Evolution


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FlameBlade
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Evolution

Post by FlameBlade »

Long, long, long, long, long time ago...more like millions and millions....maybe a zillion years ago, if we only knew how much a zillion is...The primordial ooze is expanding...and expanding...

And suddenly, it gasped.

And died.

Thankfully, a meteor chose the time to strike the earth.

Hit the ooze hard enough to revive it.

Ooze gasped again. It died again.

Due to flying in face of rules of death and life, a set of new lives were burst forth from the ooze. They are the earliest bulldrekkers. One of them are only a tiny dagger. A bird sprout from the ooze, and it is first creature recorded being killed. Ooze doesn't have any record, so bird is henchforth known as Stubby, after a famous scientist who happened to find this bird without a neck. But the story of Stubby will wait for another time.

Ooze gasped again, and more early bulldrekkers came forth. In honor of Stubby, but Stubby would be born quadrizillion years later. So this is pretty much irrevelent. So ignoring the honor of Stubby, and maybe Becky the Heckhound also, bulldrekkers begins to experiment with their surroundings.

Meanwhile, the ooze is alive for third time, and finally a happy, content ooze.
_I'm a nightmare of every man's fantasy.
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DarkMage
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Post by DarkMage »

*walks to the front of the classroom* Today we will learn about one of the greatest missing links ever. That between the Stubby and the modern Bulldreker. Does anyone have any questions?
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FlameBlade
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Post by FlameBlade »

I said, that's for another time.

In the past...In the past....a tiny dagger finally meets a tiny purple muppet, upon crawling out of the ocean. A tiny book appears out of nowhere, and dagger and muppet has no idea what book does, but soon as the book flips, tiny codicer pops out of the book, and says, "Taaaaaaaadah!" And of course, there are many creations of other bulldrekkers. No relation whatesover to Stubby.
_I'm a nightmare of every man's fantasy.
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Eliahad
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Post by Eliahad »

But Stubby was a resiliant little bird, and continued fighting for survival in the ignorance of the forum.
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FlameBlade
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Post by FlameBlade »

And eventually, Stubby grew and grew and grew...

and he's a gigantic bird. Who ever knew that a big bird can flip a bird?
_I'm a nightmare of every man's fantasy.
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Eliahad
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Post by Eliahad »

And so Stubby was rejected by the producers of Sesame Street, for he only had one marketable talent.
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Post by FlameBlade »

And no one liked that talent for wholesome family television show, so they chose J-L-Cool C-rap group over Stubby. So Stubby went forth to evolve a bit more...so...
_I'm a nightmare of every man's fantasy.
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Eliahad
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Post by Eliahad »

...he sat on the couch, absorbing such fine quality television as Telemundo and Punk'd.
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Post by FlameBlade »

and of course, some MXC.
_I'm a nightmare of every man's fantasy.
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Post by Nightsky »

The bubbling, churning pile of ooze burped again and out came the first mad scientist, but twas only a baby in a tiny white diaper and huge, annoyling cute eyes with a pacifer in his mouth. Immediately fascinating by the world around him, the fledgling madman began examining his new surroundings with the scientific method.

He grabbed a stick and started poking things.
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