.
Waitress: You want me to hold the chicken?!
Dupea: Yeah. I want you to hold it between your legs.
--Five Easy Pieces
This town needs an enema! -The Joker (Jack Nichlson)
--Batman
Sell crazy somewhere else lady, We're all stocked up here! -Melvin Udall (Jack Nicholson)
--As Good As It Gets
I feel like I'm Han Solo, LDH is Chewbacca, Kitt is Obi Wan Kenobi and we're in that FUCKED UP bar!
-
Van Der Litreb
- Bulldrek Pimp
- Posts: 894
- Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2002 9:17 am
- Location: Denmark
The entire Ghostbusters movie.
Evil Ash: You'll never retrieve the Necronomicon! You'll die before ya get it!
Ash: Hey! What's that you got on your face?
Evil Ash: Huh?
*shovel full of dirt*
--Army of Darkness
*while licking the plexiglass divider in the police car*
"The schnozberries taste like schnozberries!"
--Super Troopers
"Bunch of savages in this town."
--Clerks
"You hear that Mr. Anderson? That is the sound of inevitability..."
--The Matrix
"I'd like to live just long enough to be there when they cut off your head and stick it on a pike as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come with too high a price. I want to look up into your lifeless eyes and wave like this." *waves*
--Babylon 5
"Apparently it's something they only do certain times of the year as part of their religious ceremonies. You may not believe this, but .. it was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. I couldn't make out the words, but I knew it was full of sadness and .. hope and wonder and .. terrible .. sense of loss. I looked at Londo and -- this is the amazing part -- there was a .. tear running down his face. I said: 'Londo, we should leave.' And 'This is upsetting you.' He just stood there and .. listened. And when it was over he turned to me and he said: 'There are 49 gods in our pantheon, Vir. To tell you the truth I never believed in any of them. But if only one of them exist, .. then god sings with that voice."
--Baylon 5 (Vir, talking about Londo hearking the Pak'Ma'Ra sing)
Evil Ash: You'll never retrieve the Necronomicon! You'll die before ya get it!
Ash: Hey! What's that you got on your face?
Evil Ash: Huh?
*shovel full of dirt*
--Army of Darkness
*while licking the plexiglass divider in the police car*
"The schnozberries taste like schnozberries!"
--Super Troopers
"Bunch of savages in this town."
--Clerks
"You hear that Mr. Anderson? That is the sound of inevitability..."
--The Matrix
"I'd like to live just long enough to be there when they cut off your head and stick it on a pike as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come with too high a price. I want to look up into your lifeless eyes and wave like this." *waves*
--Babylon 5
"Apparently it's something they only do certain times of the year as part of their religious ceremonies. You may not believe this, but .. it was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. I couldn't make out the words, but I knew it was full of sadness and .. hope and wonder and .. terrible .. sense of loss. I looked at Londo and -- this is the amazing part -- there was a .. tear running down his face. I said: 'Londo, we should leave.' And 'This is upsetting you.' He just stood there and .. listened. And when it was over he turned to me and he said: 'There are 49 gods in our pantheon, Vir. To tell you the truth I never believed in any of them. But if only one of them exist, .. then god sings with that voice."
--Baylon 5 (Vir, talking about Londo hearking the Pak'Ma'Ra sing)
<font color=#5c7898>A high I.Q. is like a jeep. You'll still get stuck; you'll just be farther from help when you do.
</font>
</font>
-
Sock_Monkey
- Bulldrek Pusher
- Posts: 761
- Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2002 7:59 pm
- Location: Under your bed.
There is nothing in this world, not man, not woman, not beast... This... you can trust. - Conan's Father
--Conan the Barbarian
We had two bags of grass, forty-five pellets of mescalin, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, a whole galaxy of multicolored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers, a pint of rum, a pint of tequila, two cases of beer, a pint of raw ether and two dozen aemals. Not that we needed all that for the trip. But once you get locked into a serious drug collection the tendancy is to push it as far as you can.Raoul Duke (Johnny Depp)
--Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
I feel the need, the need for speed! - Maverick and Goose (Tom Cruise and Anthony Daniels)
--Top Gun
Don't mess with the volcano man... Or I will go Pompeii on your butt! - Mr. Furious (Ben Stiller)
--Mystery Men
So now you have to ask yourself. Did I fire five bullets or did I fire six? Well punk, do you feel Lucky? Come on. Make my day. -Harry Callaghan (Clint Eastwood)
--Dirty Harry
--Conan the Barbarian
We had two bags of grass, forty-five pellets of mescalin, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, a whole galaxy of multicolored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers, a pint of rum, a pint of tequila, two cases of beer, a pint of raw ether and two dozen aemals. Not that we needed all that for the trip. But once you get locked into a serious drug collection the tendancy is to push it as far as you can.Raoul Duke (Johnny Depp)
--Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
I feel the need, the need for speed! - Maverick and Goose (Tom Cruise and Anthony Daniels)
--Top Gun
Don't mess with the volcano man... Or I will go Pompeii on your butt! - Mr. Furious (Ben Stiller)
--Mystery Men
So now you have to ask yourself. Did I fire five bullets or did I fire six? Well punk, do you feel Lucky? Come on. Make my day. -Harry Callaghan (Clint Eastwood)
--Dirty Harry
I feel like I'm Han Solo, LDH is Chewbacca, Kitt is Obi Wan Kenobi and we're in that FUCKED UP bar!
ME ME ME ME ME ME :)Thunderchild wrote:I would like to put in my favortite futurama quotes... but i think that Nobody is interested in reading the entire scrips of seasons 1 - 5 so i thought i would limit it to just one per character.
To add a few to the list:
Bender: Ah, no room for Bender huh! Well i go build my own luna lander, with black jack and hookers! Infact, forget the luna lander and the blackjack! Aw, screw the whole thing!
Zap: Captins log! Stardate,er....
Kiff: Agh! April 13th!
Zap: Yes, April 13th...Point 2!
Robot elder: Come Bender, show us the killing skills that have made you a media darling
Fry: Lucy Liu-bot, if I don't survive the corn, I want you to know that I love you as much as a man can love a computerized image of a gorgeous celebrity, which it turns out is a lot.
Professor: Doomsday device? Ah, now the ball's in Farnsworth's court. I suppose I could part with one and still be feared.
Fry: Hey, I don't see you planning for your old age.
Bender: I got plans. I'm gonna turn my on/off switch to off.
Leela: Okay, this has gotta stop. I'm going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can.
Professor: You're going to do his laundry?
Zapp: You win again, gravity!
Bender: That probulator sure knows how to please a man.
Bender: I'm gonna drink 'till I reboot.
Leela: Bender, we didn't mind your drinking or your cleptomania or your pornography ring.
Zoidberg: In fact, that's why we love you.
Prof Farnsworth: If only he had joined a mainstream religion, like Oprahism or Voodoo.
Fry: This is a great, as long as you don't make me smell Uranus. Heh heh.
Leela: I don't get it.
Prof F: I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all.
Fry: Oh. What's it called now?
Prof F: Urectum.
Professor F: Good news, everyone.
Bender: Uh oh. I don't like the sound of that.
Professor F: You'll be making a delivery to the planet Trisaw.
Bender: Here it comes.
Professor F: A mysterious world in the darkest depths of the forbidden zone.
Bender: Thank you, and goodnight.
Bender: I love this planet. I've got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring.
Bender: Hey, sexy mama. Wanna kill all the humans?
Morbo: All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo!
Hermes: Up yours, Zoidberg. Up wherever your species traditionally crams things.
Fry: I'm not prejudiced.
Bender: Ah, save it for the cross-burning, Adolf.
Leela: Fry, you're wasting your life sitting in front of that TV. You need to get out and see the real world."
Fry: But this is HDTV. It's got better resolution than the real world.
Leela: Bender, why are you spending so much time in the bathroom? Are you jacking on in there?
Bender: OK, but I don't want anyone thinking we're robosexuals.
Leela: Now strip naked and get on the probulator.
Bender: Bite my shiny, metal ass!
Cops: I'm going to get 24th Century on his ass!
Morbo: Kittens give Morbo gas.
Morbo: All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo.
Morbo: Morbo will now introduce tonights candidates. Puny human number one, puny human number two and Morbo's good friend Richard Nixon.
Nixon: Hello Morbo. How's the family?
Morbo: Belligerent and numerous.
Nixon: Good man, Nixon's pro-war and pro-family.
Morbo: Morbo demands an answer to the following question. If you saw a delicious candy in the hands of a small child. Would you seize and consume it?
John Jackson: Unthinkable.
Jack Johnson: I wouldn't think of it.
Morbo: What about you Mr. Nixon? I remind you. You are under of a truth-o-scope.
Nixon: Question is vague. You don't say what kind of candy and whether anyone is watching. In anyway I certainly wouldn't harm the child.
Morbo: Morbo congratulates our gargantuan cyborg president. May death come quickly to his enemies.
Morbo: Earthlings do not yet know the meaning of suffering.
I couldn't name 5 movies right now. Need sleep...
"Did you see that?"
"No"
"Good, neither did I."
-Ray and Winston, The Real Ghostbusters Animated Series
"Heheh, 'Get 'er!' that was your whole plan."
-Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters
"There ARE things that go bump in the night, Agent Myers. We're the ones who bump back."
- Professor Bruttenholm, Hellboy
"Cut to the chase, how do I kill it?"
"It doesn't say."
-Abe and Hellboy, Hellboy
More (better) later
"Did you see that?"
"No"
"Good, neither did I."
-Ray and Winston, The Real Ghostbusters Animated Series
"Heheh, 'Get 'er!' that was your whole plan."
-Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters
"There ARE things that go bump in the night, Agent Myers. We're the ones who bump back."
- Professor Bruttenholm, Hellboy
"Cut to the chase, how do I kill it?"
"It doesn't say."
-Abe and Hellboy, Hellboy
More (better) later
Hello, I'm a signature VIRUS!
Copy me to your signature to help me grow.
Copy me to your signature to help me grow.