Useless information for your everyday needs.

CykoSpin · Post by **CykoSpin** » Sat Aug 31, 2002 7:52 am

Just a minute ago, I picked up a book, and when I opened it, a really gross-looking bug was running across the page it opened to. I was startled and snapped the book shut. There's probably a big, gross stain on that page now.

Psykoguy · Post by **Psykoguy** » Sat Aug 31, 2002 8:14 am

meh, once i saw a bug in a bag of chips i was about to eat, now i'm scarred for life so that every time i get chips i have to check for bugs

Ampere · Post by **Ampere** » Sat Aug 31, 2002 11:10 am

I picked up my soda and took a drink. I got stung on the tongue by the yellow jacket that had had been floating in the can.

Mountain dew everywhere!

~A~

Silent Sniper · Post by **Silent Sniper** » Sat Aug 31, 2002 5:47 pm

I've seen a human tooth in a chicken nugget once. And not at McDonalds, either.

JohnnyRico · Post by **JohnnyRico** » Sat Aug 31, 2002 9:10 pm

That's what you get for eating in the Deep South. I mean, really, where do you think all of their missing teeth go?

Lord Death Hand · Post by **Lord Death Hand** » Sat Aug 31, 2002 9:30 pm

I was about to eat a Crunch bar that I had just bought and when I unwrapped it it was covered in maggots.

Psykoguy · Post by **Psykoguy** » Sat Aug 31, 2002 10:31 pm

friend of mine bit into a Chicken McNugget and found a tumor in it, he says it tastes horrible

Jestyr · Post by **Jestyr** » Sun Sep 01, 2002 3:35 am

This is the best motivation to diet ever.

Silent Sniper · Post by **Silent Sniper** » Sun Sep 01, 2002 5:06 am

Psykoguy wrote:friend of mine bit into a Chicken McNugget and found a tumor in it, he says it tastes horrible

You mean he could actually tell the difference?

Tryyng · Post by **Tryyng** » Sun Sep 01, 2002 5:35 am

my cat drinks my milk.

...i'm sorry, i've got nothing.

The Eclipse · Post by **The Eclipse** » Sun Sep 01, 2002 5:54 am

I opened a can of coke and there was a big assed plant inside it.

Ampere · Post by **Ampere** » Sun Sep 01, 2002 5:57 am

I opened a glass of Mikes Hard lemonade, and there was glass in it.

~A~

Jestyr · Post by **Jestyr** » Sun Sep 01, 2002 12:50 pm

Truth in advertising, huh?

I won't talk about eating college food - like the raw chicken, or the casserole that looked and smelt like dog food - because I'm just too traumatised.

Lord Death Hand · Post by **Lord Death Hand** » Sun Sep 01, 2002 5:14 pm

College food doesn't count as food. It's something else, probably some form of cruel torture.

Kitt · Post by **Kitt** » Tue Sep 03, 2002 1:44 pm

My band camp potatoes and cheese were crunchy- as in uncooked.
And rats cant barf, which is why rat poison works so well.

Eliahad · Post by **Eliahad** » Tue Sep 03, 2002 8:52 pm

Tchaikovsky may have been gay, and because of an affair he had with a younger prince, may have been forced to commit suicide...which doesn't make it suicide, now does it?

Gunny · Post by **Gunny** » Tue Sep 03, 2002 9:09 pm

*waiting patiently for the King of Useless & Trivial Information, Daki* you should hear the stuff that he tells me everyday. it's no wonder people run away from him screaming. it's not because of his size, it's the rambling of worthless info!!!!

Jestyr · Post by **Jestyr** » Wed Sep 04, 2002 2:43 am

No information is ever truly worthless...

The Traveler · Post by **The Traveler** » Wed Sep 04, 2002 2:46 am

Jestyr wrote:No information is ever truly worthless...

No, I must say there is.

Take, for example, Britney Spears' middle name.

Jean.

Silent Sniper · Post by **Silent Sniper** » Wed Sep 04, 2002 2:57 am

I didn't think robots had middle names.

CykoSpin · Post by **CykoSpin** » Wed Sep 04, 2002 4:03 am

She's not a robot! She's a genetically engineered sex sla...

..hahaha...I mean, she's a perfectly normal human being. Yeah, that's right. I didn't make her in a lab. Nope. *looks around nervously* Nothing to see here, folks. HEY! *points at something off in the distance* What's that!? *runs off*

Eliahad · Post by **Eliahad** » Wed Sep 04, 2002 4:04 am

It's Britany's Ass! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

*also runs off*

The Wolfen · Post by **The Wolfen** » Wed Sep 04, 2002 6:53 am

I ate the biggest fuckin' sandwich I've ever seen last night. The supermarket was almost out of bread and all we could get was these giant buns, around 9" across. So I stuck a full pack of Philly on there and topped it with a full pack of Quorn and then ate it, very carefully.

Lord Death Hand · Post by **Lord Death Hand** » Wed Sep 04, 2002 8:22 pm

And lived to tell the tale.

Kwyndig · Post by **Kwyndig** » Wed Sep 04, 2002 8:52 pm

For now...

The Traveler · Post by **The Traveler** » Wed Sep 04, 2002 9:24 pm

Fact: Quorn scares me.
Advice: Fungus-based meat substitutes should scare you too.

Kitt · Post by **Kitt** » Wed Sep 04, 2002 11:40 pm

Tofu has no actual nutritional value, good or bad. Nor does it have taste, or so I've been told. If these are both true:
1)Why is it considered healthy?
2)Why does it smell so funny?
3)If a vegetarian eats only vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
4)If Con is the opposite of Pro, what's the opposite of Progress?

The Traveler · Post by **The Traveler** » Wed Sep 04, 2002 11:46 pm

Kitt makes me harder than Chinese Algebra.

This is a bad thing. It's like a Viagra nightmare. I can't walk right anymore.

Kitt · Post by **Kitt** » Wed Sep 04, 2002 11:47 pm

I'm so good I turn myself on.

OverLord · Post by **OverLord** » Wed Sep 04, 2002 11:47 pm

1) Stupidity
2) Consider what it's made of.
3) Cannibals
4) Congress.

CykoSpin · Post by **CykoSpin** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 5:23 am

I've only met a few vegetarians, and they all eat chicken. When I point out to them that chicken is meat, they say "yeah, but chicken doesn't count".

Psykoguy · Post by **Psykoguy** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 6:23 am

one thing that really gets your paranoid is the fact that rats can squeeze into quarter sized holes, now, that means they can crawl through toilets, as well as...

The Wolfen · Post by **The Wolfen** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 6:45 am

CykoSpin wrote:I've only met a few vegetarians, and they all eat chicken. When I point out to them that chicken is meat, they say "yeah, but chicken doesn't count".

Most of the veggies I know don't eat any meat, the ones that eat fish or chicken are known as 'demi-veggies' or something.

I don't know whether to classify myself as a true veggie or not, because I'd be perfectly willing to eat meat killed and prepared by myself or someone I know and trust. (and I've eaten fish caught and cooked by myself before).

Ampere · Post by **Ampere** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 6:51 am

I generally don't eat what FOOD eats.

~A~

The Wolfen · Post by **The Wolfen** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 6:53 am

You could apply that to almost any animal below the top of the food chain though.

Ampere · Post by **Ampere** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 6:59 am

Most any animal could be considered food. Some I guess would be distasteful. But in general Beef, Pork, Lamb, Chicken, Turkey, etc, all eat veggies.
Mostly I get my veggies that way; by eating meat.
Lots of protien.
I know, it's bad. I just loathe veggies.

~A~

The Wolfen · Post by **The Wolfen** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 7:10 am

But in general Beef, Pork, Lamb, Chicken, Turkey, etc, all eat veggies.

You've never met the vicious chicken of Bristol then?

Gunny · Post by **Gunny** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 7:08 pm

*patiently collects dust while waiting for Daki to notice this thread. which could take YEARS.*

Lord Death Hand · Post by **Lord Death Hand** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 7:28 pm

*Sets up a lounge chair and a fridge filled with food stuffs and various alcohol to wait for Daki to find the thread* I needed a reason to set up the lounge chair and fridge and no other opportunities came around.

The Traveler · Post by **The Traveler** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 7:32 pm

Gunny wrote:*patiently collects dust while waiting for Daki to notice this thread. which could take YEARS.*

*dusts Gunny with a featherduster*

Do you dig this, baby? Does it make you horny?

Shagadelic.

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 7:44 pm

Psykoguy wrote:one thing that really gets your paranoid is the fact that rats can squeeze into quarter sized holes, now, that means they can crawl through toilets, as well as...

All I can picture now is Chick McGee naked, screaming, and slaughtering a toilet rat with a plunger.

Gunny · Post by **Gunny** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 7:49 pm

you put the GRR in groovy baybe YEAH!

oh oh!!! I have some useless info!!! everyday I go to the bathroom and bite off the split ends in my hair. *afraid she may have left this one FAR too open for interpretation, oh well*

The Traveler · Post by **The Traveler** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 8:05 pm

I get this bizarre image of Gunny devouring her own hair in a snapping, growling frenzy.

*dusts Gunny some more*

The Wolfen · Post by **The Wolfen** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 8:08 pm

Errr. Traveller, just WHAT is that dust?

Gunny · Post by **Gunny** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 8:10 pm

it sure ain't angel dust.

The Traveler · Post by **The Traveler** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 8:26 pm

Dunno. She was collecting it, and chicks dig the featherduster.

Oh behave!

Gunny · Post by **Gunny** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 8:28 pm

actually... it's making me hungry for a bird of sometype. you have feathers... you must be a bird.... :evil

The Wolfen · Post by **The Wolfen** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 8:28 pm

Who? Me?

Gunny · Post by **Gunny** » Thu Sep 05, 2002 8:33 pm

*stalks Traveler's kneecaps*

CykoSpin · Post by **CykoSpin** » Fri Sep 06, 2002 5:31 am

My friend's sister has a friend who's brother likes her.