[Medical] BroJ/Jeff Update

Jeff Hauze · Post by **Jeff Hauze** » Fri Jun 08, 2007 1:26 am

So I had to drive myself to the ER this morning...funny story that. Surprise! I've got gallstones. Not exactly a major deal, other than that it requires surgery. And well...I fucking hate hospitals and nearly all modern medicine with a passion I normally reserve for furries. But I'm getting it done. So, I'll be a bit sporadic starting next Tuesday. My surgery consult is on Tuesday, and then we'll schedule the surgery (likely for the following Monday). How long I'll be out of action? It depends whether they can do the laproscopic only (just deal with stones and diseased tissue), cut me open (same result, but may be necessary if the two stones are two larger), or cut me open wider (in some rare cases, they also need to nick out the appendix while in there as well). I'll try and keep this thread updated as I get more info, but if you folks need to contact me or just want to say high while I'm on hiatus...Nexusvoid, Reika, and Liniah would be the people to reach who have rather immediate direct contact to me.

Marius · Post by **Marius** » Fri Jun 08, 2007 1:47 am

The best part about surgery is some asshole waking you up at 5am the next morning to ask how you're feeling.

Jeff Hauze · Post by **Jeff Hauze** » Fri Jun 08, 2007 1:57 am

Which reminds me Marius...I meant to ask you about this actually.

I was told there's no non-surgical option for gallstones, though there is for kidney stones. If that's the case, mind explaining why that is the case? At least they were nice enough to give me some Vicodin. Since it is Vicodin, it will ensure I'll never use it. I hate what that shit does to me.

Marius · Post by **Marius** » Fri Jun 08, 2007 2:15 am

Gallstones generally hurt when the gallbladder's all pissed off and inflamed. They're going to keep forming (and keep hurting) as long as there's a gallblader for them to form in. I think a while back someone took a shot at making a med that would keep stones from forming, but it never panned out.

Kidney stones usually don't require surgery, they just hurt like hell. Even when they're too big to pass on their own, usually they can be broken and yanked out with minor procedures. And kidney stones can be prevented somewhat by keeping well hydrated and keeping the system flushed. (And sometimes with diet.)

Kitt · Post by **Kitt** » Fri Jun 08, 2007 4:20 am

Another note: to my knowledge, gallstones are formed from eating too much "rich" food, like thick gravies, etc. Kidney stones are often formed from dehydration and an extreme overabundance of protein. Kidney stones can be passed through the urethra, but the gall bladder is pretty well cut off from the easiest exits, hence the requirement of surgery.

Marius · Post by **Marius** » Fri Jun 08, 2007 5:02 am

Gallstones aren't really caused by diet. The pain is provoked by fatty diets, because the digestive system prompts gall bladder contraction in response to fat.

Kidney stones may be caused by dehydration, though protein isn't a major factor.

It's not so much that the gallbladder is cut off. There are ducts leading out. It's more that the stones form there and they don't have any reason to pass. It's a bladder, so they generally just sit at the bottom and get ludicrously big.

3278 · Post by **3278** » Fri Jun 08, 2007 12:02 pm

The hospital has wireless, right? You need to get a laptop or a handheld, so you can just keep bulldrekking through the surgery.

Jeff Hauze · Post by **Jeff Hauze** » Fri Jun 08, 2007 2:31 pm

Marius wrote:Gallstones aren't really caused by diet. The pain is provoked by fatty diets, because the digestive system prompts gall bladder contraction in response to fat.

Yeah, that's the part that threw me off at first. I specifically changed my diet pretty drastically about six months back. Cut out most of the high fat foods, and most of the complex sugars and carbs. So I was a little surprised by the gallstones thing. But the ER doc mentioned that it isn't uncommon for guys who lose a decent amount of weight and change their diet to have gall bladder problems, due to their body not processing as much fatty foods as previously.

Kai · Post by **Kai** » Fri Jun 08, 2007 11:16 pm

Sheesh...well hopefully all goes well. And they give you painkillers for a reason, you don't like Vicodin, ask for something else, they make different kinds for a reason too

I think I still have your number, I'll give you a call sometime.

Moto42 · Post by **Moto42** » Sat Jun 09, 2007 12:09 am

I agree with 3278. Grab a laptop and haul it into surgury with you.
You can post up a play-by-play account of the event as it happens.

FlakJacket · Post by **FlakJacket** » Sat Jun 09, 2007 12:39 am

Screw that, get one with a camera hooked up to it and record your surgery.

Moto42 · Post by **Moto42** » Sat Jun 09, 2007 1:11 am

Hell yea, and take a microphone for sports commentator style narration.

Bonus points for every additional five minutes you add to the surgery by making the staff laugh to hard.
Double Bonus Points if they start laughing at "a bad time".

Jeff Hauze · Post by **Jeff Hauze** » Sat Jun 09, 2007 2:55 am

No. BroJ = terrified of surgery. No funny commentary, no podcasting it, no video. You must all die slow, painful deaths for suggesting such.

Reika · Post by **Reika** » Sat Jun 09, 2007 3:37 am

Jeff Hauze wrote:No. BroJ = terrified of surgery. No funny commentary, no podcasting it, no video. You must all die slow, painful deaths for suggesting such.

*wuffles and offers good drugs*

Kitt · Post by **Kitt** » Sat Jun 09, 2007 4:15 am

May I ask what it is about surgery that you're not keen on? I mean, other than the obvious being cut and needles and whatnot.

Jeff Hauze · Post by **Jeff Hauze** » Sat Jun 09, 2007 5:40 am

I need to be nearly missing a limb to deal with doctors in any way. I can't really explain it, but the concept of a lot of modern medicine (especially in regards to pharmaceuticals) rub me the wrong way. On top of that, the concept of being cut open just straight up sends me into near shivering fear. And a number of my extended family members have died due to misdiagnosis and malpractice. So I don't trust the croakers.

Jeff Hauze · Post by **Jeff Hauze** » Thu Jun 14, 2007 2:19 pm

June 28th in the afternoon is when Doc Frankenstein gets to do the slice and dice thing.

DV8 · Post by **DV8** » Thu Jun 14, 2007 2:30 pm

Good luck, man. I hope things will go smoothly for you.

Jeff Hauze · Post by **Jeff Hauze** » Thu Jun 14, 2007 2:50 pm

Hey, so long as I come back with a pair of those cool Frankenstein's monster style rivets in my neck...I'm happy.

DV8 · Post by **DV8** » Thu Jun 14, 2007 2:58 pm

My mother recently had a fist-sized tumour dug out of her skull. She had the rivets on her skull. So cool!

sinsual · Post by **sinsual** » Thu Jun 14, 2007 3:35 pm

Don't forget, the nurse gets to shave you

Jeff Hauze · Post by **Jeff Hauze** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 2:24 am

sinsual wrote:Don't forget, the nurse gets to shave you

Ain't no shaving happening. Death would result if such occurred. I've cultivated my rabid wolverine/undersized grizzly bear look with too much care to give it up now.

Kitt · Post by **Kitt** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 4:31 am

Good luck with that. They generally don't care how long you've been working on your mammoth look. I think it's a health...thing.

sinsual · Post by **sinsual** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 6:22 pm

Jeff Hauze wrote:
sinsual wrote:Don't forget, the nurse gets to shave you
Ain't no shaving happening. Death would result if such occurred. I've cultivated my rabid wolverine/undersized grizzly bear look with too much care to give it up now.

Heh, not your face dude, but lower, any incisions around the beltline require it :-D

Jeff Hauze · Post by **Jeff Hauze** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 9:53 pm

Oh I got what you meant Sin. I'm just choosing to ignore the fact that they'll need to do so. I meant the grizzly bear/rabid wolverine look on my torso. Guys flat out shouldn't be shaving chest/back/or otherwise hair. You got hair for a reason, Grizzly Adams. If you want to shave your face or head for looks, fine. But you're a dude, not a chick.

Iantha · Post by **Iantha** » Fri Jun 15, 2007 10:24 pm

Paul is a big hairy giy. I like big grizzly guys.

Jeff Hauze · Post by **Jeff Hauze** » Sat Jun 16, 2007 12:23 am

Save for the teeth, Austin Powers is my hero.

Kitt · Post by **Kitt** » Sat Jun 16, 2007 2:07 am

I like hair ONLY from the top of the head and the chin. Body hair skeeves me out to no end. I guess that's one of the reasons I like to date girls. Long hair to play with on the top of the head, none elsewhere.

Adam · Post by **Adam** » Sat Jun 16, 2007 10:45 pm

Jeff Hauze wrote:Oh I got what you meant Sin. I'm just choosing to ignore the fact that they'll need to do so. I meant the grizzly bear/rabid wolverine look on my torso. Guys flat out shouldn't be shaving chest/back/or otherwise hair. You got hair for a reason, Grizzly Adams. If you want to shave your face or head for looks, fine. But you're a dude, not a chick.

Do you live in the woods? No? Shave that shit off, you aren't some fuckin' mastadon!

Jeff Hauze · Post by **Jeff Hauze** » Sun Jun 17, 2007 1:58 am

Adam wrote:Do you live in the woods? No? Shave that shit off, you aren't some fuckin' mastadon!

Well the current place I'm at isn't in the woods, but the last place was. And yes, I am a mastadon? I'm wooly and mammoth, baby!

Jeff Hauze · Post by **Jeff Hauze** » Wed Jun 27, 2007 11:38 pm

Surgery tomorrow at 1:30 pm. Make sure to send all explosive packages care of the hospital. Hopefully, I'll be back online at some point Friday. Could be longer. I really have no clue at this point.

Marius · Post by **Marius** » Thu Jun 28, 2007 8:08 am

Remind them to cut away from the liver. See you soon.

Liniah · Post by **Liniah** » Thu Jun 28, 2007 10:16 pm

I just got a call from Jeffrey. Everything went well and he is on his way home now.

Iantha · Post by **Iantha** » Fri Jun 29, 2007 1:16 am

fabulous!

Nexusvoid · Post by **Nexusvoid** » Fri Jun 29, 2007 6:33 am

Ah, yeah, I was supposed to post something but my connection was out when I got home from work.

Crazy Elf · Post by **Crazy Elf** » Fri Jun 29, 2007 2:06 pm

Yayness!

Jeff Hauze · Post by **Jeff Hauze** » Fri Jun 29, 2007 2:40 pm

Yes, I'm back home and recovering fine. Sameday outpatient as planned. Laproscopic went fine, and thankfully (as expected by the croaker, I of course feared the worst) I was a perfect example of the 95% . Soreness at the recovery surgical site right in the center of my chest, where everything got pulled out. The croaker forgot to mention that I'd get a breathing tube, right up until they were starting to do the anesthetia (I know I mangled that spelling somehow). The ana croaker asks me to open my throat to see how bad it would be. Maelwys will laugh about this, but the guy looks at my throat and goes "You snore really loud, and really odd, don't you? Minor sleep apnia, sort of sound like you're dying in your sleep?"

Me: "Yeah."

Croaker, to the nurse: "Yeah, we don't do his breathing tube until after we sedate him...he's definitely not going to handle it well."

Of course, I didn't want to disabuse him of the notion that my throat seems to handle all the Brasky and Paul action fine, but hey.

So, I'm back, and slowly getting back up to speed. Not sure how regularly I'll post until a bit later in the weekend. The pain meds and the soreness make it tough to sit still at the desk for long, and I don't have my laptop yet to use it wireless.

DV8 · Post by **DV8** » Fri Jun 29, 2007 3:23 pm

Glad to see you're doing well, guy.

Kai · Post by **Kai** » Fri Jun 29, 2007 5:43 pm

Glad everything went well

Rest up, we'll be fine til your're back

Moto42 · Post by **Moto42** » Mon Jul 02, 2007 4:45 am

YAY He's fine!

Kitt · Post by **Kitt** » Tue Jul 03, 2007 3:43 am

NotDeadFred wrote: (spoken):
I feel happy. I feel happy.
(sung)
I am not dead yet
I can dance and I can sing
I am not dead yet
I can do the Highland Fling

I am not dead yet
No need to go to bed
No need to call the doctor
Cause I'm not yet dead.

[quote = Ensemble]
He is not yet dead
That's what the geezer said
No, he's not yet dead
That man is off his head

He is not yet dead
So put him back in bed
Keep him off the cart because he's not yet dead.[/quote]

Oh, Spamalot. And yay for not being dead. Hope recovery goes smoothly as well.