TLM, Norwegian, studies History, might get snippy, has gf, bleeding heart liberal.
That having been said: Bring it!
Do your worst. Just don't bring in Limbaugh.And now, a moment of levity
And now, a moment of levity
Seeing as I haven't gone through the seemingly required hazing and torturing ritual, I thought I'd introduce myself:
TLM, Norwegian, studies History, might get snippy, has gf, bleeding heart liberal.
That having been said: Bring it! Do your worst. Just don't bring in Limbaugh.
TLM, Norwegian, studies History, might get snippy, has gf, bleeding heart liberal.
That having been said: Bring it!
Do your worst. Just don't bring in Limbaugh.Geneticists have established that all women share a common ancestor, called Eve, and that all men share a common ancestor, dubbed Adam. However, it has also been established that Adam was born 80.000 years after Eve. So, the world before him was one of heavy to industral strength lesbianism, one assumes.
-Stephen Fry, QI
-Stephen Fry, QI
-
DarkMage
- Bondsman of the Crimson Assfro
- Posts: 2133
- Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2002 3:41 pm
- Location: Upstate NY
*takes out his cock and shoves it violently down TLM's mouth and makes him gag*
Hello and welcome to bulldrek.
Hello and welcome to bulldrek.
_
What is a friend? A single soul in two bodies - Aristotle
Drive by Ogling
:plode :plode :plode
</hr>
What is a friend? A single soul in two bodies - Aristotle
Drive by Ogling
:plode :plode :plode
</hr>
-
DarkMage
- Bondsman of the Crimson Assfro
- Posts: 2133
- Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2002 3:41 pm
- Location: Upstate NY
*takes the Muffin and puts it in TLM's brain caviety*[/u][/i]
_
What is a friend? A single soul in two bodies - Aristotle
Drive by Ogling
:plode :plode :plode
</hr>
What is a friend? A single soul in two bodies - Aristotle
Drive by Ogling
:plode :plode :plode
</hr>
Re: And now, a moment of levity
AHA! Exposing your weakness! A most terrible rookie mistake!TLM wrote:Just don't bring in Limbaugh.
* unleashes 10,000 Rush Limbaugh clones upon TLM *
_SURPRISE! I don't like you!
To the rescue!
Have no fear! Saiga is here!* unleashes 10,000 Rush Limbaugh clones upon TLM *
*Goes and 'borrows' a wheelbarrow-full of drugs from his dealer and leaves a trail leading into the swamps of Florida*
"Corruptio optimi pessima"
-
Silent Sniper
- Bondsman of the Crimson Assfro
- Posts: 2189
- Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2002 7:48 pm
- Location: Bulldrek
<i>Warps TLM and Saiga's perceptions of space so that they see in 17 dimensions simultaneously.[/i]
Welcome to the weird place.
Edit: I can't get the 'i's in the right place.
Welcome to the weird place.
Edit: I can't get the 'i's in the right place.
Last edited by Moonwolf on Sun May 09, 2004 2:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
*Saiga suggests that if you insist on misspelling his name, you may use Siaga San*Moonwolf wrote:<i>Warps TLM and Siaga's perceptions of space so that they see in 17 dimensions simultaneously.[/i]
*Moving to the 31st plane of reality*
CheersMoonwolf wrote:Welcome to the wierd place.
"Corruptio optimi pessima"
-
JohnnyRico
- Wuffle Student
- Posts: 1254
- Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2002 1:11 pm
- Location: Hell on Earth, in the Greatest state of the Union
- Contact:
*Rico strolls in and sprinkles a combination of itching and burning regenerative nanites on the chunky salsa piles that are Saiga and TLM.*
"Just so you know, the itching nanites are a Bulldrek classic. The nanites that make you feel like you're on fire even as they repair the damage done to your helpless bodies are my fun little addition to this Tasty ravaging. Enjoy!"
"Just so you know, the itching nanites are a Bulldrek classic. The nanites that make you feel like you're on fire even as they repair the damage done to your helpless bodies are my fun little addition to this Tasty ravaging. Enjoy!"
"I have a conundrum for you. A riddle if you will. What's the difference between you, and malard with a cold? I don't remember how it ends, but your mothers a whore." -"Sean Connery" Celebrity Jeopardy- SNL
*TLM would like to respond to these assaults, however, having a muffin for a brain precludes that... until the friendly nanites rebuilds him, at least.*
glooooooooooooooop!
glooooooooooooooop!
Geneticists have established that all women share a common ancestor, called Eve, and that all men share a common ancestor, dubbed Adam. However, it has also been established that Adam was born 80.000 years after Eve. So, the world before him was one of heavy to industral strength lesbianism, one assumes.
-Stephen Fry, QI
-Stephen Fry, QI
-
Lord Death Hand
- No-Life Loser
- Posts: 10666
- Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2002 7:42 pm
- Location: Flatsville, Iowa
MUFFIN!
*LDH leaps upon TLM's shoulders and starts tearing away at his skull in search of the tasty treat. Flesh and bone fly through the air as LDH holds up the MUFFIN in triumph. He then proceeds to gooble it down*
Mmmmm....muffin.....
*LDH leaps upon TLM's shoulders and starts tearing away at his skull in search of the tasty treat. Flesh and bone fly through the air as LDH holds up the MUFFIN in triumph. He then proceeds to gooble it down*
Mmmmm....muffin.....
I am the evil monkey what lives in your nuts.
Lick my butt and suck my balls, America FUCK YEAH!
Lick my butt and suck my balls, America FUCK YEAH!
-
FlakJacket
- Orbital Cow Private
- Posts: 4064
- Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2002 2:05 pm
- Location: Birminghman, UK
*Straps TLM to a chair, tapes his eyes open so he cant look away, starts the direct feed of the two Limbaugh clones having hot sweaty man-sex whilst sermonising and runs out of the room.*
The 86 Rules of Boozing
75. Beer makes you mellow, champagne makes you silly, wine makes you dramatic, tequila makes you felonious.
75. Beer makes you mellow, champagne makes you silly, wine makes you dramatic, tequila makes you felonious.
-
Silent Sniper
- Bondsman of the Crimson Assfro
- Posts: 2189
- Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2002 7:48 pm
- Location: Bulldrek
:asleep :asleep 
:plode
:plodeGeneticists have established that all women share a common ancestor, called Eve, and that all men share a common ancestor, dubbed Adam. However, it has also been established that Adam was born 80.000 years after Eve. So, the world before him was one of heavy to industral strength lesbianism, one assumes.
-Stephen Fry, QI
-Stephen Fry, QI
-
Cazmonster
- No-Life Loser
- Posts: 11964
- Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2002 7:28 am
- Contact:
Oh, yeah, let me go get THE LIST!!!.
Cazmonster, the twelve-foot cyberfreakin antimuppet jander off to get his favorite weapon out of storage. It takes a few minutes to warm up. But with it humming menacingly, he jacks it into TLM's cervical apeture. In a heartbeat, TLM's sensorium is ablaze with horrific senations like these!
Forced to access internet uing a 1200/75 modem.
Colon detonated in an unfortunate assfro, chinese pepper and horseradish incident.
Pancreas destroyed by a SMITE!™
Shot in the face with a shotgun.
Dragged along behind the BLACK VAN at a high rate of speed by one's shoelaces.
Succumbs to terminal hand cramps from Boot Camp Paperwork.
Sewn back together, a macabre parody of what one once was.
Sprayed in the face with pepper spray.
Vomits up own gall-bladder.
Cooked and irradiated in a baked Alaska shell by a nuclear- SMITE!™ bomb
Blinded by a White Phosphorus grenade.
Shaved with a dull razor
Exploded from the guts out by an alien twinkie-spawn.
Frapped in a blender and poured into a scrotum-shaped martini glass.
Ripped apart by Wendigo-tendrils
Eats chili made with Navajo green-bomb peppers.
Stripped of skin by a coarse and angry assfro.
Personal hard drive molested by AIM.
Sublimated from the waist down.
Scalded by a pot of hot coffee.
Heart ripped out and disintegrated.
Spitted through the nads by the same supersonic nac mac feegle.
Every Barney song and episode instantly played in trid in his brain, 6000000 times over
Used as the "tee" in 865 tee-ball games, with pro wrestlers making up the bulk of both teams.
Still-beating heart ripped out
Devoured by a catfish the size of a '57 cadillac.
Lowered into a live volcano
Caught in the back with a hypersonic pumpkin pie.
Slits own throat.
Fed on by half-starved weasels.
Neutered
Forced to memorize all of Flameblade's different Blade personalities.
Vocal apparatus yanked out in order of size.
Ripping out one's own liver.
Suffers the effects of coming between Cazmonster and his addiction.
Slapped in the face with a rubber tactical baton.
Brains eaten for breakfast.
Shoved into a giant hollowed-out d20 and then used in a game of D&D.
Tied down, smeared with honey and feasted upon by bears.
Injected with pixie-stick syrup.
Punched in the face with a fist full of broken glass.
Beaten senseless with a SMITE!™ baton
Suffers a 'money shot' from Aquablade.
Exploded by the push of a button.
Trampled into unconciousness by a pack of furbies.
Rolled for one's wallet by a sentient tentacle of super-thick sentient coffee.
Forced to deal with an angry Caz after he's forced to wear a red latex devil suit
Forced to worship at the porcelin goddess.
Vocal chords ripped out.
Infused with kool-aidy goodness.
Circuits fused by an EMP.
Crushed by a cow launched by the stinky French.
Crotch destroyed by a minigun full of incendiary rounds.
Crushed in the grip of Steve Ballmer's evil techno-magic
Boiled in a cauldron of cheese.
Many, many bones broken by non-explosive panther cannon rounds.
Swallowed by the Giant Pumpkin.
Squozen to death by boiling swoffee.
Rent and Broken by a demon
The cube unfolds after being shoved down one's throat.
Irradiated by an intelleye mouse.
Can of ez-cheese slammed down throat.
THREADSMITED!™
Turned into putty in a doughnut-shaped zepplin.
Blood boiled
Chopped in half with a chainsaw.
Organs yanked out with a pair of chopsticks
Hurled against a turnbuckle.
Destroyed by the Black Orb of Ultimate Darkness
Spanked, by a monkey.
Whomped with a microphone and driven from the DJ's booth.
Split down the middle with an axe.
Smacked around by Crucible's Ego.
Beaten with the Multiple Personalities thread
Reduced to ashes by a Godly lightning bolt.
Beaten flat with sledge hammers and other heavy objects.
Torn apart by flying ass monkeys.
Exposed to hard vacuum.
Decapitated by a low-flying X-wing.
Cracked in the face with a thrown frying pan.
Hand blown off with a surgical precision three round burst.
Whacked over the head with a frying pan.
Firing Line head shot.
Injected with Nervetwister nanites
Suffers the effects of an 'Oucherizer'.
Stomped and chewed by giant, radiation-mutated ants.
HELLFIRED
Incinerated in a wall of flames.
Forced to have sex with Mad Merchant.
Kicked to death by a munchkin.
Consumed by a mimic while one's friends watch from the sidelines.
Chomped by the man-eating villiage idiot.
Zapped by a behavior modification chip that doesn't like Ultima Online.
Fragmentation grenade dropped down shorts.
Rips his own torso free of his legs to stop puppet dancing
Wipe his eyeballs with brillo pads.
Skeet-shot.
Assaulted by huge, animated ringworms.
Suffers the attentions of the Jolly Rancher.
Whacked over the head with a rubber chicken by a sprinting bulldrekker.
Arm yanked off and chomped on by a scotsman.
Delayed action SPHINCTER TAR TAR!!!!!
Splattered by a battering-ram-ray.
Transformed into Jim Jones
Cooked, slowly, on a rotisserie.
Nipple blasted off by a hypersonic suspender twang.
Cornholed by a pack of UNGAMUNGA trolls.
Electrocuted
Lip pulled over head.
Beaten with steel-reinforced pinata clubs.
Zapped with the Multiple Personalities Laser.
His fingers and toes cut off knuckle by knuckle and then consumed
Headbutted by a maniac dwarf pretending to be a woodpecker hopped up on crank.
Masticated like one is a boodha bone in a bulldog's possession.
Random body parts blown off with HELLFIRE!
Suffers a self-inflicted decapitation.
Eyeball forcibly evicted by the hairy eyeball.
Thrown through a plate glass window.
Body wrung like a wet towel until most of one's bones break.
Messily peeled by an enraged mechanical potato peeler.
Bound in a starched Jacket of Sanity.
Suffers a severe eyelet injury.
Pelted by a rain of soapy frogs
Being on the original Judgement when it was destroyed
Touched "in the wacky place" by Tryyng.
Smashed in the face with a 'lit' television.
Suffers the death of a thousand darts.
Emasculated with a railgun.
Catches a face-ful of molten iron bar.
Stripped of flesh by an angry assfro.
Buried by a collapsed ceiling.
Forced to accept Flameblade as "Your Daddy" in StarCraft.
Head yanked off and knocked across a thread with a sculling oar.
Crushed to death by 500 lbs of hamburger on the hoof.
Soul twisted into what can only be described as "origami".
Fang put on by rampaging werewolf.
Brain removed with a laser scalpel.
Slathered in BarBQ sauce, grilled, and taste-tested by Cazmonster.
Extendible jaws jabbed through small of back.
Flayed, mouth-first, by one's own assfro.
Stuffed into a gimlet.
Turbo-melvined by an Elder God.
Run through a wood-chipper.
Suffers the indignation of living in the Teenwolf cartoon
Digested to the cyberware and laced bones by sugary acid.
Ass kicked by Cazmonster until one gets the necessary motivation to get some help with your education.
Mutated by microwaves.
Forced to serve as a guinea pig to Dr. FrankenSkyien.
Swarming of Blades slicing off skin inch by inch.
Fails in an attempted self-lobotomy.
Decapitated by Frostburn .
Fried at Kentucky Fried Tasties.
Beaten down by Teletubbies
Shot, stabbed and carved
Beaten by an assfro-powered beatin' stick
Hit over the head with an EZbake oven.
Drained of his remaining essence by a vampire
Kicked to the deck.
Stripped of one's flesh and then bones hammered into a windmill.
Forced to read entire content of LDH and MM's orgy.
Beaten to within an inch of one's life with a thread.
Shot in the skull with a large-bore rifle.
Slashed into razor-thin filets.
Stabbed through the eye with the rubber chicken of unhappiness.
Catches a burst of LSD in the eye.
Anally raped by a viagra-jolted Jolly Rancher.
Cleaved above the fourth thorassic vertabrae by a dikoted fris-bee.
Soul ripped from body by a miscalculated platypus shaman dance.
Defiled by UNGAMUNGA Trolls (it happens so often it needed another spot)
Ass pecked by raven.
Face crushed with a sledgehammer.
Beaten with a giant brass club that loosely resembles a Chinese lantern.
Reduced to a brain in a jar.
Chest opened like some obscene gate by a caffienated bunny.
Infiltrated by the green gooiness of Mutatedblade.
Teeth yanked out without the pleasantness of anesthesia.
Ran over by the BLACK VAN.
Has a new one ripped with a double beam scythe.
Forced to become ABBA's 'Dancing Queen'.
Slammed by the mighty NexusVoid for a complete lack of RP'ing ability.
Forced to 'enjoy' a refreshing pitcher of caffiene-free Diet Mountain Dew.
Head caved in with a table leg.
Blown into the air by a landmine.
Incinerated in a failed attempt to protect a tree-fort.
Pummeled by ninjas.
Skull crushed with a mighty headbutt.
Appendages chewed by ravenous meerkats.
Bitten and clawed by an army of marmots.
Peppered with a barrage of marshmallow and coconut delicacies.
Smited from above by a falling '87 Monte Carlo.
Fills in for Atlas for a few aeons.
Two words - cabbage sandwich.
Cut in half by an exploding firearm.
Thorn-induced rib-crushing hug.
Fat rendered down for deep-fry oil.
Viciously beaten by OverLord after his suit has been damaged
Legs waxed.
Impaled by a lawyer launcher round.
Punches self repeatedly in the face.
Brain eaten by foosball players.
Kitten nailed to forehead with railgun.
Kidnapped by the Evil Black Tammagotchi Ninja Cult and taken away to be tortured by the smack addicted, Uzi weilding, Columbian Carebears.
Blasted with concentrated Bulldrek.
Run over with a tank.
Head stripped of its flesh by and angry clump of butt-fuzz
Beaten with a titanic rubber chicken.
Zapped with a nuclear-powered taser.
Whacked across the face with a rolled-up newspaper.
Smashed in the head by a terminal velocity Nac Mac Feegle
Shocked by a home electroconvulsive therapy kit. (Okay, its a fork jammed in an electrical socket, but still.)
Underwear tied into a tourniquet while still on.
Gets paraded over by MutatedBlade42's army of undead posts and tasties.
Shot in the groin with a shotgun.
Deep fried and devoured.
Reads through all of Paladium's Rifts supplements
Given a two-kilo thermite suppository and then ignited.
Compelled by the power of Bulldrek.
Turned into a horrifying genetic experiment by Doctor Frankenskyen.
Forced to see nothing but very fat women in spandex and tube tops
Nipple torture.
Groin eliminated by HELLFIRE!
Ripped apart by a minigun
Landed upon and squished by the cyber-skeletal remains of the Amishnator.
Splatted in the face with a blueberry muffin.
Subjected to a tedious flame-war about fractions.
Kneecaps chewed off and spleen stolen.
Dropped on one's head through a dimensional rift.
Whaled upon with Overlord.
Head squirted into the audience by a chair assisted by an 800-kilo sumo ass.
Hit with a 1963 corvette
Detonated into chunky salsa by a backpack full of unstable explosives and EX rounds. (We miss you Roadspike!)
Head driven deep into chest when used as a human battering ram.
Asphixiated by an elephantine surge of intestinal gas.
Kicked in the ass with a NEON GREEN COMBAT BOOT.
Head driven deep into alimentary canal by plummeting blimp.
Cloned and Fried even more at Kentucky Fried Tasties.
Hit by a boy/girl gun
Vomits after realizing a complete lack of life.
Flayed
Forced to write an OS in Fortran or Cobol.
SMITE!™
Ripped to pinstriped shreds.
Blended into chunky salsa by a fusion powered quizinart.
Turned into a frozen pop with a bat up the sphincter.
Head stove in with the BIBLE OF PAIN .
Beaten like a schwartz stepchild.
Kneed in the face.
One's mountain oysters are deep-fried.
Thundered over like a 90-year-old at Pamplona.
Sliced and baked into cookies.
Run over by GITT.
Wrapped in orichalum-barbed chain
Feet lit on fire.
Beaned in the head with a billiard ball.
Chopped to kibble by a blast of mini-gun fire.
Stripped to the bone by extreme butt-ugliness
Flayed alive with a piece of salt-soaked twine rubbed across his skin
Beaten, rolled, mugged, abused and robbed by swoffee.
Clubbed, viciously, with a can of ez-cheeze.
Nac Mac Feegle bursts from chest.
Falls, hitting almost every branch in the ugly tree.
Perforated by LSD capsule rounds.
Clobbered by a Pair o Dogs, who where wrapped in an Enigma and shrouded by a mystery at the time.
Exploded by a mortar-launched mime.
Chowed upon by Rokea.
Consumed by sinsual.
Forced into Bulldrek withdrawls.
Glows purple and then explodes with five times the power of the atmosphere processor from Aliens
Frozen and shattered by a meditative MOTO.
Chewed to death by a thousand blades.
Agonizes in THE PIT!!!
Has the Rabbit of Caer Bong stuffed down his pants
Kicked square in the jimmy by a cyberfreak.
Landed on by a startled Emperor.
Two words - Chainsaw nosejob.
Rended by a kitten
Chopped into pieces by a hole in reality.
Consumed in a vat of mutant sea bass.
Poked in the eyes, Three Stooges style.
Torso chopped into several, easily-carried, sections.
Forced to play 'gladiatorial' soccer with a ball-peen hammer in one hand and an axe handle in the other.
Electrocuted by Pikachu.
Left gonad SMITED™! away with a Firing Line. *KERBLAMMO* *KERBLAMMO*
Head removed and chewed.
Head ripped off and used as a radiator mascot.
Dreams invaded by Umlaut
Lit on fire
Icepick slammed into temporal lobe.
Shoulder torn asunder by a gigantic wendi-parrot
Get torn asunder by halffros at a KFT establishment.
Emerilsmited. "PORK FAT RULES!"
Tail yanked out by the roots.
Shot full of holes.
Shot in the back of the head with a 1.00 calibre handcannon.
Smacked upside the head, gestapo style, with a blackjack.
Shot in the wallet pocket.
Landed on by a 15-ton ball of yarn.
Ripped to shreds by the weapons arrays of the original Judgement.
Exploded from a SUGARRUSH!™
Whaled on with a phaser set to "spank".
Cazmonster, the twelve-foot cyberfreakin antimuppet jander off to get his favorite weapon out of storage. It takes a few minutes to warm up. But with it humming menacingly, he jacks it into TLM's cervical apeture. In a heartbeat, TLM's sensorium is ablaze with horrific senations like these!
Forced to access internet uing a 1200/75 modem.
Colon detonated in an unfortunate assfro, chinese pepper and horseradish incident.
Pancreas destroyed by a SMITE!™
Shot in the face with a shotgun.
Dragged along behind the BLACK VAN at a high rate of speed by one's shoelaces.
Succumbs to terminal hand cramps from Boot Camp Paperwork.
Sewn back together, a macabre parody of what one once was.
Sprayed in the face with pepper spray.
Vomits up own gall-bladder.
Cooked and irradiated in a baked Alaska shell by a nuclear- SMITE!™ bomb
Blinded by a White Phosphorus grenade.
Shaved with a dull razor
Exploded from the guts out by an alien twinkie-spawn.
Frapped in a blender and poured into a scrotum-shaped martini glass.
Ripped apart by Wendigo-tendrils
Eats chili made with Navajo green-bomb peppers.
Stripped of skin by a coarse and angry assfro.
Personal hard drive molested by AIM.
Sublimated from the waist down.
Scalded by a pot of hot coffee.
Heart ripped out and disintegrated.
Spitted through the nads by the same supersonic nac mac feegle.
Every Barney song and episode instantly played in trid in his brain, 6000000 times over
Used as the "tee" in 865 tee-ball games, with pro wrestlers making up the bulk of both teams.
Still-beating heart ripped out
Devoured by a catfish the size of a '57 cadillac.
Lowered into a live volcano
Caught in the back with a hypersonic pumpkin pie.
Slits own throat.
Fed on by half-starved weasels.
Neutered
Forced to memorize all of Flameblade's different Blade personalities.
Vocal apparatus yanked out in order of size.
Ripping out one's own liver.
Suffers the effects of coming between Cazmonster and his addiction.
Slapped in the face with a rubber tactical baton.
Brains eaten for breakfast.
Shoved into a giant hollowed-out d20 and then used in a game of D&D.
Tied down, smeared with honey and feasted upon by bears.
Injected with pixie-stick syrup.
Punched in the face with a fist full of broken glass.
Beaten senseless with a SMITE!™ baton
Suffers a 'money shot' from Aquablade.
Exploded by the push of a button.
Trampled into unconciousness by a pack of furbies.
Rolled for one's wallet by a sentient tentacle of super-thick sentient coffee.
Forced to deal with an angry Caz after he's forced to wear a red latex devil suit
Forced to worship at the porcelin goddess.
Vocal chords ripped out.
Infused with kool-aidy goodness.
Circuits fused by an EMP.
Crushed by a cow launched by the stinky French.
Crotch destroyed by a minigun full of incendiary rounds.
Crushed in the grip of Steve Ballmer's evil techno-magic
Boiled in a cauldron of cheese.
Many, many bones broken by non-explosive panther cannon rounds.
Swallowed by the Giant Pumpkin.
Squozen to death by boiling swoffee.
Rent and Broken by a demon
The cube unfolds after being shoved down one's throat.
Irradiated by an intelleye mouse.
Can of ez-cheese slammed down throat.
THREADSMITED!™
Turned into putty in a doughnut-shaped zepplin.
Blood boiled
Chopped in half with a chainsaw.
Organs yanked out with a pair of chopsticks
Hurled against a turnbuckle.
Destroyed by the Black Orb of Ultimate Darkness
Spanked, by a monkey.
Whomped with a microphone and driven from the DJ's booth.
Split down the middle with an axe.
Smacked around by Crucible's Ego.
Beaten with the Multiple Personalities thread
Reduced to ashes by a Godly lightning bolt.
Beaten flat with sledge hammers and other heavy objects.
Torn apart by flying ass monkeys.
Exposed to hard vacuum.
Decapitated by a low-flying X-wing.
Cracked in the face with a thrown frying pan.
Hand blown off with a surgical precision three round burst.
Whacked over the head with a frying pan.
Firing Line head shot.
Injected with Nervetwister nanites
Suffers the effects of an 'Oucherizer'.
Stomped and chewed by giant, radiation-mutated ants.
HELLFIRED
Incinerated in a wall of flames.
Forced to have sex with Mad Merchant.
Kicked to death by a munchkin.
Consumed by a mimic while one's friends watch from the sidelines.
Chomped by the man-eating villiage idiot.
Zapped by a behavior modification chip that doesn't like Ultima Online.
Fragmentation grenade dropped down shorts.
Rips his own torso free of his legs to stop puppet dancing
Wipe his eyeballs with brillo pads.
Skeet-shot.
Assaulted by huge, animated ringworms.
Suffers the attentions of the Jolly Rancher.
Whacked over the head with a rubber chicken by a sprinting bulldrekker.
Arm yanked off and chomped on by a scotsman.
Delayed action SPHINCTER TAR TAR!!!!!
Splattered by a battering-ram-ray.
Transformed into Jim Jones
Cooked, slowly, on a rotisserie.
Nipple blasted off by a hypersonic suspender twang.
Cornholed by a pack of UNGAMUNGA trolls.
Electrocuted
Lip pulled over head.
Beaten with steel-reinforced pinata clubs.
Zapped with the Multiple Personalities Laser.
His fingers and toes cut off knuckle by knuckle and then consumed
Headbutted by a maniac dwarf pretending to be a woodpecker hopped up on crank.
Masticated like one is a boodha bone in a bulldog's possession.
Random body parts blown off with HELLFIRE!
Suffers a self-inflicted decapitation.
Eyeball forcibly evicted by the hairy eyeball.
Thrown through a plate glass window.
Body wrung like a wet towel until most of one's bones break.
Messily peeled by an enraged mechanical potato peeler.
Bound in a starched Jacket of Sanity.
Suffers a severe eyelet injury.
Pelted by a rain of soapy frogs
Being on the original Judgement when it was destroyed
Touched "in the wacky place" by Tryyng.
Smashed in the face with a 'lit' television.
Suffers the death of a thousand darts.
Emasculated with a railgun.
Catches a face-ful of molten iron bar.
Stripped of flesh by an angry assfro.
Buried by a collapsed ceiling.
Forced to accept Flameblade as "Your Daddy" in StarCraft.
Head yanked off and knocked across a thread with a sculling oar.
Crushed to death by 500 lbs of hamburger on the hoof.
Soul twisted into what can only be described as "origami".
Fang put on by rampaging werewolf.
Brain removed with a laser scalpel.
Slathered in BarBQ sauce, grilled, and taste-tested by Cazmonster.
Extendible jaws jabbed through small of back.
Flayed, mouth-first, by one's own assfro.
Stuffed into a gimlet.
Turbo-melvined by an Elder God.
Run through a wood-chipper.
Suffers the indignation of living in the Teenwolf cartoon
Digested to the cyberware and laced bones by sugary acid.
Ass kicked by Cazmonster until one gets the necessary motivation to get some help with your education.
Mutated by microwaves.
Forced to serve as a guinea pig to Dr. FrankenSkyien.
Swarming of Blades slicing off skin inch by inch.
Fails in an attempted self-lobotomy.
Decapitated by Frostburn .
Fried at Kentucky Fried Tasties.
Beaten down by Teletubbies
Shot, stabbed and carved
Beaten by an assfro-powered beatin' stick
Hit over the head with an EZbake oven.
Drained of his remaining essence by a vampire
Kicked to the deck.
Stripped of one's flesh and then bones hammered into a windmill.
Forced to read entire content of LDH and MM's orgy.
Beaten to within an inch of one's life with a thread.
Shot in the skull with a large-bore rifle.
Slashed into razor-thin filets.
Stabbed through the eye with the rubber chicken of unhappiness.
Catches a burst of LSD in the eye.
Anally raped by a viagra-jolted Jolly Rancher.
Cleaved above the fourth thorassic vertabrae by a dikoted fris-bee.
Soul ripped from body by a miscalculated platypus shaman dance.
Defiled by UNGAMUNGA Trolls (it happens so often it needed another spot)
Ass pecked by raven.
Face crushed with a sledgehammer.
Beaten with a giant brass club that loosely resembles a Chinese lantern.
Reduced to a brain in a jar.
Chest opened like some obscene gate by a caffienated bunny.
Infiltrated by the green gooiness of Mutatedblade.
Teeth yanked out without the pleasantness of anesthesia.
Ran over by the BLACK VAN.
Has a new one ripped with a double beam scythe.
Forced to become ABBA's 'Dancing Queen'.
Slammed by the mighty NexusVoid for a complete lack of RP'ing ability.
Forced to 'enjoy' a refreshing pitcher of caffiene-free Diet Mountain Dew.
Head caved in with a table leg.
Blown into the air by a landmine.
Incinerated in a failed attempt to protect a tree-fort.
Pummeled by ninjas.
Skull crushed with a mighty headbutt.
Appendages chewed by ravenous meerkats.
Bitten and clawed by an army of marmots.
Peppered with a barrage of marshmallow and coconut delicacies.
Smited from above by a falling '87 Monte Carlo.
Fills in for Atlas for a few aeons.
Two words - cabbage sandwich.
Cut in half by an exploding firearm.
Thorn-induced rib-crushing hug.
Fat rendered down for deep-fry oil.
Viciously beaten by OverLord after his suit has been damaged
Legs waxed.
Impaled by a lawyer launcher round.
Punches self repeatedly in the face.
Brain eaten by foosball players.
Kitten nailed to forehead with railgun.
Kidnapped by the Evil Black Tammagotchi Ninja Cult and taken away to be tortured by the smack addicted, Uzi weilding, Columbian Carebears.
Blasted with concentrated Bulldrek.
Run over with a tank.
Head stripped of its flesh by and angry clump of butt-fuzz
Beaten with a titanic rubber chicken.
Zapped with a nuclear-powered taser.
Whacked across the face with a rolled-up newspaper.
Smashed in the head by a terminal velocity Nac Mac Feegle
Shocked by a home electroconvulsive therapy kit. (Okay, its a fork jammed in an electrical socket, but still.)
Underwear tied into a tourniquet while still on.
Gets paraded over by MutatedBlade42's army of undead posts and tasties.
Shot in the groin with a shotgun.
Deep fried and devoured.
Reads through all of Paladium's Rifts supplements
Given a two-kilo thermite suppository and then ignited.
Compelled by the power of Bulldrek.
Turned into a horrifying genetic experiment by Doctor Frankenskyen.
Forced to see nothing but very fat women in spandex and tube tops
Nipple torture.
Groin eliminated by HELLFIRE!
Ripped apart by a minigun
Landed upon and squished by the cyber-skeletal remains of the Amishnator.
Splatted in the face with a blueberry muffin.
Subjected to a tedious flame-war about fractions.
Kneecaps chewed off and spleen stolen.
Dropped on one's head through a dimensional rift.
Whaled upon with Overlord.
Head squirted into the audience by a chair assisted by an 800-kilo sumo ass.
Hit with a 1963 corvette
Detonated into chunky salsa by a backpack full of unstable explosives and EX rounds. (We miss you Roadspike!)
Head driven deep into chest when used as a human battering ram.
Asphixiated by an elephantine surge of intestinal gas.
Kicked in the ass with a NEON GREEN COMBAT BOOT.
Head driven deep into alimentary canal by plummeting blimp.
Cloned and Fried even more at Kentucky Fried Tasties.
Hit by a boy/girl gun
Vomits after realizing a complete lack of life.
Flayed
Forced to write an OS in Fortran or Cobol.
SMITE!™
Ripped to pinstriped shreds.
Blended into chunky salsa by a fusion powered quizinart.
Turned into a frozen pop with a bat up the sphincter.
Head stove in with the BIBLE OF PAIN .
Beaten like a schwartz stepchild.
Kneed in the face.
One's mountain oysters are deep-fried.
Thundered over like a 90-year-old at Pamplona.
Sliced and baked into cookies.
Run over by GITT.
Wrapped in orichalum-barbed chain
Feet lit on fire.
Beaned in the head with a billiard ball.
Chopped to kibble by a blast of mini-gun fire.
Stripped to the bone by extreme butt-ugliness
Flayed alive with a piece of salt-soaked twine rubbed across his skin
Beaten, rolled, mugged, abused and robbed by swoffee.
Clubbed, viciously, with a can of ez-cheeze.
Nac Mac Feegle bursts from chest.
Falls, hitting almost every branch in the ugly tree.
Perforated by LSD capsule rounds.
Clobbered by a Pair o Dogs, who where wrapped in an Enigma and shrouded by a mystery at the time.
Exploded by a mortar-launched mime.
Chowed upon by Rokea.
Consumed by sinsual.
Forced into Bulldrek withdrawls.
Glows purple and then explodes with five times the power of the atmosphere processor from Aliens
Frozen and shattered by a meditative MOTO.
Chewed to death by a thousand blades.
Agonizes in THE PIT!!!
Has the Rabbit of Caer Bong stuffed down his pants
Kicked square in the jimmy by a cyberfreak.
Landed on by a startled Emperor.
Two words - Chainsaw nosejob.
Rended by a kitten
Chopped into pieces by a hole in reality.
Consumed in a vat of mutant sea bass.
Poked in the eyes, Three Stooges style.
Torso chopped into several, easily-carried, sections.
Forced to play 'gladiatorial' soccer with a ball-peen hammer in one hand and an axe handle in the other.
Electrocuted by Pikachu.
Left gonad SMITED™! away with a Firing Line. *KERBLAMMO* *KERBLAMMO*
Head removed and chewed.
Head ripped off and used as a radiator mascot.
Dreams invaded by Umlaut
Lit on fire
Icepick slammed into temporal lobe.
Shoulder torn asunder by a gigantic wendi-parrot
Get torn asunder by halffros at a KFT establishment.
Emerilsmited. "PORK FAT RULES!"
Tail yanked out by the roots.
Shot full of holes.
Shot in the back of the head with a 1.00 calibre handcannon.
Smacked upside the head, gestapo style, with a blackjack.
Shot in the wallet pocket.
Landed on by a 15-ton ball of yarn.
Ripped to shreds by the weapons arrays of the original Judgement.
Exploded from a SUGARRUSH!™
Whaled on with a phaser set to "spank".
<a href="http://heftywrenches.wordpress.com">Agent Zero Speaks!</a>
-
FlameBlade
- SMITE!™ Master
- Posts: 8644
- Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2002 3:54 am
- Contact:
TLM explodes all over the thread with a violent scream of unending pain. After a few moments some of the gobbets of flesh begins to [glow]glow[/glow] slightly... and move
Geneticists have established that all women share a common ancestor, called Eve, and that all men share a common ancestor, dubbed Adam. However, it has also been established that Adam was born 80.000 years after Eve. So, the world before him was one of heavy to industral strength lesbianism, one assumes.
-Stephen Fry, QI
-Stephen Fry, QI
-
Kwyndig
- Grand Marshall of the Imperium
- Posts: 3613
- Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2002 7:55 am
- Location: The Orbiting Volcano Lair, high above the surface of Bulldrek
- Contact:
*In one of his more usual displays of curiosity over-riding common sense, Kwyndig pokes the glowing fleshy bits with a claw.*
kwyndig@yahoo.com This sig for rent, reasonable rates
The gobbet judders slightly then oozes away from the werekittens claws, sliding towards another of it's kind. They join up with a sickening little squelch. The [glow]glow[/glow] intensifies...
Geneticists have established that all women share a common ancestor, called Eve, and that all men share a common ancestor, dubbed Adam. However, it has also been established that Adam was born 80.000 years after Eve. So, the world before him was one of heavy to industral strength lesbianism, one assumes.
-Stephen Fry, QI
-Stephen Fry, QI
-
Lord Death Hand
- No-Life Loser
- Posts: 10666
- Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2002 7:42 pm
- Location: Flatsville, Iowa
The gobbets starts to reform into a vague humanoid shape, gaining solifity and cohesion in mere minutes. TLM opens his eyes.
DAMN that hurt! *Pulls out a shotgun and starts blasting the Limbaugh Clones* GAAAAAAAAAH!!
DAMN that hurt! *Pulls out a shotgun and starts blasting the Limbaugh Clones* GAAAAAAAAAH!!
Geneticists have established that all women share a common ancestor, called Eve, and that all men share a common ancestor, dubbed Adam. However, it has also been established that Adam was born 80.000 years after Eve. So, the world before him was one of heavy to industral strength lesbianism, one assumes.
-Stephen Fry, QI
-Stephen Fry, QI
-
lordhellion
- Wuffle Grand Master
- Posts: 1861
- Joined: Mon Nov 04, 2002 11:11 pm
- Location: An underpass on I-5
- Contact:
-
Cazmonster
- No-Life Loser
- Posts: 11964
- Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2002 7:28 am
- Contact: