Bulldrekkian Star Wars

Nightsky · Post by **Nightsky** » Wed Apr 30, 2003 9:39 am

(This is a semi-story thread. The point is to make a lunatical mockery of star wars)

The Imperial Star Fornicator, Molesto, drifts quietly through space on its way to its next molestation victim, the world of Bulldrekkia. Confident in its forincating power, it approachings with no fear. Little does it know, however, that a crack team of Bulldrekian special ops have infiltred the Imperial Star Fornicator with the intention of bringing it down.

On the bridge the heavy blast doors are suddenly torn apart by a massive, all consuming fireball. Nightsky steps through the debris, wielding a stormtrooper blast rifle as the captain immediately orders for guards. A solid wall of tightly packed stormtroopers files together, less than 5 ft from the deranged Bulldrekker.

Nightsky grins psychotically and raises the balst rifle screaming "Lucy I'm home!" and opens fire, showing everything in front of him with a thick wave of flashing red bolts. As the dust clear, one thing is apparent.

Stormtrooper blast rifles are not accurate at 5ft.

Cash · Post by **Cash** » Wed Apr 30, 2003 11:20 am

*from behind Nightsky, Cash turns Nightsky's blaster rifle around and staggers off, clutching his abdomen*

Nightsky · Post by **Nightsky** » Wed Apr 30, 2003 11:33 am

"Doh! Stupid Imperial weaponry! This would never cut it at OLT!"

Nightsky grasps the Blaster Rifle by the barrel and swings it wide, cracking a stormtroopers helmet.

"Ohhhhh! So that's how they work!"

Daki · Post by **Daki** » Wed Apr 30, 2003 3:03 pm

*Deep in the Imperial Ship, Daki walks the corridors with a purposeful stride. Clad in his armor as the Dy'eDrin of Mandalore, he scans the area carefully. The dull lights glint off his jet black armor, yet he makes no sound as he walks. In one hand he carries a war blade forged of mandalorian iron... capable of going toe-to-toe with any lightsaber. In his other hand, his finger rests against the trigger of a flechette rifle.*

*His goal is clear. There is a Sith on this ship. The old hatreds have never ceased. His people would never forget what was done to them by the force users and they would continue to have their blood until their fire has gone out of the universe.*

Brineshrimp · Post by **Brineshrimp** » Wed Apr 30, 2003 4:55 pm

Even deeper within Molestro, Brineshrimp saunders through the winding passageways. Armed only with a roll of toilet paper and a look of intnent, he heads straight for what looks like a secluded access panel.

"This ought to do."

Ikarus7 · Post by **Ikarus7** » Wed Apr 30, 2003 9:55 pm

Ikarus the ewok rebel has been hiding in the toilet for nearly 3 days, he has brought with him is trusty primitive whoppin's stick, an old looking bow, 2 arrows and 3 rock.

Wok Wok!

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Thu May 01, 2003 12:08 am

[[Oh yeah, Cazbacca has got a place... now just to think of something funny to post.]]

Nightsky · Post by **Nightsky** » Thu May 01, 2003 1:23 am

Meanwhile back on the bridge heavy footsteps can be heard running down the corridor. Specifically, Nightsky's footsteps followed by the classical battle order "RUN AWAY!" as mobs of stormtroopers chase after him. Of course, they're really chasing that little remote control box car, but that's not the point.

Kwyndig · Post by **Kwyndig** » Thu May 01, 2003 1:30 am

*Heavy, rhythmic breathing fills the air, as Darth Kwyndig, Sith Lord walks onto the bridge.*

Who is responsible for this mess?

*At random, Darth Kwyndig twists his paw at one of the Imperial officers on the bridge, choking him to death. Unfortunately, it was the helmsman, and the Fornicator begins to list to the left.*

Next time, somebody stop me!

Nightsky · Post by **Nightsky** » Thu May 01, 2003 1:39 am

Nightsky falls against the bulkhead, then through a toliet room as hte Fornicator lists to port. On the plus side the stormtroopers lose track of him.

On the down side he landed on the toilet that the ewok commando and Ikarus were hiding in.

"Ouch! Don't poke me with that primitive whooping stick!"

Tryyng · Post by **Tryyng** » Thu May 01, 2003 2:31 am

*in this adventure, Tryyng will be playing the part of the primitive whooping stick*

POKE!!!

*my role is so limited! i could do so much more! i am a classical actor of might, trained at <<<feed interupted>>>*

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Thu May 01, 2003 2:35 am

Hi! I'm Darth Jedi Knight Master AH! I'm from the neutral side of the Force, here to impose Balance!

Tryyng · Post by **Tryyng** » Thu May 01, 2003 2:40 am

*oooh, i wanna whoop 'im! I's wants to whoop 'im good!*

Nightsky · Post by **Nightsky** » Thu May 01, 2003 3:12 am

"Damned neutralness! I hate neutral. You never know what they're leaning towards!"

Nightsky uses the whooping stick!

*poke**Poke*poke*poke*

"I shall poke you to choosing sides!"

Ikarus7 · Post by **Ikarus7** » Thu May 01, 2003 3:19 am

The ewok freedom fighter make a motion toward his rocks. He look his Nighsky eyes for a second and realise that with all his advanced gear he cannont oppose any resistance to the furry superioty ef the ewok.

Ikarus just take back his stick and get point on a sign of the wall that read "Engine Room" with a confused look.

Yappiti Yum yum knock!

Nightsky · Post by **Nightsky** » Thu May 01, 2003 5:17 pm

"We obviously need a plan B. Quick! Let's steal TIE Fighterse from the hanger and crash them into the sides of the ship!"

Ikarus7 · Post by **Ikarus7** » Thu May 01, 2003 7:15 pm

Nogiti nogititit nogiti nog.

Ikarus just whoop his stick at Nightsky ankle, make a sign to follow him and get out of the restroom.

Tryyng · Post by **Tryyng** » Fri May 02, 2003 6:22 am

*MIGHTY ULTRA ANKLE WHOOP ATTACK!!!!*

whoop.

Nightsky · Post by **Nightsky** » Fri May 02, 2003 7:27 am

"OW! You coughed up furball! I'm not DONE in the bathroom yet. Besides stormtroopers are use to waiting on people in the bathroom. Imagine how long it takes them to get out of that armor to take a wiz."

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Fri May 02, 2003 2:47 pm

I sense a disturbance in the force...Lucas is planning something...what more could he do to our beloved franchise after the Clone Wars, pod Racing, purple and double-ended light-sabers?

Wildfire · Post by **Wildfire** » Tue May 06, 2003 5:22 pm

pokes AH with a double bladed purple light saber

Dude, it's a double balded lightsaber, didn't you ever watch Ninja Scroll? You can do that funky boomerang thing and slice people in half! And if you don''t like purple, here you can use lava lamp mode, great for parties

flicks some switches on AH's lightsaber to make it blue with red lava blobs floating in it

Nightsky · Post by **Nightsky** » Fri May 09, 2003 2:08 am

Nightsky runs past the lightsabre duel, but the look of it makes him abruptly stop.

"What the hell is the matter with you two? Have you turned into Jedi hippies?!"

"We'll your playing with your lamps the smart people and I are going to steal tie fighters and crash them into the fornicator!"

Kwyndig · Post by **Kwyndig** » Fri May 09, 2003 7:52 am

*Darth Kwyndig turns round the corner, practically running straight into Nightsky.*

Ah, Rebel scum, now you face a Sith Lord.

*Darth Kwyndig brandishes his Lightsaber-claws at Nightsky, then thinks better of it and just does the chokey thingy with the Force.*

Wildfire · Post by **Wildfire** » Fri May 09, 2003 5:50 pm

quickly shuts off the lightsaber and hides it behind her back

NO, I don't know anything about rude grafitti burned into the walls...oh, its just you, just a sec, I gotta go write "The Moff's mother was a Hut" in the mess hall, be right there

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Sat May 10, 2003 1:03 am

Cazbacca, the incredibly dangerous cyberwookie rogue pilot and spice snorter, leaps onto Darth Kwyndig, loads him in his Sithcaster and launches him screamingly through a nearby bulkhead.

Roaaaarrrraaaoonk! Raaaarrrhh!!

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Sat May 10, 2003 1:47 pm

I have perfected Jedi technology! behold: the lightsaber-dildo-bong!

Kwyndig · Post by **Kwyndig** » Sat May 10, 2003 7:06 pm

Cazbacca you bastard!

*Darth Kwyndig slams face-first into a blast door control panel, closing off half of the Fornicator's doors at random.*

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Sat May 10, 2003 7:20 pm

Cazbacca, we're out of sex midgets for your harem. WIll you take ewoks instead?

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Fri Jun 29, 2007 8:35 pm

Rhow you doin?

Cazbacca gets 'jiggy' with the ewoks.

Ancient History · Post by **Ancient History** » Sat Jun 30, 2007 9:34 pm

Lucas called. He needs more CGI on Cazbacca 'cause he looks too real.