[Story]The Return of the Thing That Probably Shouldn't Be...

[The Grand Crusader]

*Somewhere, in the deepest pits of the Hell realms, a rock shifts, sending dust, dirt and other material scattering to the winds. Slowly, very very slowly, a massive slab of stone is pushed up and through the air...a clump of fibrous material showing through the gloom. The fibrous material splits down the center and seems to wrap around the edges of the chamber and pull a figure out of the dank chasm. A single word rings through the dark...*

Ass...fro...

*The clump sets the figure down on the cold stone bier, the frayed and tattered remains of a longcoat and body armor hang from around the emaciated frame like a deathly cloak. The figure shakes itself a bit as rusted cybernetics and decayed biotech enhancements start their slow rebuilding, the faint bluish-green glow of activated cybereyes seen through the brown fringe of hair hanging over the figure's face roaming the chamber while a hand gropes for a non-existant weapon*

What...happened...? It's so...cold... Hello? Is there anybody out there? Unga? Anyone?

*He looks down at himself, swearing softly as he takes in his appearance*

Seriously? I've been gone this long that all my equipment's destroyed? I feel like that idiot Laharl...

TGCREGEN!

*A bright green light swirls from the floor around the figure, enveloping him in a cocoon of veridian energy before the whole thing flashes an eye-searing, flash-optics defeating white light. When the light fades, a hale and whole Ancient Bulldrekker is revealed, his volumnous Longcoat of Holding over the form-fitting blue and black body armor.*

Oh, that's so much better. Ripper? *Sticks his hand in his cloak* Check! Concussion Grenades? Check! WP Grenades? Check-a-roonie! Key to the Black Van? Oh, yeah, check! Assfro comb? Huh? It's missing? Aw, crap... *Turns his head and watches the massive hunk of buttfuzz writhing in agony due to a severe lack of good grooming* Well, time to go on a quest for the Assfro Comb...

*The figure wanders out of the hellpit, a determined look on his face as he climbs to the surface...*

[Lord Death Hand]

Buried deep in a mountain lair lights begin to flicker to life. A soft beeping can be heard and the cold hiss of hydraulics as a door slowly opens and a strange vapor beings to billow out into the lab. A skeletal hand seems to be reaching out, but ice has in cased the rest of the body. Suddenly the hand bursts into flames as it reaches room temperature. The flame slides down the hand into the sleeves of a cloak and a cracking sound can be heard as the ice surrounding the being begins to shatter.

After a few minutes the creature falls to the floor on its knees, flaming wings sprouting from its back. Lord Death Hand tilts his head back and cackles. "I LIVE AGAIN!" He looks around the lab and notices that it has been deserted for quite some time. "Something is a miss it seems, I need to find someone to figure out what's happened here."