A need

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Tue Nov 04, 2003 4:38 pm

Last night, I figured out the weapon I want to carry and use on a regular basis.

I want a shotgun that fires sledgehammers.

ezra · Post by **ezra** » Tue Nov 04, 2003 5:18 pm

That's almost as good as my sawn-off, pistol-grip blunderbuss that fires caltrops.

Kitt · Post by **Kitt** » Tue Nov 04, 2003 8:24 pm

All I want is a cannon that fires small vehicles, but nooooooo, the circus won't let me borrow it. :cry

Daki · Post by **Daki** » Tue Nov 04, 2003 8:39 pm

I want attack cancers and a bowel disruptor.

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Tue Nov 04, 2003 8:41 pm

Well shit, everybody wants those, Mister Jerusalem. I need something a little different when somebody cuts me off in traffic.

click

BLOOM! CRASH! HOLY FUCK THERE'S A SLEDGEHAMMER THROUGH MY WINDSHIELD!

Daki · Post by **Daki** » Tue Nov 04, 2003 9:40 pm

You know what you need then? An Explosive Lawn Gnome Cannon.

Kitt · Post by **Kitt** » Tue Nov 04, 2003 9:59 pm

I still say firing small vehicles at other vehicles (and pedestrians) would be the shit.

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Tue Nov 04, 2003 10:49 pm

Daki - that would kick total ass.

Kitt - you can't hide a weapon like that in a long coat.

Kitt · Post by **Kitt** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 3:04 am

How about on a deuce and a half? Would that work?
*Really wants a car launcher cannon*

Silent Sniper · Post by **Silent Sniper** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 6:06 am

OK, this thread got me thinking...

How about building a railgun that's just long enough to be concealed under a trenchcoat. Only make it so that the distance between the rails can be adjusted by hand. The cram in a capaitor that's got enough power to hurl as much crap as you can shove between the rails at a three or four times the speed of sound.

*ponders the goodness of simultaneously hitting a car with a sledgehammer, a crowbar, three pounds of buckshot, and an anvil*

Salvation122 · Post by **Salvation122** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 6:30 am

I WANT MORE CAFFEINE! AND TECHNO! TECHNO WITH SOLID REPETITVE BACKBEATS AND LIGHT CYMBAL OVERTONES!

WHEEEEEE!

lordhellion · Post by **lordhellion** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 6:33 am

Shoots Sal with a Slingshot-Fired Badger.

Salvation122 · Post by **Salvation122** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 6:35 am

It's a badger, badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger bdager badger badger MUSHROOM MUSHROOM!

Silent Sniper · Post by **Silent Sniper** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 6:41 am

*disrupts Sal's bowels*

Salvation122 · Post by **Salvation122** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 6:43 am

RANDOM LINKAGE!

Eliahad · Post by **Eliahad** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 6:44 am

*Sics attack cancers on Sal's Spleen*

Salvation122 · Post by **Salvation122** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 6:47 am

*Rips out own spleen*

Whatcha gonna do /now,/ bitch? Hmm? HMM?

Silent Sniper · Post by **Silent Sniper** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 6:53 am

*sics 75 indentured komodo dragons that spit namalm on Sal's crotch*

lordhellion · Post by **lordhellion** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 7:05 am

Uses his Interocitor to banish Sal's spleen to the Void.

Salvation122 · Post by **Salvation122** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 7:06 am

*pets the nice lizards*

Silent Sniper · Post by **Silent Sniper** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 7:07 am

You know, that a good way to lose a ha..too late.

Granite · Post by **Granite** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 11:13 am

Y'know, I invented this nearly 10 years ago now, and it's still never lost its charm.

*Whips a loaded Ewok Launcher out from under his coat*

**chink-CHUNG** **KABOOOOOOOM**

"INCHIMAAAAAA!!!"

*KER-SPLAT*

Daki · Post by **Daki** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 12:52 pm

CE is not going to like that. No sir, not one bit.

The Wolfen · Post by **The Wolfen** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 12:55 pm

Daki wrote: CE is not going to like that. No sir, not one bit.

Maybe not, but it nearly wrecked another keyboad here!

Lord Death Hand · Post by **Lord Death Hand** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 2:21 pm

I think I'd want a real Randomizer. Car cuts you off and you shoot it turning it into a dinosaur with a bad case of acid reflux and the driver is in its stomach. Either that or tooth paste.

Granite · Post by **Granite** » Wed Nov 05, 2003 4:33 pm

It's called the Lazy Gun. If you get a chance read a book called Against a Dark Background, by Iain M Banks. You adjust the sights so that the target just about fills them, pull the trigger and the target is destroyed. How is totally random, though the gun does seem to have a sense of humour. e.g. They tested one on a prisoner saved from execution. The gun caused approximately 150 bullets to appear and hit the prisoner in the heart.

Incidentally, it weighs thre times as much upside down as it does right side up, and has rather more mass than weight.

I think I might have one in a safety deposit box somewhere.....

BaronJ · Post by **BaronJ** » Thu Nov 06, 2003 1:49 am

Lord Death Hand wrote:I think I'd want a real Randomizer. Car cuts you off and you shoot it turning it into a dinosaur with a bad case of acid reflux and the driver is in its stomach. Either that or tooth paste.

Aah.. an Infinte Probability drive! I want one of those in my car. Depending on whether or not I put the clutch in properly, everything within 1 metre is randomised. Boom! Then you can calibrate the Drive to randomly materialise supersonic frozen chickens in the offending driver's windshield.

Besides, frozen chickens are much cooler than sledgehammers... they explode in chunky goodness inside the vehicle!

Patience · Post by **Patience** » Thu Nov 06, 2003 3:00 am

*pulls up in the Heart of Gold*
*opens door*

don't ANYONE mention....Krikkit.

CykoSpin · Post by **CykoSpin** » Thu Nov 06, 2003 4:21 am

My latest design, and now my new all-time favorite weapon: The Black Button...

* pushes The Black Button; a random 'drekker is smashed between 'Ewok Logs' *

Kwyndig · Post by **Kwyndig** » Thu Nov 06, 2003 5:13 pm

*The resulting Kwyndig paste rapidly reforms.*

Damnation! That hurt like Heaven! Give me that thing!

*Kwyndig pushes The Black Button and is promptly crushed between 'Ewok Logs' again.*

Okay, I think I've figured it out...

Gunny · Post by **Gunny** » Thu Nov 06, 2003 6:23 pm

Patience wrote:*pulls up in the Heart of Gold*

Oh Christ! It comes with Marvin!!! NOOOOOO!!!!

lordhellion · Post by **lordhellion** » Thu Nov 06, 2003 7:46 pm

No Kwyn, you're doing it wrong.

Hits theBlackButton. Kwyndig is crused by Ewok Logs.

Hmmm. Maybe there'a an instruction booklet.

Lord Death Hand · Post by **Lord Death Hand** » Thu Nov 06, 2003 8:06 pm

Here's the problem. Your pointy arrow here is stuck on Kwyndig. Now all you need to do is grease it back up and the pointy arrow will spin properly again as to point to other names.

CykoSpin · Post by **CykoSpin** » Fri Nov 07, 2003 2:36 am

You mean that pointy arrow thing can actually spin? Wow, and to think, the only reason I put that thing in there was because I thought the overall design was sorely lacking in pointyness.

Lord Death Hand · Post by **Lord Death Hand** » Fri Nov 07, 2003 7:28 pm

Yup it spins. It's how it chooses names.

BaronJ · Post by **BaronJ** » Fri Nov 07, 2003 11:24 pm

Baron looks over to see the Heart of Gold, and waves a Cricket bat at them, offering to play a match

"Tis a lovely day for a game of Cricket, isn't it mate?"

Just then, a sound, not unlike a surprised wallabie getting stepped on, occurred, and white robots carrying cricket bats appeared out of nowhere. Dropping small, round, cricket-ball shaped things, they struck them with their bats, sending them at him. Grinning, Baron served the first one back, but was stunned when the ball instead exploded on the end of his bat.

Drek!

The Grand Crusader · Post by **The Grand Crusader** » Fri Nov 07, 2003 11:51 pm

***Looks at the wants and needs of the various Bulldrekkers***

Riiiight...

***TGC grabs his trusty Mime Launcher V2, grabs one of the nearby mime, and proceeds to lob said mime into the rear winshield of a '79 Pinto, causing the mime, driver, and car to explode mightily***

There we go...violence, carnage, AND ridding the world of one more gas hog!

Lord Death Hand · Post by **Lord Death Hand** » Sat Nov 08, 2003 2:58 am

*Pics up his random launcher and launches a mountain at TGC*

Oops...

The Grand Crusader · Post by **The Grand Crusader** » Sat Nov 08, 2003 8:15 pm

Thanks, man, I needed the extra land card to complete my nuke deck :evil

Lord Death Hand · Post by **Lord Death Hand** » Mon Nov 10, 2003 6:29 pm

*Upon uttering those words TGC is throughly atomized by a contained nuclear blast*

That's what that does!

*LDH quickly hides a little tiny button*

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Sun Feb 07, 2010 4:29 am

It's been years, and I still don't have a shotgun that fires sledgehammers.

The Grand Crusader · Post by **The Grand Crusader** » Sun Feb 07, 2010 10:53 am

Yeah, I know. And I don't have my Mime Launcher, either...though Fallout 3 did come close with it's Rock-It Launcher that fires basically whatever you stick in the breach...

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Mon Feb 08, 2010 5:44 am

The Grand Crusader wrote:Yeah, I know. And I don't have my Mime Launcher, either...though Fallout 3 did come close with it's Rock-It Launcher that fires basically whatever you stick in the breach...

Oh Flinking Hell! I need to go re rig my Neutral tinkerer character with Heavy Weapons and make them shoot nothing but hammers out of the damned thing!

And maybe plungers.

Moto42 · Post by **Moto42** » Thu Apr 22, 2010 12:24 pm

Plungers suck.
That pun is bad and I feel bad.
I thought I saw you running around with a sledgehammer shotgun once already?
Or am I snorting plutonium again?