Bulldrek v3.0

mIRC wrote: [21:35] * Szechuan ponders Garroting a dragon.
[21:35] <Reika> At least, I didn't see anything that said you couldn't.
[21:35] <Reika> Szech - Not gonna happen.
[21:35] <Szechuan> damn.
[21:35] <Szechuan> What if I got a really big spiked chain?
[21:35] <Szechuan> And pegasi to loop it for me?
[21:35] <Reika> .....
[21:36] <Szechuan> Like, a *real* big chain? Anchor chain?
[21:36] <Szechuan> or what if I just looped it around the dragon's genitalia while it was sleeping?
[21:36] <Reika> For one thing, pegasai can't carry alot of weight if they want to go airborn.
[21:36] <Reika> And wtf is with the dragon questions?
[21:36] <Szechuan> well, fine, ropes attached to the pegasi, like 12 per end.
[21:37] <Szechuan> to hodl the chain to garrote the dragon that lives in the lair in the cave on the hill in the kingdom that's terrorized?
[21:37] * Reika just looks at Szech.
[21:37] <Ang-Semi-NPA> Wheee! 3 + 3 (keen) + 3 (improved) + 3 (favored) + 2 (Ki Critical). Roll above a 6 to get a Threat.
[21:37] <Szechuan> Ang, ever extra multiplier is halved or something.
Nine Inch Nails - Closer
[21:37] <Szechuan> x2+x2 equals x3
[21:38] * Szechuan stares back at Reika.
[21:38] <Ang-Semi-NPA> x2x2x2=x4 They increase the multiplier by their value over 1.
[21:38] <Szechuan> What?
[21:38] * Szechuan nods.
[21:38] <Szechuan> What's wrong with wanting to design traps in which we engineer a dragon's stangulation with anchor chain?
[21:38] <Szechuan> It could happen!
[21:39] <Reika> Uh huh
[21:39] <Rato> This is the D&D3e edition version of double.
[21:39] <Reika> You know that ancher chains are really fucking heavy, right?
[21:39] <Reika> erm anchor
[21:40] <Szechuan> yup.
[21:40] <Szechuan> So you get the 12 pegasi.
[21:41] <Szechuan> Get a magical order to Bull's strength them all.
[21:41] <Ang-Semi-NPA> Szech, why don't you just polymorph into a Dragon and fight it already...
[21:41] <Szechuan> Ang: Because that would be needlessly simple.
[21:41] <Szechuan> So you have 12 Uber-pegasi.
[21:41] * Reika sighs, "With that much effort, you can do something a little more practical..."
[21:41] <Szechuan> Cast Cat's grace, etc..
[21:41] <Szechuan> So they're fast.
[21:41] <Szechuan> Get them to loop really fast around the dragon's neck and pull tight.
[21:41] <Reika> Cat's grace adds to dex, which doesn't increase speed.
[21:41] <Szechuan> damn.
[21:42] <Szechuan> Fine, 'Speed of the Garroting Pegasus'
[21:42] <Szechuan> We'll research it.
[21:42] <Reika> .....
[21:42] * Ang-Semi-NPA notes that he briefly considered a Druid possibly moving in to Geomancer or Shifter.
[21:42] <Szechuan> Now, while they're holding the dragon, We'll run into the lair and grab its treasure horde.
[21:42] <Reika> uh huh
[21:42] <Szechuan> Then, loading said horde into an enormous Sail.
[21:42] <Szechuan> We pick it up with another dozen pegasi.
[21:43] <Szechuan> And drop it on the dragon's head, killing it.
[21:43] * Reika wonders how long Szech's char is going to live in her game if he comes up with ideas like that.
[21:43] <Cygnata> hehe
[21:43] <Ang-Semi-NPA> Not long. I'll kill him for blowing my cover.
[21:43] * Reika laughs
[21:43] <Cygnata> Reika: considering the dragon would probably have objections...
[21:43] <Szechuan> *Then* we use an epic version of 'Animate Object' to use the dragon's body as a puppet.
Beatles - Yesterday
[21:44] <Reika> Cyg - I've already stated that my dragons aren't your usual D&D dragons.....
[21:44] <Szechuan> And have it do a little soft-shoe routine.
[21:44] <Jack> crazy works at times...
[21:44] <Reika> Sludig - Not like that
[21:44] <Cygnata> Reika: I play dragons, remember
[21:44] <Reika> Cyg - So you know where I'm coming from then.
[21:44] <Szechuan> Now, while the dragon is dancing, we tell the nearby villages that Godzilla is coming.
[21:44] <Szechuan> They all go to watch this.. event.
[21:45] <Szechuan> And we steal their stuff, and drop it on them from a great height.
[21:45] * Ang-Semi-NPA ponders acquiring a celestial cohort through Leadership.
[21:45] <Szechuan> Killing the village.
[21:45] <Szechuan> Now, here's the tricky part.
[21:45] <Szechuan> We use the gold that killed the dragon as a foci for the new spell 'Pennies from heaven'
[21:45] <Ang-Semi-NPA> Then we die from old age.
[21:45] <Szechuan> Which calls down 1d1000 tonnes of pennies in a 200 ft by 200 ft area.
Mr. Bungle - Ma Meeshka Mow Skwoz
[21:46] <Szechuan> So then, we go down to Gehenna.
[21:46] <Szechuan> And rain pennies.
[21:46] <Szechuan> Wait, my mistake.
[21:46] <Rato> On hell.
[21:46] <Szechuan> The Abyss.
[21:46] <Reika> Right, Szech just made up my mind about the half-fiend aboleth.
[21:46] * Ang-Semi-NPA notes the time.
[21:46] <Ang-Semi-NPA> Woo, almost Anime time!
[21:46] <Szechuan> Now, we go to the first level of the Abyss.
[21:46] <Szechuan> Use the thousands and thousands of coins from the dragon horde to cast 'Pennies from Heaven' at least a few thousand times.
[21:47] <Szechuan> probably closer to 30 or so.
[21:47] * Reika thinks that NWN sounds pretty good right about now.
[21:47] * Reika is now known as ReikaNWN
[21:47] <Szechuan> Now, this much extra weight falling at once will cause the first level of the abyss to crumble, falling onto the 2nd level.
[21:47] <Szechuan> That extra weight will cause the 2nd level to fall.
[21:47] <Szechuan> And so on.
[21:47] <Szechuan> Eventually the infinite layers of the Abyss will be a big pile of rocks and pennies.
[21:48] <Ang-Semi-NPA> And then we'l win teh Shadowrun!
[21:48] <Szechuan> So then we loot all these coins and magic items and stuff.
[21:48] <Szechuan> And the throne.
[21:48] <Szechuan> And we offer it to the Pantheon in exchange for godhood.
[21:48] <Szechuan> Then we rain pennies on all the other gods, take their portfolios, and ascend to the status of 'Universal Omnibeings'

<Szechuan> Reika, you're nice, and tolerant, and fun to talk to.
<Szechuan> But you're a *bitch* ^_^

Szechuan wrote:Note: I am taking my medication. Lord knows where I would have stopped without it.

* Instant_Cash stuffslin in a garbage can
<Liniah> not this time, joshypooh!
<Liniah> cuz I'm /hardcore/!
<Instant_Cash> yes, that's nice Lin
* Instant_Cash pats lin on the head
<Jeff_Busy> ROFLMAO
<Liniah> dude
<Jeff_Busy> IC, you rule. :)
<Salvation122> People are funny when they drink.
<Liniah> I let you borrow Fallout2...
<Liniah> and /this/ is how you repay me?!
<Liniah> YOU SHALL FEEL MY WRATH!
<MjelvizZzZ> No. This is how he mocks you.
<Instant_Cash> I like, picked your ass up from the airport /and/ put you up for the weekend
<Liniah> oi!
<Instant_Cash> :D
<Liniah> that was low
<Instant_Cash> yeah, you try playin hard ball missy
* Instant_Cash flexes

<Thorn> Hate this stupid fucking computer.
* Szechuan wuffles Thorn.
<Szechuan> What's wrong?
<Thorn> It hates me.
<Thorn> We got DSL a couple weeks ago, and while Caz sees a clear and obvious difference, and it works all great for him, for me? Nope. Goes as slow or even slower than it used to. It makes no freakin' sense, either.
* Szechuan hrmms.
<Szechuan> OH!
<Szechuan> That's why he's been posting so much!
<Szechuan>
* Szechuan had issues with DSL, too.
* Thorn nods. Oh yeah, it's working great for him. But for me? Oh no. Pages on BD load slower for me than for him, and he's reading BD-proper regular, and I'm reading SST on stripped. WTF is that?! Grrrr.
* Teja wuffles Thorn.
<Flak_Semi-NPA> Is DSL the one the slows down if a load of people in the area use it at the same time, or am I thinking of another system?
<Minx> Cable
<Minx> Thorn: You two using two different computers?
<Thorn> No, same computer.
<Minx> Different accounts?
<Thorn> Nope.
<Minx> That's just... strange.
<Thorn> Like I say, it hates me.
<Flak_Semi-NPA> Just use Caz as your internet chauffer then? He does the typing/clicky stuff as you direct.
* Szechuan grins.
<Szechuan> Thorn, like I said, I had weird issues and spotty connections for months, but whenever our dad used it, it worked fine, so he thought we were crazy. :
<Szechuan>
<Thorn> Flak: hee hee. Yeah, that won't be crazy-making or anything....
<Flak_Semi-NPA> [voice class=Thorn]No! The middle link! The middle one I said! Sheesh.[/vc]
<Szechuan> And Caz would keep posting to Bulldrek whenever Thorn looked away.
<Thorn> Szech - exactly
<Szechuan> As Thorn.
<Flak_Semi-NPA> Nah, he wouldn't Deev Thorn (much). He's too nice, and besides- she doesn't have a high enough post count.
* Szechuan cackles.
<Thorn> And posting as me doesn't get him any closer to P10k
* Szechuan chuckles.
<Szechuan> He managed to get himself back to 7% and i haven't been able to knock him back down.
<Szechuan> Don't tell him I said that.
* Thorn laughs. It's okay, I don't need to tell him. I keep hearing about 7% and blah blah blah.
<Szechuan> ROFL
<Szechuan> He takes this community very seriously, doesn't he?
<Szechuan> Dammit! How much does it take to knock that man down!
<Thorn> Well, yeah, he does.
<Flak_Semi-NPA> Maybe we could offer Thorn a bribe to keep Caz distracted for a while? You open to bids?
* Szechuan grins.
<Thorn> Dude, you need to find me some lingerie with a keyboard across the front.
<Szechuan> Holy shit. I've gained 189 posts on Caz.
* Szechuan CACKLES!
<Thorn> Now /that/ I'm gonna tell 'im.
<Szechuan> I'm quoting you.
<Thorn> What?
<Flak_Semi-NPA> I think the keyboard thing.
*** Flak_Semi-NPA is now known as Flak
<Szechuan> ya.
<Thorn> Ah. Okay.
<Flak> Hhmm, that might be a bit tricky though. Would just wrapping a keyboard in lingerie do you think? Or would you need the whole computer for that way round?
<Thorn> Waitaminnit - wrapping a keyboard in lingerie... so what d'you need to bribe me for? Shee-it.
<Szechuan> Just glue KB buttons in strategic places on the lingerie.
<Flak> Well.... Okay, maybe you could be the backup? Use your feminine wiles on him. Failing that, hit him over the head with something heavy.
<Thorn> Flak, you've seen his head. The only thing heavy enough is a car, and I can't lift those.
<Flak> Hhmm, good point.
<Szechuan> Just wait until she's PMSing
* Flak steps away from Szechuan.
* Thorn laughs!!
<Thorn> Usually when I'm PMSing I'm too busy in here beating up on you guys to have time to go lifting cars, man.
<Flak> Heh. Maybe you could just shave his head. Removing the crumple zone- aka. helmet hair- might work.
<Thorn> HA HA HA!!! OMG. Well, it probably wouldn't make his head any more vulnerable, but it would certainly slow down his posting. All the falling to his knees with his hair spilling out of his hands, wailing in sorrow would probably take up a lot of his time for a while.
* Teja laughs!
<Flak> Thorn aka Delilah.
<Szechuan> lol
<Szechuan> Feed him some radium.
<Flak> And if you want to be truely evil, try shaving the eyebrows as well. Mate from work had his goatee forcibly removed, then they tried for the eyebrows but he got away. Although his left one was slighty thinner than the other.
<Thorn> Wow. You Brits are weird, man.
<Thorn> And while, you know, I'm all down with the bald man (Mmmmmm Vin), Caz really needs the hair. Otherwise we won't be able to go anywhere in public for like, a year or more. People will keep thinking he's escaped from a psych ward somewhere.
<Flak> Well, there was a /lot/ of beer involved.
<Flak> It was most dissetling though. You could tell something was odd but couldn't put your finger on it at first glance.
* Thorn laughs.
* Szechuan has pondered shaving his eyebrows.
<Flak> Jesus, 1500 BD posts? When did that happen? Last time I really looked it was like 1200.
<Teja> o_O
<Szechuan> O_o
* Szechuan goes to get his shaver.
<Szechuan> That would be crazy, cuz' nobody would notice at first.
<Flak> What, you blond or something?
* Teja runs and grabs all of em and chucks em in the dumpster. "Dude. That's just wrong."
<Szechuan> I'm a brunette.
<Szechuan> What? What?!?
* Szechuan retrieves his electric shaver.
<Flak> Nah, just you said people wouldn't notice. Blonds generally have less/also less noticable hair.
* Szechuan shrugs.
<Flak> Damn, wish I was able to use an electric razor.
<Szechuan> I find when people have no eyebrows, it's tought to figure out just what's different.
<Flak> I'd always assumed the lack of eyebrows would give it away.
<Szechuan> Actually, you'd be surprised.
<Szechuan> It's like if someone gets glasses or shaves a beard and you don't notice right away.
<N> "Hey, you look like a tool, but I can't figure out why!"
* Szechuan shrugs.
<Szechuan> Yeah, pretty much.
<Flak> Hey Nex, didn't see you there.
<N> Yo
*** Teja has quit IRC (Quit: CGI:IRC (EOF) )
*** Szechuan has quit IRC (Quit: Sleep. )
*** Thorn is now known as Cazmonster
* Cazmonster bribes Thorn with Taco Bell and takes the machine!

FlakJacket wrote: <N> "Hey, you look like a tool, but I can't figure out why!"
* Szechuan shrugs.
<Szechuan> Yeah, pretty much.
<Flak> Hey Nex, didn't see you there.
<N> Yo
*** Teja has quit IRC (Quit: CGI:IRC (EOF) )
*** Szechuan has quit IRC (Quit: Sleep. )
*** Thorn is now known as Cazmonster
* Cazmonster bribes Thorn with Taco Bell and takes the machine!

<Cash-AFK> It's nothing a good crowbar, rag, and bottle of ether won't solve
<Jestyr> What is /with/ your thing for ether?! :-)
<Cash-AFK> I've tried jars of honey and it just doesn't have the same effect...
<Jestyr> Certain other effects, I'm sure.
<Cash-AFK> A jar of air?
<Jestyr> Fairly boring, really.
<Jestyr> I see your point about the ether.
<Cash-AFK> *nods* Although a jar of beer would be exciting. But why waste it on a rag?
<Jestyr> Also you have to have a lot of the beer to have the same soporific effect as just one jar of ether...
<Cash-AFK> I'm game.
* Jestyr laughs and imagines the slogans. "Ether: all of the coma, none of the continuous-runs-to-the-bathroom!"

[16:01] * Wildfire ponders the feasibility of getting the buttons changed from Preview and Submit to 'Censorship' and 'Fuck Off'...

mIRC wrote: [22:13] * Szechuan humps Eclipse's leg.
[22:13] * Szechuan humps Moonwolf's leg.
[22:13] * Szechuan humps OverLord's leg.
[22:13] <OverLord> Szech.....
[22:14] * Szechuan moves on...
[22:14] * OverLord puts away the box of flechette rounds. "The boy learns. Marvelous."
[22:14] * Szechuan humps OL's tail.
[22:14] * Adam jumps OverLord's leg
[22:14] * Szechuan humps Adam humping OL's leg
[22:14] * Adam then jumps over it again, and in the confusion humps the other one.
[22:15] * OverLord 's balance is disrupted and he crashes to the floor.
[22:15] <Szechuan> White-boys on dragon orgy!
[22:15] * Szechuan humps OL's ear.
[22:15] * Ka0s humps OverLord's arm
[22:15] <Szechuan> CANUCKATTACK!
[22:15] * OverLord resigns himself to his fate.
[22:15] <Adam> It's not fate. It's an orgy.
[22:15] * Szechuan humps away, foaming at the mouth.
[22:16] <Maelwys> Dude, swallow, don't bubble.
[22:16] * Szechuan spits his food everywhere laughing.
[22:16] * OverLord gets the feeling he's going to be feeling rather sticky in the near future.
[22:16] <Adam> Not if you swallow.
[22:16] <Szechuan> I got this vision of OverLord's avatar being jumped by three little white canadian guys.
[22:16] <Ka0s>
[22:17] <Szechuan>
[22:17] <Szechuan> posting to IRC funnies.
[22:17] <OverLord> !!!
[22:17] <OverLord> ...I'm doomed, aren't I?