Bullied.

[DV8]

Did anyone ever get bullied in elementary or high school? If so, then why and how has it affected the rest of your life?

[Prince]

I was only bullied once. It was in eighth grade, and I was delivering my paper route. For no known reason, one of the kids who lived on my paper route, a fat Freshman in High School, liked to taunt me whenever he saw me.

One day he and a couple of jeans jacket, cigarette smoking, juniors in high school decided to mix up a bunch of mud, put some smelly stuff in it, and throw it at me when I came to deliver the paper in the afternoon. It was a chilly fall day, and they succeeded in their endeavor.

I grabbed the biggest of them by his lapels, and nearly got the tar kicked out of me... but... my father had taught me NOT to get into fights, so I turned and left. It wasn't fear I was feeling, at least not fear of physical pain.

I finished my paper route covered in smelly mud and went home. My father took me back out to find the idiots, but we only found one, the biggest. He then told the moron that he would be talking to his parents and if this happened again he would notify the police.

They didn't physically mess with me after that point. We moved away from that area my freshman year of high school, and no one has bullied me since.

I don't know how much it affected me; I do think it might have encouraged my respect for authority, and my views on how things ought to be handled.

[Crucible]

Persona forgetfulness. TTF does it to me every time. Prince = Crucible for those who do not know...

[Instant Cash]

Once when I was in 8th grade also.

I was wlkaing home from the mall. A couple a guys decided to pick on me and my friend who they had deemed as geeks.

There was 2, the small mouthy one, and the big fucker who just stood there. After enough teasing and pushing I turned to fight back. I had no idea what I was doing, And of course the one to fight me? The big fucker. I got clocked, They left.

i do not know how it effected me other than the fact that I later hung out with the smaller guy regularly. I do not think he remembered me though.

[Daki]

Yes, I did for most of two years in grammer school (from 6th through most of 8th grade). Why? I think it was because I was different from the rest and made myself an easy target.

Now, how it's affected my life... that's a little more complex. I used it as motivation. I had been dabbling in martial arts for two years up to that point and it was that constant bullying (verbal and physical) that pushed me to take my studies seriously. So I started to learn how to fight even though I didn't use the things I learned. I was still too...afraid.

Summer between 8th Grade and Freshman year changed all that. I went away to a little town in Minnesota to get my head clear and figure out what I wanted to do. For almost a month I trained alone and tried to find the aggression I had been lacking. It helped a little, but I still saw myself as too weak.

When I came home I begged my father to buy me a membership at the nearby gym and when he finally agreed I was at the gym everyday. This was also the summer I finished my training in Tae Kwon Do and moved into something I thought would help: kickboxing.

High school was different. I went to a private school while most of my grammer school class went eslewhere. I still had problems and still stood out. There were certain members of the football team who picked on everyone who wasn't one of them. I was a semi-frequent target just because I was quiet and a "fucking brainy geek" as they called me. It was never physical, just verbal taunting and insults.

After practice near the end of the Freshman season, I was outside talking to my girlfriend. The clique of players came out and yelled, "Hey Waz, who's the c@#&?" There was no hesitation, I just ran at the person who said it (still remember his name: Rich Ross) and started hitting him. Two coaches broke it up before I could do any real damage but he was bloody and I was sent home.

That was the day I finally grew tired of people who pick on others for no reason than they were different and/or didn't fight back. So I spent the offseason doing what I had been, training in the gym and kickboxing.

Flash forward to Junior Year when I transferred schools and moved to the western suburbs to a rural area school. Here I find it's even worse. There's a certain clique (mostly jocks) who decide to "run the school". Having just left that shit and the fact I'm a complete unknown, I made the decision to draw the lines quickly. Back then, I was as big as I am now (6'4") and in a fighting shape of 220. I no longer feared anyone really. I had a small group of close friends and a larger group I talked to at school. The jocks were the "clique" who picked on people just because. The jocks and I did not get along very well. Looking back, I know I took pleasure in beating the hell out of any of them when they did to others what I went through.

And that is how it changed me. Because of all that, I'm the person I am today and in the job I have today. An interesting side effect of all that... I realized I was no longer shy about anything. So right now I'm a salesman, a recruiter and manager who has to manage a team of 10 consultants that have a tendency to be bad children from time to time.

[Anaka]

I got generally shunned in 5th and 6th, both because I did well in school and because I gained weight at about 12. I got royally terrorised from 7th through 9th grade, as a group of about five girls took it upon themselves to make my life a living hell for their personal pleasure. I had rumours spread about me, I had notes (mean, disgusting, or both) left in my locker and then summarily denied. It got so bad that I would regularly spend the lunch hour in an attempt to make myself as unnoticable as possible. I wished I'd never been born.

As of 10th grade, the rumors and such settled down, though the majority of kids I knew went out of their way to make sure I knew that I was neither liked nor appreciated. The typical thing to happen was that I'd help someone with their homework, then hear about it two days later as an attempt on my part to show off and "look smart." The last two years weren't too bad, especially as I was named a National Merit Scholar and got a full ride into college, the highest honor anyone from my school had ever achieved. Not too much could be said openly after that.

As to how it affected me.... I've spent years learning how to be angry and actually confront people, learning that the world will not in fact end if I do. I've spent years convincing myself that it was okay to actually volunteer an idea, to make a suggestion. I've spent years trying to find worth in myself. I've largely learned that I don't have to just settle, and that being smart isn't a mortal sin in the world at large.

What hits me now, though, is that since I've had to move back home to the town I grew up in (very small, only 1100 people--only 24 in my graduating class), I'm seeing people I grew up with on a regular basis. And try as I might, I can't enjoy their company. Even if they weren't the ones who went out of their way to torture me, I can't get past it. And that means that I'm losing the company of some really nice people, both the ones who were actually my friends, and the ones who aren't the mean kids I remember from school any more. Maybe eventually I'll work through it, but in the meantime, this particular small town is a really lonely place.

[The Mighty Buddha]

From second grade to junior year of high school thats all people did to me, never made sense to me either. Im a bit over weight and that was the only reason.

Was in therapy for a while because of it, and then i found the wonderous stuff known as Weed. Since then i really dont care, but whenever i go around not stoned i get very self concious about what people are thinking about me. Which i shouldnt, but i do.

[Ryan Murphy]

Nope. Can't say I have. But then again, look at me. I've always been big and tall. I've always been able to talk my way out of trouble- failing that, beat the sweet fuck out of anyone who wouldn't listen to reason.

So, I can say this is one department I got along fine in. For a change

[Psykoguy]

I was bullied extensively from grades 4-8, and it fucked up my life.

[Serious Paul]

Bullied? I am too mean for that. I have been jumped before. I was stabbed with a screw driver once, by six black kids. I was a white kid in their neighborhood, thats why I was jumped apparently.

I have been in a lot of fist fights and "bullied" (to a point) my fair share of people. (Not always have I realized I was doing it.)

[Spiral]

From Kindergarten to around g9. I turned into a twitchy fucker between 8 and 9.

[DrunkenMaster]

I moved around a lot, was relatively bookish, small for my age, and for a time wore glasses. So, yeah, I got bullied. I'm fairly certain the worst bullies in the world are rich kids. Sometimes I was able to earn the poor bullies respect. Sometimes I could help out the stupid bullies. And as far as the ostracized bullies, who did it because everyone else did it to them, well, for a time I was one of them. It only happened a few times, but those few times would be the first things I'd go back and change, if I had the opportunity. Back to rich bullies, I've got a special place in my heart for rich kids who tease, hit, demean, and harass others for no other reason than their shoes don't cost $100. I've also got a similar place in my heart for the parents of those children, who taught them to be that way.

How has it affected me? Well, through highschool I could go for days at a time without talking to anyone. I didn't volunteer for things I enjoyed, I didn't go and do the things I wanted to. I shut myself off from my family and any friends I might have made and I ruined that time of my life for myself. That's some of the bad stuff.

I think much good has come of it too. I've got more confidence now than I ever have had, and I had to work for it, so I know what it is worth. I try to be very aware of what I say and do, and how it affects people. I value my thoughts and opinions, because I've had to take a beating for them. I'm also not stuck with the, "Highschool was the happiest time of my life", plague that is pretty common in people my age. I can move on and work to enjoy every part of my future without constantly wishing for the way things were.

[Crazy Elf]

They tried

At first, they even succeeded. Hell, I wasn't that violent. Esspecially after my father taught me very early in life ten ways how to kill a man with your bare hands.

A tip to fathers out there, don't do that.

Anyway, there was a little harrassment, but nothing out of the ordinary. In primary school I was completely different to all the others, and so they teased me. I ended up in a few fights, nothing major. Once several kids ganged up on me, yet still I didn't come out worse for ware, actually I don't think I was hurt at all.

Was punched in the head for no reason, once, that sucked. Note: still have to gloat over that boy's pathetic and meaningless existence.

High School, things changed. Someone called me a name once, and I destroyed him within short order. Guy later on turned out to be a fuckball, but I never had a problem with him because I'd already vented. After that point, very few people called me names. Those who did were close associates, and therefore it was in jest. Others stayed the fuck away from me. Later, they were petrified of me because I had "bizare spiritual practices" and somewhere along the line some said that I had said I was a Saint, and someone else said I was a Satan worshiper.

I was a new-age-junkie. I am somewhat less than proud of this.

In any case, they left me the fuck alone.

[Cash]

I was a little punk, esp in Jr high school. What kept me safe was being the 3rd or 4th fastest kid in the school and it wasn't malicious. I only had a few times where I was in over my head but I was able to talk my way out of it. *shrug*

In 9th grade, I had one kid that picked on me constantly and made my classes hell. It didn't help that I had something like 3 classes with him. One day outside French class, he nailed me in the stomach and I went "oof!" and went down. He was immediately apologetic, helped me up and offered to let me punch him back...anywhere. I said, "No. I'd rather wait til you weren't expecting it" and went back to class. I never had a problem with him after that. I never did get my punch in either. Maybe at the 10 year reunion.

[The Eclipse]

Sure, I was bullied all through school, but never by the same person twice. I learned that there is a very fine art to getting revenge on people, and when someone treated me like shit I made sure that something unfortunate happened to them.
The one way it changed my life is it drove me to excel, I keep tabs with friends back where I grew up, and I make it a personal point to have them mention me, my successful career, my wonderful family, etc. to the same assholes who fucked with me in highs school who are all working in convenience stores and bowling alleys now.

[DV8]

I had a Jojo. I recommend Jojo's, they can come in handy. When Jojo moved away, I had my godbrother. I recommend my godbrother, he comes in handy.

[Thorn]

I was always a real shy kid, but through fifth grade I was mostly all right. I think primarily because I was smart, but even the teachers didn't realize it. It took a new principal to take a look at my standardized test scores and start leaning on people to pay attention to me (sadly, it was too late to turn me into an over-achiever... or maybe I just became a slacker for other reasons entirely).

Then in junior high... I had some problems. Puberty hit early and hard, which was really difficult for me. I didn't want to become a "woman", I wanted to stay a tomboyish kid forever. When I got my first period, I sobbed.

So I spent a lot of time trying to ignore my body. Part of that meant I didn't take care of it as well as I should have. Also, my parents were one part poor, one part shit at priorities, so I had two pairs of pants in junior high - both black. So I got shunned. I got picked on. I got called names. I had kids sing "Happy Anniversary" to me because they assumed I'd worn the same pair of pants for months in a row. A girl who outweighed me by 50 pounds attacked me with aerosol deodorant. I sat alone at lunch for a year straight, reading and writing. My only friend was a girl I knew from Scouts, who didn't attend my school.

I spent a lot of that time planning to run away, and even came to the conclusion that if I had to turn to prostitution to survive on the street, I'd do it. Granted, I knew shit about what I was contemplating there, but IMO, that doesn't make it any less significant.

In eighth grade I finally started to break out of that. I began to accept my "developed" body and deal with it better, and a couple new kids moved to my school. A number of the kids who'd picked on me were kids I'd been really good friends with in elementary school. After that betrayal, I never was friends with anyone who had been in my class prior to eighth grade. The new thing at this time, though, was for guys to pretend to have crushes on me. I had one kid (one of those rich kids - they have a special place in my little black box too, Drunken Master) every day proposition me in some new and ridiculous way. I still wonder what the heck the point to that was - well, when I bother to think about those days at all. But I just kept reading and writing.

In high school things improved a bit more. I started making some real friends in Girl Scouts - other girls who read and wrote, who were creative and thoughtful and adventurous. I did my best to keep up.

More new kids moved to my school, I made a few more new friends. Girl Scout camp did absolute wonders for me. I could go there, and meet dozens of girls my age who didn't know who I was "back home". I could be whoever I wanted. I gained a lot of confidence there. I started to learn to trust myself more.

Junior year of high school, I started to bust loose. Even before the hell of junior high, I'd been a shy kid. Being tormented made me even less inclined to speak to anyone unless I had to. But during my junior year... I still don't quite know what happened. Suddenly I said "Screw it" and started to do exactly as I pleased. I'd always known I'd never be a pretty person, but I decided at least I could be a "cool" person. So that's what I set out to do. Around then I picked up another group of friends, and so by senior year... it was weird. Suddenly I had a lot of friends. Heck, I had three different groups of friends, but of course they didn't all get along. Oh well.

Yeah, so that's about it.

How did it change me? I'm not sure. Looking back, a lot of the strength of character I thought I'd built back in junior high, I think I always had. I just had to rely on it for the first time in my life then.

I think the big thing I learned is this: You can't make people like you. If someone has decided they hate you, there's really not much you can do aobut it. So I decided that if somebody had already decided not to like me, I was just going to let it be. Let them not like me. Sure, it'd make me sad, but at the end of the day, I'd rather have a dozen people who didn't like me than even a single person who pretended to be my friend so long as I kissed up to them.

[I'll probably regret this later - oh well. Here goes.]

[Nightsky]

I think that middle school (6th and 7th grades) held my bullies. At the time I hadn't hit the growth spurt yet. As a result I was the shortest person in my class. The most trouble I had was from an upper classman. Everyday constant insulting and mocking and goading. One day it accumulated in a fight instigated by myself. I got suspended for a few days for it. To this day when I see him I still have an urge to bash his brains in. I must say that he's the only person in my life that I hate on sight.

How has it affected me in life? I take insults and goading and mocking differently. If I kno the person doing it, I just laugh along with it. If it's intentional, harmful, I bottle it up inside and warn the person just once to leave me alone. After that I find myself almost uncontrollably drawn to seriously hurt the person with an handy, blunt object nearby. I think it's conditioned me to think that it's the only valid response at my disposal. It's also affected the way I make friends. It takes a lot for me to label somone as a friend, but when I do I'm fanatically loyal to them. However, the first time I get crossed is the last time. I'll never trust that person again for the rest of my life.

[3278]

I've never really been bullied. Well, once, an ex-junior Golden Gloves champion who was, unbeknownst to me, quite a bit older than I was, tried to bully me, but I was too freaked out by what was going on to be scared by him. So instead, he punched me in the face hard enough to permanently shatter the nerves on the left side of my face, and then I shoved him and walked away. Couldn't figure out why he didn't pummel my ass; turns out that, since he was over 18, he didn't want to cream me and go to jail.

Don't get me wrong; I got the shit kicked out of me when I was a kid. I just never got bullied. I didn't have any friends - I had one friend from the time I was born until the time I was 14 - and I was pretty sickly. I didn't so much have a childhood as a convelescence.

So when someone wanted to do whatever it is that bullies want to do when they're bullying people, they either tried and failed - because I'd just keep talking, and they wouldn't know what to do when I started saying things like, "I understand your agressive nature" when I was six - or they just beat the shit out of me and were done with the issue.

I was sickly, as I said. And small. When I was 18, I weighed 135 and could bench about 120. People didn't fight with me or bully me because:

• I could always "frost" them into not getting into a fight and instead being my good friend forever.
• I had friends like Paul.

This worked out pretty well for me.

As I got older, I got bigger. Sometime around my college era - how damnably brief that was - I got a lot bigger. I'm still no Caz, but I'm 180 and can bench...well, Caz. [No matter the extra tidbit around my midsection; Paul has one, and not one of you would fight him, so shut the hell up, huh?] And I have a fair amount of experience in fighting now, so when someone tries to bully me, I just loose my temper and beat them the fuck up. Or punch them in the head until they let me go. Paul.

So, no. I've never been bullied. I've either been surrounded by 10 guys all my size or bigger and beat the shit out of, manipulated my way out of the fight, been too oblivious and over-confident to realize someone was bullying me, or pointed to Paul and said, "Shut up, shithead."

[ThatWendigo]

Wow, this is a touchy subject.

I really don't know how much to say and, like Thorn, I may regret what I do decide to tell.

I've been bullied in all senses of the word I can think of. The earliest I can remember it happening is first grade, and the latest I remember it happening was tenth grade.

Unlike some of the others here, I was always tall for my age, but it wasn't until puberty that I started getting the physical mass to go along with it. I have a last name that's incredibly easy to mock, and I needed glasses around the time I entered second grade. As if that weren't bad enough, I was born with a developmental disorder that wasn't diagnosed until I was 18. On top of that, I started developing clinical depression around the age of eight, and it blossomed into full-blown bipolar disorder in a few years.

I was tormented by people around me, and I almost certainly fed it and fueled it. I'm not dumb enough to think that people do these things without some sort of feedback. However, had I understood what was happening a bit better, I might not have played along with some of the things I did, said some of the things I said, or trusted some of the people I allowed into my confidence.

Middle school was a transition period for me, but it wasn't until highschool that I started really fending for myself. At that point, I worked out enough to become a starting football player, and I'd had a number of years of martial arts behind me. In addition to my improving physical prowess, which combined nicely with my new mass and muscles, I started developing an ability to fight back verbally in a way that made it harder to victimize me. I only had to fight three times in my life, and I won them all.

Unfortunately, I have victimized others, though I don't believe i've been a bully, since I haven't really meant to do it. Some people here know what I'm talking about, and others can probably figure out what I mean. Hell, some of them have posted before me.

I've been a shitty person in the past, and it's been because I let my defenses and "public attitude" jump in when I shouldn't.

I try very hard to not become what made me the person I am. I don't always succeed.

I have, since my last appearance in the Bulldrek community, written a fairly well-received article at another community, and I will point those who want more information to that particular outpouring.

[Szechuan]

I've been bullied, both physically and mentally, for most of my short life.
It started with physical bullying around the 4th grade -- there was this group of older kids who targetted me for reasons I'm still unaware of. It was the stock few big guys, and a short mouthy one who didn't do much without them around (who evidently had told his parents we were bullying him, judging from what his parents said when the neighborhood confronted him.)
I just took it, because I was always told to 'just ignore them'. But this continued for close to 2-3 years, even after I'd backhanded one in the nose, told my parents, had their parents called, talked to the principal, etc...
The sad thing is these kids all lived near me, in a fairly well-to-do part of town. They had nothing to be angry at, not for any reason.

But physical bullying pales in comparison to the mental stuff that awaited me in grades 7-10. Long story short, I'd had things stolen and returned, been made fun of daily, prodded, poked, told to go away.
Part of this was brought on myself-- I was annoying, semi-scummy, and overweight. I attended a High School outside of my designated area to get away from these people, for a 'new start', and all I'd found was more people trying to make a name for themselves through me.
By halfway through 9th grade to halfway through 11th, I'd changed for the worse. I was the kid people avoided on the anniversary of Columbine. I was the kid who told people, and I quote: 'Leave me the fuck alone or you're going to go home to a crater.' or 'Fuck off or I swear I'm going to bring a rifle in tomorrow, and murder you and all of your friends.'

I had a few good friends, and eventually I got a huge mental 'fuck off' and smartened up. But even now I have immense trouble approaching people. It's only recently I can go to a mall and not start shaking and sweating. I was terrified of other human beings...

Quite frankly they fucked me up and I wish them the worst-- which isn't too far off. I've seen these people since then, and I'm damned glad I didn't end up like them. One brags about waking up in Edwin's tour bus, acting proud to be a power-slut. Another deals drugs and makes fake IDs. I talk to the few friends I had in elementary who went to the standard high school, and not one person I know who bullied me has done anything close to succeeding in life.
And that makes me sleep better at night.

[WillyGilligan]

I don't remember ever being bullied, and I honestly don't know why. I was bookish, weak, and I bathed less than frequently. When I went to kindergarten, my brothers told me that they'd beat up any kids that messed with me. They're ten years older than I am, so I figured that would be wrong, so I never thought to test it. When I got to junior high, I had this obsessive fear of being picked on. Right about then was when I started wearing mostly black and and I developed a way of walking through the halls that conveyed a sense of single-minded purpose. My thought was "I'm going to class and I have no time for you and your childish games. Make way." Later I found out that I did look 'scary', but I found that out by hearing it was being said by girls. "He's cute, but kinda scary." So I think it backfired.

For some reason, I exude an aura that makes people either like me enough or just ignore me. There's very little middle ground. All through school, I averaged 2 good friends at any one time, but I eventually made many good acquaintances, mostly through drama. I did have low self-esteem, but I was fueling that by worrying about bullies.

I do have an anecdote about bullying, though. Many years ago, I spent my summer days at the local Boys' Club while my parents worked. I started hanging out with a couple of younger guys and having an alright time of it. After a couple of weeks, I started looking specifically for them every morning to play checkers or whatever. Then I started sneaking up on them. From there it became a daily ritual of chasing these guys around, the whole time I'm thinking that this is normal. One day I chased them into a bit of a corner and another kid grabbed me from behind by the neck. They'd set an ambush for me so that this bigger kid could make me promise to leave them alone. The whole time this was going on, I never once considered that they were really running away from me, and that I was a 'bully'. I think I was about twelve when it happened,and I didn't know how to take that. In retrospect, I wish that they'd thought to tell me what was going on before it got out of hand.

[Jestyr]

I've been thinking about this one lately. My memory of my childhood is that yes, I was bullied. However, I know that's not really correct.

In primary school, I was pretty much friendless. All my friends were boys - they were mostly the sons of my mothers' friends; I was a major-league tomboy and had even more Star Wars figures and Lego than they did, so we all got along grandly. (This is where my marvellous history of being 'just one of the guys' really got started.) However, in primary school boys just did not have friends who were girls, and vice versa, without risking a lot of taunting. So during school hours I was pretty much alone, and felt every bit of it very deeply. Looking back, I only remember a few incidents of specific bullying, but I really felt like I was on the bottom of the social food chain.

In high school, I was pretty solitary for the first couple of years - I knew no-one, having moved interstate between primary and secondary school, and I didn't make friends easily. Eventually, I made a few friends and then my social circle blossomed when I hit sixteen, to the point where my date for the 12th grade graduation ball (equivalent of the prom) was one of the most desired guys in the school. I still always /felt/ like I was bullied and ostracised, though - mostly thanks to being a) a geek, b) way too smart for my own good, and c) not particularly attractive. I've always been my own worst enemy.

Looking back, though, I realise I must have been on crack. If that was bullying, everyone should be bullied. I have nothing to complain about, really - so I wasn't one of the 'popular crowd'; big deal. That's about as far as my misery can legitimately go. When I think about some of the stories of bullying that I've heard from other folks, I realise just how sheltered and gentle my school must have been.

Funny how perceptions differ, really.

[Eva]

When I think about some of the stories of bullying that I've heard from other folks, I realise just how sheltered and gentle my school must have been.

This is something I've been thinking about: there seems to be a /huge/ difference in school atmosphere between US and other Western countries. Looking at my own experience, I was a complete geek for all of primary and at least half of secondary school. Too smart, too cocky and too much glasses. Yet I wasn't bullied. Sure, I felt excluded sometimes and would never count myself among the Popular People in both schools, but seriously bullied?

Also, my secondary school did not have a crew of people (be it football players, or whatever) that terrorized everyone they didn't deem cool enough. One of the reasons for this, I think, is the way our secondary school system is set up: you're in a class with people of generally equal intelligence. There are different curricula and different schools for people of different intelligence. As a result of this you're spending 7 hours a day not feeling like a freak because you know what the plural of curriculum is.

I've discussed this with people from the US before and know that there are benefits to both systems, but in this particular context sharing your academic life with people that are more or less equally intelligent seems like a practical tool to fight the excluding and ostracizing of clever geeks.

[Van Der Litreb]

Around 5th or 6th grade, our class was more or less divided in two; the inbred, less-than-cultivated, moronic redneck kids, and, well, the rest of us. I've always been rather taller than average, so I was only picked on by _groups_ of people, never really individuals. This one kid, who was an abject little coward, one day managed to make me snap. I literally threw the people he was hiding behind aside, grabbed the little twat by his collar and proceeded to make every imaginable threat of physical harm, would he not leave me and my friends the fuck alone. When I was finally dragged away, the little bastard was crying his eyes out and looked like he had pissed himself. He could never look me in the eye again, and nobody picked on me from then on.

One time, a couple of my friends and I had been running around, playing, and one of our friends (a guy who had just moved to town) took great offense to something we did or said to him. I never found out what his problem was, but he had... issues. So as I was walking home, a bit later, this guy suddenly ran up to me and jumpkicked me in the back. I have an inborn screwed-up back, so I was pretty much unable to move from that kick. He then continued kicking and punching me, until I made it all the way home. I met him about a week later, and I beat the crap out of him. After that, we were buddies again.

In 7th or 8th grade, I moved to another town, and another little gang of inbreds started picking on me. Again, only when in large numbers. That ended when I beat our teacher at armwrestling.

In 9th grade, I moved again. By then, I had rather long hair. Some people, of course, didn't like that. But as I was about 6'3" by then, few of them ever voiced their displeasure directly to me. One guy did, and I stomped the wall above and half an inch beside his face. I kept my foot there for a bit, glaring at him (by then, my trademarked shrug and fuck-off facial expression were pretty much fully developed). His face turned ashen and he, and everyone else, left me alone.

I had a blast in [our equivalent of] High School, though. I was taking classes with some of my best friends, and everyone knew not to fuck with any of us, or our friends. We were simply known as The Bad Company. And we were. I had a blast.

[Ka0s 0verdrive]

I got bullied from 6th grade all the way to 12th grade. I still hold a dark place in my heart for those fuckers, and It's twisted me into this persona... I wasn't always this fucked up, I was a nice little boy... b.ut since then, I was a bulldrekker.

[Daki]

I was a nice little boy... b.ut since then, I was a bulldrekker

Can we get a vote on this?

[Toryu]

Don't you know the result already?

[Wildfire]

Bullied? Not really. Harassed? Yeah, all the time. I think the lack of physical stuff came down to 1)being a girl 2)having two 'prescenes' I guess . Either I managed to be completely and utterly not worthy of notice, or I was in a really good or bad mood and had a definite air of 'today is not a good day to mess with me'.

Harassed for being smart, being new (my dad was in the military, from kindergarden to 12g I went to 7 different schools), being noticed by the principals and teachers, for volunteering for things, for wearing glasses, for being overweight, for having no interest in makeup and barbies, but loving matchbox cars and computer games. I was an incredably lonely little kid for most of school, having maybe 3 or 4 friends, and a few more in high school, had elaborate plans for running away, killing myself, all sorts of things that I thought about when it got particularly bad.

Basically, a lot like Anaka and Thorn have already said

How did it affect me? Pretty much destroyed my self-esteem for a number of years and made it very hard for me to deal with social situations. But I think I wouldn't have done nearly as well in school if I didn't spend so much of my time by myself reading and doing stuff like math competitions because I was good at it and had nothing else to do. Also, if I hadn't been that way, the whole chain effect of me learning how to bluff just about damned near everything wouldn't have happened, since I would not have had to try and be someone totally different at the summer programs I went to. Hmm, my drive to do those programs might have been a bit of desperation to escape from the normal, too.

But, I'm (mostly) better now, so its all irrelavant.

[Adam]

A lot, starting probably in 3rd grade or so. It started out with just one of the regular bullies and his bully-friends. I was smart, had glasses, wasn't all that good in sports, etc. It was all the usual shit; trying to steal my stuff, rip up my schoolwork, sneak punches to the kidneys. Chicken bullshit.

That continued up until grade 5, and was mostly nonexistant in grade 6 - first year for everyone in a new school, so I assume that the bullies just kept a lower profile. Went full-swing in grade 7, as I ended up in a class with a couple guys that hated my guts for no apparent reason. Aside from the fact that I was smarter than them, of course. That year was pretty sucky - a lot of dealing with cheap shots in the changing room, verbal confronations in class, etc. I also had some serious asthma problems that year [but thankfully never since], that caused me to hack and cough a whole lot for perhaps a month, which certainly didn't endear me to anyone. I stood up for myself a few times during these encounters and they backed off a bit.

Grade 8 was pretty bully-less, mostly because our class was /all/ a bunch of assholes to our homeroom teacher [he ended up retiring with about 6 weeks left in the year because he coudln't take us anymore..], and nobody was concerned about bullying each other.

In high school; one of the grade 7 bullies dropped out, and his usual "partner in crime" quit with the bullshit for the most part. The grade 3-5 bullies also dropped out [Are we seeing a trend here? hrmmm] and dropped back in and dropped back out, occasionally "bumping into me" in the halls, but I gave slightly less than half a fuck about most of the people I was in school with, so I just shrugged and got on with things.

The only instance I really clearly remember from HS was once when I was opening a door that swung outwards between classes, and nearly opened it right into the face of one of the older guys. He told me to fuck off, I told him to fuck off, and kept walking. Walked into the other wing of the school, grabbed a textbook and started studying. He comes into the same wing, stands over me, and starts dealing on me. I'm lying on my stomach reading my book, going "mmhmm." "alright" "Okay!" to his "If you ever talk to me like that, I'll fuck you up. I'm not going to do it here, but wait until I see you out of school, fucker!"

Last year, I walked into the bank to use the ATM machine, and he's there with a friend, just leaving. Funnily enough, he didn't drag me out into the street and try to "fuck me up", which was probably because he's on probation for "fucking someone else up".

My sum experience with bullies leads me to believe that they're nothing but groupthink cowards, bound by peer pressure just the same as almost everyone else in a youth enviroment is.

[More later, maybe. Some real work just landed on my desk. Check ShadowrunRPG.com in two hours!]

[Toryu]

I don't think I've ever been picked on or bullied in school.

In elementary school, older pupils tried, but when I fought back and usually won, they left me alone.

In Grammar School, I didn't have any problems after some other kid from my class attacked me first, and I struck back and knocked one of his teeth out. Oddly enough, I was actually labeled a bully after that incident. Heh.

And once I attended a private school in Prague, there wasn't any trouble at all with fellow students. No fights, nothing even close to it.

[Ryan Murphy]

^5s Toryu and does the "Took No Shit" dance

[Bishop]

I was bullied my elementary school days. There was 5 of them. (I can still remember their names) I let them get away with and let them get away with it, because my father always told me the better man walked away. Until he saw how it was affecting me. Then he told me to fight back. So my last day of school down in Detroit, I attacked all 5 of them. I don't remember what all happened as it was pretty much utter chaos, but I was the only one that walked away from it unbloodied. I swore never again. Somebody tried my first day of school after we moved. I destroyed him. I never had a problem after that. And as I'm now 235 lbs and can bench almost 350, people tend to not try to pick on me.

[Dvixen]

I sat here and stared at the text box for about 20 minutes, wondering if I really wanted to let you weirdoes see that bit of my life.

In early grade school, I was the pretty, quiet little girl who had maybe 3 pairs of pants, and a dozen t shirts. Single parent families weren't really among the norm in the city I grew up with, so naturally there weren't many kids who didn't quite understand that I had to make do with the second hand kmart bike when they had a brand new one from the lock and bike shop.

I liked sports, I liked the things 'boys' usually liked. I had brief instances of being liked by the kids who would later be the popular kids, and for a time, I had a friend or three. But when they got popular, I became a pariah, and a friend who would once come racing up to me the week before wouldn't even look at me. A month later, I'd be the butt of all their jokes. So naturally, friends didn't mean a lot to me, because they always buggered off when someone more interesting came along.

And this was all by grade 4.

In grade 5, I had a kickass collection of hockey cards. (Back when it was cool to throw your hockey cards at a wall and whoever got closest without knocking over the tipped card won.) It was my pride and joy, and I had the physical dexterity that I could win a fair bit. Someone stole my stack of best cards one day, and scrambled them on the playground. (When I got older, this is what pissed me off the most - I had 2 Gretsky rookies!) Our lockers didn't have locks on them - and constantly things were going missing from my locker. I had to try to explain to my mom that someone had stolen my only jacket. A second hand, ratty little thing. It had gotten to the point where I kept things in the teachers desk if they meant much to me. I carried everything to my classes, and kept nothing in my locker. It was embarassing. I'd was called paranoid - or told that I'd do anything for attention. I just wanted to curl up and hide. Screw attention, I wanted peace.

I watched again as people who were my 'friends' became people who wouldn't acknowledge my existance, and outright harassment and teasing had begun. I was the first in our school that hit the growth spurt, and by the end of the grade 5 school year, I was half a foot taller than pretty much all my grade. I'd gone from being rather coordinated, to klutz, within months it seemed. One day the most popular guy (aka, bully) in our class decided I was the perfect target for harassment, and tripped me as I was walking to my desk. I wasn't having a good day, something else had gone missing out of my locker, and my mom was going out of town for the weekend, leaving me and my sister with the bitch that lived next door - her son was the source of a LOT of the taunting I had to deal with at school. Rather than just get up and go to my desk as I usually did - I stood up and hit the guy as hard as I could. Of course there was no teacher in the room - and when told that the little blonde quiet girl in his class had just punched the class clown/loudmouth - he didn't believe anyone.

Grade 6 was hellish - instead of being picked on - I was avoided. My teachers began to notice I wouldn't pay attention in school, and I was developing a stutter. Add that to the lisp I had, and I was miserable when I had to talk out loud. And since I was smart, the teachers liked calling on me.

Two months into grade 7, we moved. New school, new neighbourhood. I was petrified of it. I knew where I stood in the old school, and I was quickly starting to despise new situations. Then my new teacher walked me to my new class. I walked in, stood at the door while she introduced me, and I walked right back out. I know she made a joke about it, but walking into the class was one of the hardest things I had to ever do. Sitting in the class was my mom's now EX boyfriends son, and he was sitting next to one of my tormentors from my old school who had moved during the summer.

I was on soccer team, on track and field, and grade 7 wasn't too bad. I had 2 friends, both my rivals off track and field, and both from single parent families. Was pretty short lived, tho, we all ended up at different schools for grade 8.

Highschool. Ugh. The big blur. I still had the revolving friends curse. I gave up completely on making friends at school by the end of grade 8, and made friends with the school's librarian. I took classes a year or two before I was supposed to, and got reguarly kicked out of gym because the teacher didn't like me. (I didn't like him either, so I quit track and soccer.) I'd been in decent health until around this time, but I was getting sick with increasing frequency, and a lot of time was taken off from school. By the end of grade 9 my mom had forced me to see a shrink, and I was less than thrilled with this. I told the guy that I didn't want to be there, and walked out. My mom was furious and grounded me for a month. It didn't matter - I had no friends to go play with anyhow.

By the end of grade 10 I'd been given the 'ADD' stamp - this would have been just before it was the 'in thing', and diagnosed with Seasonal Annual Depression. The stutter and loss of vocabulary while stressed were deemed psychosomatic. (aka - Manic Depressive) We couldn't afford the treatments used to regulate it back then, so I went without. I didn't actually get any treatment for Bipolar for another 4 years. It certainly didn't help life any - knowing that the chemistry in my brain was off - and being totally lost in social situations because I just couldn't grasp most of the finer points that everyone mastered years before. By graduation, I was lousy at dealing with unexpected social situations, and crowds terrified me. I'd decided that I had to get out of the city I grew up in - and I moved to Victoria where I knew no one. I kept telling myself I'd go out and make friends, but all that happened is I went out, and sat in the corner because I didn't know anyone, and was too nervous to even try. I went home in tears more than once my first few months at university.

I still hate talking in public situations, and crowds still terrify me. I hate confrontation - and despite what most people seem to think - it takes a lot for me to lose my temper. When I do - the wall is my vent and I just outright avoid whatever pissed me off in the first place. I don't like meeting new people - although once I know them it's not too bad. I'm never surprised when I lose contact with them - or they end up on the other side of the friendship rift. But it always hurts. I went to work in a cafe for my best friend - and I have to say - it's the hardest job I have ever had - having to talk with people all day long. And I'm always convinced that people don't like me or want to talk to me. I turn bright red when I start to stutter or forget a word.

[EvanMoore]

Define "bullied"?

I have been picked on, poked at and prodded physically, emotionally and mentally all my life. It has created in me a disattachment with most social life. Probably why I migrate to the internet--though I tend to get much the same treatment here. This leads me to suspect that it's me, as opposed to society, that is the cause.

I am very different from the norm. I don't know if it's better or worse, but I'm very different. My wife says I'm unique. <shrug> I'm just me.

The one time I was bullied physically for an extended period of time, I took it and took it and took it until one day I'd had enough. I don't remember much about it, but I do remember that I was 9 years old and he was 13 and he had to have stitches and we both had to change schools.

Probably because I was picked on and prodded most of my life, I actually have a very easy going personality and let things slide off of me quickly and easily. I don't hold grudges and forgive very easily. I tend to get angry slowly, let it out in a burst and then it's gone (and I typically feel guilty for getting angry afterwards).

Socially, I'm quite the hermit. Yet, I'm very outgoing and personable. Go figure.

Evan

[Bishop]

Part II.

It made me stronger, inside. I can take a lot of punishment, teasing, and the like. I'm very closed emotionally, though, a lot of the reason being I was always a subject of harassment and teasing. So I never take people at face value. I always delve them, to see if they're being serious or not, before I decide whether or not to like them. Or to get along with them. I don't mind being teased, now a days, but I do mind when people try to make me look like an ass. (I can do a good enough job of that on my own, thank you very much. Just ask 32.) My 2 cents for the day. Spend them wisely.